I could have, he agreed. But you need to know where you are, whats expected of you. There wont always be someone around to transport you. And I dont want to transport you if I can help it.
Why not? He probably didnt want to touch me, I thought, grumpy at the idea. He was treating me as if I had an advanced case of leprosy, which was both annoying and ever so slightly depressing. Not that I was attracted to himhe wasnt my type.
You know why, he said
shortly.
What do you mean?
His eyes met mine, and I had the oddest feeling I could see my own thoughts in them. Which was truly a horrible idea, because Id had some thoughts that were decidedly warm, indecent, and embarrassing. This was hard enough without him knowing that I had feelings I was using all my excess energy trying to fight. If he could read my every thought, I was screwed.
No, I cant always tell what youre thinking, he said by way of an answer, and my heart sank. Some things are easy, other things are well protected inside you. It takes a lot to get to those, and Im certainly not going to bother.
I wasnt sure if that was reassuring or insulting. At least he had no idea that I had a furtive desire to jump his
Stop it! he snapped.
Shit . Okay, I could try fighting back. I batted my eyelashes, giving him my most limpid, innocent look. Stop what?
He crossed the cavern so fast I wondered if hed used magic, or whatever his abilities were called. It will not happen, so you can stop thinking about it. I am never going to mate with you.
Mate with me? I echoed, much amused. Why dont you just call a spade a spade? Youre never going to have sex with me. Which, incidentally, is fortunate, because what makes you think I want to have sex with you ? No one likes rejection, even from someone they despise.
Theres a difference. Mating is a bond for life. Your life. Sex is simply fornication.
And you dont approve of fornication.
He looked at me then, a slow, scorching look. Maybe I was wrong on the rejection part. He loomed over me, dangerously close. I could quite easily fuck you, he said deliberately, the word strange in his faintly formal voice. You are undeniably luscious. But Im not going to. And you need to get it out of your mind as well. Its not just the words that distract me. Its the pictures.
Oh, crap . He could see the visuals? I cant help it! Its like telling someone not to move. As soon as someone tells me to be still, I end up having to wiggle. Anyway, you were the one who brought up the subject in the first place.
He opened his mouth to argue, then closed it. I have things to do, he said finally. I dont want to transport you.
I looked around the cavernous room. Youll have to put up with it, I said. Otherwise theres no way down and Im stuck here.
You tempt me, he said, and his stark, beautiful voice danced down my backbone. I really was much too susceptible to him. But someone would come to find you. He moved past me, heading toward the corridor that led to the outside world. As outside as Sheol might be. He paused, looking back at me.
Are you coming?
I would have loved to tell him no, but there was a chill to the place, and I didnt want to wait there alone until someone came to rescue me. I was managing pretty damned well, given the situation, but I was his responsibility and I was not about to let him abandon me.
I raced after him, catching up as we reached the mouth of the cave and the misty daylight. What next? I said. Do I climb on your back, or do you carry me in your arms, or
You stop talking, he said.
I almost tripped over the white rug that covered part of the white marble floor. We were back in his sterile apartment, and he was in the kitchen. My legs felt a little wobbly, and I sank down on the sofa and put my head between my legs to keep from passing out. Then I looked up. You could give me some warning next time, I said irritably.
There wont be a next time if I can help it. He leaned against the counter, looking at a plate of doughnuts someone had left. Arent you going to eat these? I suppose Sarah told you you cant gain weight.
I bristled slightly that he would even mention my weight in such an offhand manner, but hey, that was permission enough. I got to my feet and moved into the small kitchen.
And it was small. Too small to hold both of us, really, but he wasnt shifting away and I wanted those magic doughnuts.
It was a novel experience, having a beautiful man tell me to eat fattening foods, the stuff of daydreams. No, dear, at one hundred and eighty pounds, youre too thin. You need to put on some weight . Be still, my heart. Oh, he was hardly the first beautiful man Id been around. I was shallow that wayI liked men who were pretty and just a little stupid, and Id always preferred them on the beefy side. I had the unhappy suspicion that Raziel was a little too smart for my peace of mind. But
I was beginning to see the appeal of lean, powerful elegance.
Most of my boyfriends had wanted me to go on a diet, get down to a size six or eight from the comfortable size twelve Id worn since college. Wed go out to dinner, I would dutifully order a side salad with a spritz of lemon juice or vinegar, and then the moment I was home alone Id plow through the Ben &