I should try harder to get the hell out of here, and I probably would if I knew where to go. I was on borrowed time with Razielsooner or later he was going to sneak into my brain and see the doleful daydreams I was trying to fight, see the unbidden, lustful feelings that were stronger than anything Id ever felt in my life. And that would be humiliating. If I couldnt control mymy crush, then I needed to escape. I just needed to know where.
I was so hungry I could eat his pristine white sofa. Someone had cleared away my dishes from the night before, so I couldnt scavenge for leftovers. The doughnuts were long gone, and I was bereft.
I flopped down on the sofa, putting a hand over my eyes as I moaned piteously. Ben & Jerrys, I thought longingly. Super Fudge Chunk or Cherry Garcia, to start with. If I hadnt already embraced the motto Life is uncertain, eat dessert first, the last twenty-four hours or so would have convinced me. But Raziels refrigerator had been as stark and barren as this apartment. No help there.
After that, lasagna, thick and gooey, with gobs of garlic bread and cheese, accompanied by a nice cabernet. At this rate, Id settle for a can of Ensure.
I moaned again, turning over on my stomach and hiding my head against the cushions. The thought of food filled me with such longing I almost thought I could smell it. Lasagna, which
Id assiduously avoided during my dieting years. In retrospect, that seemed to be my entire freaking adult life.
Allie. Sarahs soft voice penetrated my misery.
I flipped over, rattled, to find Sarah standing in the living room beside a younger woman holding a tray. I didnt hear you come in, I said, feeling embarrassed. Apparently Sarah didnt hold with knocking.
Sarahs faint smile might have been an apology or it might not. This is Carrie. Shes Sammaels wife, and shes one of our newest residents. I thought you two might like to talk.
I looked at the newcomer. Carrie was another tall one, with long blond hair, a sweet smile, and a shadow in her perfect blue eyes. Clearly the Fallen chose Aryan Amazons to marry, which let me out. Not that I wanted to be in the running anyway, I reminded myself. I even managed a welcoming smile.
That would be great. That wouldnt be dinner, would it? I looked pointedly at the tray, my spirits rising.
I hope you like lasagna, Sarah said cheerfully. Ill go put the ice cream in the freezer.
I recognized the Ben & Jerrys packagingwho wouldnt?and I didnt bother to ask what flavors. I knew.
Carrie set down the tray and sat opposite me, pulling the covers off the plates. No garlic bread, she said with a faint smile. It interferes with the blood flow.
A stray shiver danced down my backbone. I looked carefully at the young woman, probably five years younger than I was, but there were no marks on her neck or wrists. Then again, there had been no marks on Sarahs wrist just after Raziel had fed from her. I squirmed, still bothered by the thought.
Though far more bothered by the notion of Raziel at Sarahs thin, blue-veined wrist than of anyone else feeding from her.
What blood? I asked, helping myself to the lasagna, too hungry to be squeamish. I didnt really want to know, but I was trying to be polite.
The blood I give Sammael, she said simply. Garlic affects clotting time.
This sounded perfectly reasonable, if you didnt consider what they were doing with the blood in the first place and how they were getting it. I forcibly swept it out of my mind. Do you want some of this? I gestured toward the overburdened plate. They seemed to bring me twice as much as I wanted. At this rate Id getno, I wouldnt.
Ill wait and eat with Sammael. He prefers it that way. Right now he and the other Fallen are looking at the defenses before the meeting, making certain theres no way the Nephilim can break through. There have been rumors that theyre going to try.
There are always rumors, Sarah said softly, coming in from the kitchen. Its better not to pay any attention to them. The men can walk around and mutter things and feel important, but in the end the Nephilim will either break in or not, and I dont think theres any way we can affect that.
And the Nephilim are the flesh-eaters? I asked, suddenly taking a good look at my bright red pasta. I set my plate down again.
Sarah nodded. There are no words to describe them. A living nightmare. Theyve never been able to pierce the walls of Sheol, but thats no guarantee they wont. She fell silent for a moment, as if she were looking at something in the distance, something unbearable. And then she rallied, serene as ever.
In the meantime all we can do is live our lives. Theyve been a threat since the beginning of timeworrying gets us nowhere.
The lasagna was no longer sitting very well on my stomach, but I knew that the ice cream would take care of my nausea. There was nothing in this world, or whatever world I was in, that ice cream couldnt fix. I headed for the fridge, pausing to look out the windows at the men on the wide expanse of beach.