You are my Beloved, he repeated as the darkness swallowed him up, the lyrical tones of his voice lingering in the air even as he disappeared from sight. We are bound together.
Wait- I said, starting forward.
Andreas grabbed my arm, saying with earnest intensity, He did not expect you to save him.
I had to, I tried to explain, but Andreas simply shook his head and walked out the door.
I had no choice, I said, my hands outstretched as I looked for someone to whom I could explain the situation. Magda sighed, set down her magazine, and stood up.
Rays calling for me. I have to go now. Well be here soon, and then you and I can talk about it, OK?
Youre leaving me? I asked, a sudden sense of panic filling me as she walked toward the dark kitchen. Youre leaving me alone?
She paused and shook her head, her lips curved in a gentle smile. Im not really here, Pia. Its just a dream, nothing more.
But Kristoff was here, I said, gesturing toward the door to my bedroom. He was right there. I saw him.
She said nothing, just gave me another little smile; then she, too, melted into nothing.
I saw him! I insisted to the now empty room. Kristoff, I saw you. Kristoff?
The echo of my voice was the only sound.
I wrapped my arms around myself and sank to my knees with a sob of pure misery as my heart cried out his name. Kristoff!
Pia?
His voice was soft in my head, soft and intimate and warm, the feel of it flooding my senses with the memory of him. It was enough to jerk me out of the dream, hot tears leaking from the corners of my eyes as consciousness returned, and with it the profound sense of loss that seemed to be my constant companion.
As my mind fought to free itself from the muzziness of the dream, I realized what had happened. Id called out to Kristoff from the depths of my dream, and hed answered. Although I knew that frequently Beloveds and their Dark Ones had the ability to mind-talk to each other, our parting was sufficiently heartbreaking to keep me from trying it.
Pia?
The word resonated in my head, a sense of reluctant concern lingering long after the last echo faded away.
Yes, its me. Im sorry ; I was asleep. I didnt mean to disturb you. The silence that filled my head wasnt made up of silence at all-I could feel emotions flowing through him, but he was guarding himself, not allowing me to sense just what they were. Still, I wasnt going to let this opportunity slip by me. I . . . Ive been worried about you, Kristoff. Are you OK?
Go back to sleep.
I buried my face in my pillow, trying to ignore the finality of his words, pretending I hadnt felt his mind withdraw from mine, but it was no use. Despite my nightly pledge that I would not think of him, would not dream of him, and would not wake up crying, I did just that.
At one point I thought there might be hope of a future with Kristoff. That tiny little morsel of hope shriveled up to nothing and wafted away as my body curled itself into a fetal ball, the pain of Kristoffs rejection leaving me racked with sobs as the long hours of the deep night passed into a joyless dawn.
CHAPTER 1
Sorry! I have a cart with a wonky wheel, I said by way of an apology to the woman whose shopping cart I had just bumped into while trying to maneuver my own out the door of the grocery store.
My victim reclaimed the package of toilet paper that bounced out of her cart at the impact, and waved away my apology with a gentle, That happens. Light be with you.
You called me up to tell me you have a wonky shopping cart? An amused voice laughed softly in my ear as I swore under my breath, struggling one-handed to make my cart behave.
No, I called you up because you left a message telling me to call you. Dammit! Im so sorry, sir. It has a mind
of its own. Are you hurt? Oh, good. Ill back up so you can get your shoe from the maw of the beastly thing.
A pleasant-faced young man gave me a somewhat weak smile as he knelt down to wrestle his shoe from under the wheel of the cart, his voice somewhat muffled by his position and the noise of the busy parking lot. Its no problem. Light bless you.
Oh, Pia. Magda laughed even more vigorously, her voice spilling out of the cell phone I clamped between my cheek and shoulder as I fought to shove the cart the few remaining feet to my car. Only you could find such comical happenings at a grocery store.
Well, its partially your fault, I grumbled, giving in as the cart made a sudden swerve and seemed hell-bent on slamming into a sleek crimson Porsche sitting next to my somewhat battle-scarred Hyundai. I hauled the cart backward to my car. The second you called the cart went wild on me, and its impossible to control such a thing with one hand. But it is nice to hear from you.
Likewise. And for the record, I was responding to your message when I called you. Are you stocking up on my behalf?
Yup. Per your request, I have purchased suitable amounts of animal flesh and seafood for my new grill. I promise youre going to go wild over my ginger-garlic scallops.