I find it difficult to sleep, knowing that woman is free in the world.
A sentiment shared wholeheartedly by Eliza.
The upshot was, the girl Elazael must certainly be buried somewhere in the vastness of Apalachicola Forest. There was not an iota of doubt.
At least, not until today.
Eliza, come with me, please.
Dr. Chaudhary. He was rigid. Behind him, Dr. Amhali was worse than rigid. He was livid. He was breathing like a cartoon bull, Eliza thought, her mind taking refuge in inanity even as she understood what must be happening, at long last, after seven years of dreading it.
Oh god, oh god.
Oh godstars.
Another tarot card turned over in her mind and gave that to her. Godstars. It tickled her memory, but she couldnt stop to consider it, not just now. Whats the matter? she asked, but Dr. Chaudhary had already turned and walked away, fully expecting her to follow. And they were in the middle of nowhere, in a hot, killing land, at the center of a military perimeter. What else could she do?
The cat was out of the bag. The corpses were out of the pit. Karou hadnt even considered this possibility. It felt like a violation, as if her home had been invaded.
Some home , she thought. She had been deeply miserable here. It was a chapter of her life she had no wish to revisit, and yet she couldnt help circling nearer, peering down at the figures moving beneath her. She passed in front of the sun and saw her own shadowtiny with distancehover and flitter like a dark moth among the folk down below. She could disguise herself, but not her shadow, and someonea young black womancaught sight of it and looked up. Karou
moved back, drawing her shadow-moth away with her.
She could smell the rankness of the chimaera corpses even from up here. This was bad. Her whole plan of avoiding a conflict that would pit demons against angels was up in smoke. Or rather, stupidly, not up in smoke. I should have burned them, she told Akiva, whose presence she felt by her side as heat and the stir of wingbeats. What was I thinking?
I can burn them now, he offered.
No, she said, after a pause. That would be worse. If all the corpses were to suddenly combust? No matter that it was seraphim who commanded the fire to do such a thing, it would look infernal. Theres no undoing this. We just get on with it.
He didnt answer right away, and his silence was heavy. It was a mercy they couldnt see each other, because Karou was afraid of the pain she would find in Akivas eyes, as they moved further into their purpose here, obeying their heads and not their hearts. They would return to Eretz when they had done their part here, and not before. And what would they find when they did?
There was an odd feeling of half death settling over her with the realization that the best they could hope for now was not very much at all, even if they succeeded here and drove Jael, weaponless, back to Eretz. What then, for themselves? There wasnt even a future of tithing and bruises now, life squeezed in around the edges, and stolen tastes of cake to sweeten a difficult life. Cake for later, cake as a way of life. All of that was gone, smothered by a falling sky, shadows chased by fire: an enemy that was, simply, as Karou had known all along, too great to defeat.
How had she managed to hope otherwise?
Akiva. He had persuaded her. A look from him, and shed found herself ready to believe in the impossible. It was a good thing that she couldnt see him now. If his belief had kindled hers so completely, what would the sight of his despair do to her, or hers to him? She thought of the despair that had surged through them all in the cave and wondered: Had it been Akivas own? Did such darkness exist in him?
How? he asked. How do we find Jael?
How? That was the easy part. Bless Earth for telecom. All they needed was Internet access and an outlet to charge their phones so she could call some contacts. Mik and Zuze would probably like to let their families know they were okay, too. The two of them were on the ground now with Virko, a couple of miles away, hiding in the shadow of a rock formation. Even in the shade it was dangerously hot. Deadly hot, in fact, and they needed water. Food, too. Beds.
Karous heart hurt. Contemplating even these bare thresholds of life felt like unspeakable luxury. But its a different matter to take care of loved ones needs than it is to take care of ones own, and for that reason she considered seeking food and rest. Zuzana hadnt spoken a word since they came through the portal. Her first close encounter with all this war stuff had taken a toll on her, and the rest of them werent much better off.
Theres a place we can go, Karou told Akiva. Lets go get the others.
46
PIE AND DANDELIONS
How could you think how could you think I would do this?
Eliza was aghast. It was so much worse than shed feared. Shed guessed that Dr. Chaudhary had found out who she was, and oh, he had, but that wasnt the extent of it, and this this
It could only be the work of that weasel, Toth. No. Weasel did not begin to express the depravity of Morgan Toth now.