She would know what they were.
In the spinning of her mind, her exhaustion and anxiety and the weight of the dream still perched on her shoulderlike a carrion bird, biding its timeher thoughts kept flipping around to face her. It was like chasing someone, all out, and then just at the moment you reach out to catch them, they whirl on you, savage, and grab you by the throat.
She would find out what the angels were. That was Eliza in control of her thoughts. She would find out, the way she was trained to find out. Nucleotides in sequence, and the world and the universe and the future would all fall neatly into sense. Phylogeny. Order. Sanity.
Then the thought spun around and seized her, forced her to look at it, and it wasnt what shed thought she was chasing. It had madness in its eyes.
It wasnt: I will know what the angels are.
What Eliza was really thinking was: Will I know what I am?
27
JUST CREATURES IN A WORLD
When Karou joined Zuzana, Mik, and Issa, she discovered that theyd been busy while she was in the war council: preparing the space, unpacking the trays, cleaning and sorting teeth. Zuzana had even taken a stab at laying out some necklacesstill unstrung, pending Karous inspection.
These are good, said Karou after careful study.
Will they work? asked Zuzana.
Karou looked them over further. This is Uthem? she asked, indicating the first. A row of horse and iguana teeth with tubes of bat bonedoubled, for the two sets of wingsalong
with iron and jade for size and grace.
I figured he was a given, said Zuzana.
Karou nodded. Thiago would need Uthem to ride into battle. You have a knack for this, she told her friend. The necklace wasnt perfect, but it was pretty closeand pretty amazing considering how little experience Zuzana had.
Yep. No false humility from Zuze. Now you just have to teach me the magic to actually translate them to flesh.
Dont tempt me, Karou said with a dark laugh.
What?
Theres this story where a man is fated to serve as ferryman across the river of the dead for eternity. Theres one catch, only he doesnt know it. All he has to do is hand his pole to someone else, and he hands them his fate, too.
And youre going to hand me your pole? asked Zuzana.
No. I am not going to hand you my pole.
How about we share it? Zuzana proposed.
Karou shook her head, in exasperation and wonder. Zuze, no. You have a life to live
And presumably I will be living while helping you?
Yes, but
So lets see here. I can either do the most amazing, astonishing, unbelievable, magical thing that anyone has ever heard of ever and, after all this war stuff is all over, help you resurrect a whole population of women and children and, like, build a race of creatures back to life, at the beginning of a new era for a world no one else even knows exists. Or I can go home and do puppet shows for tourists.
Karou felt a smile twitch her lips. Well, when you put it like that. She turned to Mik. Do you have something to say about this?
Yes, he said, seriousand not mock-serious, but serious -serious. I say lets discuss the future later, after all this war stuff, as Zuze put it, when we know theres going to be a future.
Good point, said Karou, and turned toward the thuribles.
Best-case scenario was a dozen resurrections, and that was pretty optimistic. The question was: Who? Who are the lucky souls today? Karou pondered, and as she sifted through the thuribles, she started a yes pile, a maybe pile, and an oh Jesus, you stay dead pile. No more Lisseths in this rebellion, and no more Razors with his sack of spreading stains. She wanted soldiers with honor, who could embrace the new purpose and not fight against it at every turn. There were a handful of obvious choices, but she hesitated over them, contemplating how they would be received.
Balieros, Ixander, Minas, Viya, and Azay. Ziris former patrolthe soldiers who had defied the true Wolfs order to slaughter seraph civilians, flying instead to the Hintermost to die defending their own folk. They were strong, competent, and respected, but they had disobeyed the Wolfs order. Would their resurrection seem suspicious, another tick mark in a growing column of Things Thiago Would Never Do?
Maybe, but Karou wanted them; shed take the blame. She wanted Amzallag and the Shadows That Live, too, but she knew that would be a push too far. She kept their thurible apart, a kind of totem for a brighter day. She would give them their lives back as soon as she could.
Balieross team she put in the yes pile. There was a sixth soul with them. Brushing against her senses, it felt like a knife of light through trees, and though it was unfamiliar to Karou, she remembered Ziri telling her about the young Dashnag boy whod joined their fight and died alongside the others.
It made no sense to choose an untrained boy as one of a mere dozen resurrections before a battle like the one ahead, but Karou did it anyway, with a feeling of defiance. Resurrectionists choice, she imagined herself telling Lisseth, or, as she now thought of the poisonous Naja woman: future cow . You have a problem with that? Anyway, the Dashnag wouldnt be a boy anymore. Karou didnt have juvenile teeth, and even if she did, this was no time for youth. So he was going to wake up and find himself alive, fully grown, and winged, in a remote cave in the company of revenants and seraphim.