I had to get rid of her, and fast. I needed her out of my rooms, out of my world. There was no way in hell I was going to let them invoke the Grace of forgetting, but apart from that anything would be an improvement. Sarah was always looking for someone to motherAllie Watson was the very thing. I could pass her over, then go out on my own and not have to think about her anymore. It might take a day or two to get her out of my system, but I could do it. I could turn myself off. As long as she wasnt living in my apartment and taunting me.
I was getting closer to Lucifers burial ground. I could sit and listen and hear him deep in the earth, feel his call vibrate through my body, and I was close, so close. I didnt need to get distracted by a woman with a mouth that wouldnt stop moving and erotic images invading my mind.
Why the hell had Sammael brought her up to the cave in the first place? He knew better than anybody that place should be off-limits, particularly to an interloper like Allie Watson. It was the closest wed come to Lucifer, the Light, and to have her bumbling around with her incessant questions was close to blasphemy.
Not that I believed in blasphemy. That was part of why I was here, wasnt it? Because I, like the others, refused to follow the rules, to kill without question, to wipe out generations and scourge the land. I had looked on a human woman and fallen in love, and for that I was forever cursed.
Surely there was something wrong with an ethos that equated love with death. It was so long ago I wasnt sure I could remember what wed been thinking, could barely remember her. But I couldnt forget the emotion, the passion that had driven me, the certainty that choosing life, choosing human love, was the right thing to do. It had been worth it, worth everything, and I had never regretted it.
I could regret the vulnerability, the need that had driven me to such a desperate act, but it no longer mattered. I had done what I had done, and I wouldnt wish it changed. But it would never happen again.
Uriel knew how to use vulnerabilities. He knew how to torture, even with the rules that kept him from wiping us out. I wasnt going to let him use me again.
So perhaps there were times when I wished I could still feel that innocent, powerful love. Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of years, millennia, piling up, and Id never been able to recapture that pure, essential passion that had made me destroy everything.
But I still would have done it. Chosen to fall. Wed been taught that the humans were like cattleyou trained them, destroyed them if they disobeyed, never answered their questions, and, most of all, never looked upon them with lust.
Wed been sent to earth with our appointed tasks. Azazel had been sent to teach the people metalwork; his job had been to train and to pass on the magic. The first twenty each had jobs, and wed done well enough at first. But the longer we remained on earth, the more human we became. The hungers started, hunger for food, for life, for sex. And we started thinking that we could make this benighted world a better place. We could bring our wisdom and power, we could experience love and dedication. We would intermarry and our children would grow strong and there would be no more wars and God would smile.
God didnt smile. There were no childrenthe curse was swift and vicious. We were damned for eternity. Because of love.
No wonder the woman wandering around my rooms annoyed me. It wasnt just her prattleshe was right, it was a pleasant voice. But after all these years I had no
use for humankind, for women in particular. And this woman, of all women. A moment of unexpected sentimentality, and Id complicated my existence and that of the Fallen. No woman was worth it.
Still, it was my choice, my mistake, and my only option was to fix it, even if I wanted to pass her off. There had to be someplace we could send her where she wouldnt cause trouble. And then we could deal with Uriels wrath.
I was the keeper of secrets, the lord of magic. Within me resided all the wisdom of the ages, and I had been sent to earth to give that knowledge to its hapless inhabitants. So how could I be so fucking stupid?
I glanced down, adjusted myself, and followed her into the living room. She was sprawled on one sofa, barefoot. My clothes fit her too damned wellI was going to have to see about something loose that covered up all the curves but was colorful enough to keep her happy.
God, why did I have to start worrying about keeping a woman happy? Especially a woman like Allie Watson.
Her long, thick brown hair was much better than the short bleached cut shed had when I found her. Her face was prettier without makeup. She shifted, turning to look at me without getting up.
I walked over to one end of the sofa. Where do you want to live?
Shed been looking both annoyed and slightly downcast, but at this she brightened. Ive got a choice where I go?
I didnt think so, but I was grasping at straws. The one thing I knew, it couldnt be hell. It was nothing personal. I hadnt come this far to let Uriel win.