Blake looked away, eyes squinting at the sky. Thats not something Im ready to talk about, Katy. He shut the door and jogged off toward his car.
I sat there for several minutes, staring out the window, not really seeing anything. Daemon muttered something under his breath and then opened his door, disappearing into the shadows surrounding the diner. Hed left me.
I didnt even remember the trip home. Pulling into the driveway, I killed the engine and sat back, closing my eyes. Night seeped into my silent car. I got out, took a step, and heard my porch steps groan.
Daemon had beaten me home. He came down the steps, his baseball cap hiding his eyes.
I shook my head. Daemon
I dont trust him. I dont trust a damn thing about him, Kat. He took off his hat, thrust his fingers through his hair, and then slammed the cap back down. He comes out of nowhere and knows everything . Every instinct is telling me he cant be trusted. He could be anyone, working for any organization. We dont know anything about him.
I know. Suddenly, I was just so freaking tired. All I wanted to do was lay down. But at least this way we can keep an eye on him. Right?
He gave a short, dry laugh. There are other ways of dealing with him.
What? My voice rose and was carried away by the wind. Daemon, you cant be thinking
I dont even know what Im thinking. He took a step back. And dammit, my head is so not in the right place at this moment. There was a pause. Why were you with him in the first place?
My heart lurched. We were grabbing something to eat and I was
You were what?
Somehow I felt like Id walked into an even bigger trap. Unsure of how to answer, I didnt say anything. That was my biggest mistake.
Understanding dawned, and he tipped his chin up. For an instant, the green of his eyes darkened with raw emotion. You went to Bryon after
After Id spent the night with himwrapped in his arms. I shook my head, needing him to understand why I went to see Blake. Daemon
You know, Im not really surprised. His smile was half knowing and half bitter. We kissed. Twice. You spent the night using me as your own body pillowand liking it. Im sure that had you freaking out the moment I left. You ran straight to Boris, because he really doesnt make you feel anything. And feeling something for me scares the hell out of you.
My mouth snapped close. I did not run straight to Blake . He texted me about getting something to eat, and it wasnt even a date, Daemon. I went to tell him
Then what was it, Kitten? He stepped forward, peering down at me. He obviously likes you. Youve kissed him before. Hes willing to risk his own safety to train you.
Its not what you think. If youd let me explain
You dont know what I think, he snapped.
Something awful unfurled in my stomach. Daemon
You know, youre unbelievable.
I was sure he didnt mean that in a good way.
The night of your party, when you thought I was messing around with Ash? You were so pissed that you went outside and blew up windows, exposing yourself.
I flinched. All true.
And now youre doingwhat? Messing around with him in between kissing me?
But I like you. The words wouldnt leave my lips. I didnt know why, but I couldnt say them. Not when he was looking at me, full of anger and distrust and, worse yet, disappointment. Im not messing around with him, Daemon! Were just friends. Thats all.
Skepticism drew his lips into a tight line. Im not stupid, Kat.
I didnt say that you were! Irritation spiked, overshadowing the deep ache in my chest. Youre
not giving me a chance to explain anything. As usual, youre acting like a freaking know-it-all and you keep cutting me off!
And as usual, youre a bigger problem than I couldve ever imagined.
Flinching as though Id been slapped, I took a step back. Im not your problem. My voice cracked. Not anymore.
Regret seeped through his anger. Kat
No. I was never your problem in the first place. Anger sped through me like an out-of-control forest fire. And Im sure as hell not your problem now.
The windows in his eyes to all those emotions slammed shut, leaving me trembling in the dark. And I knew. I knew Id hurt him more than I thought possible. Id hurt him in a way much worse than hed ever hurt me.
Hell. Thishe waved his hand around meisnt even important right now. Just forget it.
He was gone before I could even finish my sentence. Stunned, I turned around, but he was nowhere. A pang hit me in the chest and tears filled my eyes as I turned back to my door.
The sudden realization smacked me upside the head.
This whole time, Id been so busy pushing him away, telling him whatever was between us wasnt real. And now that Id realized the depth of what he felt for mewhat I felt for himhe was gone.
Chapter 19
All morning and part of the afternoon, I poked around the house like a zombie. There was this weird throbbing in my chest. My eyes ached as if they were filled with tears that wouldnt fall. It reminded me of the months after Dads death.
With my heart not really in it, I did a quick review on this dystopian novel Id read last week and closed my laptop. Lying down, I stared at the spider web of cracks in my bedroom ceiling. The truth was hard to face. Id been trying to deny it all morning. A jumbled knot of clogged emotions had formed under my ribs last night and it was still there. Every so often it seemed heavier, more intense.