I gave Michael a sharp look and trusted that hed be able to read me well enough for it to be effective, even in the dark.
Michael got the message. Care to join us? he asked Dean, overly politely.
No, Dean replied, just as politely. Thank you. He paused, and the silence swelled around us. You two have a good night.
As Dean disappeared back into the house, I couldnt help feeling that Id taken something from himthe place he came to think, the moment wed shared the night hed shown me the black lights.
Truth or
dare. Michaels voice cut into my thoughts.
What?
Your turn, Michael told me. Truth or dare?
Truth.
Michael reached out to push my wet hair out of my face. If Lia had dared you to kiss me, would you have done it?
Lia wouldnt have dared me to kiss you.
But if she had?
I could feel heat rising in my cheeks. It was just a game, Michael.
Michael leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. Then he pulled back and studied my face. Whatever he saw there, he liked.
Thank you, he said. Thats all I needed to know.
Were out of ice cream, I said murderously.
True, Lia replied. Shed swapped the silk pajamas for boxer shorts and a ratty T, and there wasnt so much as a hint of remorse on her face.
I blame you, I said.
Also true. Lia studied my face. And unless Im mistaken, youre not just blaming me for the ice cream. And that makes me terribly curious, Cassie. Care to share?
It was impossible to keep a secret in this houselet alone two. First Dean, then Michael. I hadnt signed up for this. If Lia hadnt dared me to kiss Dean, Michael never would have kissed me in the pool, and I wouldnt be in this mess, unsure what I felt, what they felt, what I was supposed to do about it.
No, I said out loud. I was here for one reason and one reason alone. Forget breakfast, I said, slamming the freezer door shut. I have work to do.
I turned to leave, but not before I caught sight of Lia twirling her gleaming black ponytail around her index finger, her dark eyes watching me a little too closely for comfort.
CHAPTER 19
The third shelf from the left was full of blue binders. I picked up the first one and opened it.
FRIEDMAN, THOMAS
OCTOBER 22-28, 1993
FLORIDA STATE PRISON, STARKE, FL
Thomas Friedman. Such a normal-sounding name. Gingerly, I flipped through the transcript: a bare-bones play with a limited cast of characters, no plot, and no resolution. Supervisory Special Agent Cormack Kent was the interviewer. He asked Friedman about his childhood, his parents, his fantasies, the nine women hed strangled with high-sheen dress hose. Reading Friedmans wordsblack ink typed onto the pagewould have been bad enough, but the worst part was that after a few pages, I could hear the way he would have talked about the women hed killed: excitement, nostalgia, longingbut no remorse.
You should sit down.
Id been expecting someone to join me in the library. I hadnt expected that someone to be Lia.
Deans not coming, Lia said. He read those interviews a long time ago.
Have you read them? I asked.
Some, Lia replied. Mostly, Ive heard them. Briggs gives me the audio. I play Spot the Lie. Its a real party.
I realized suddenly that most people my agemost people any agewouldnt be able to take reading these interviews. They wouldnt want to, and they certainly wouldnt lose themselves in it, the way I would. The way I already had . Friedmans interview was horrible and horrifyingbut I couldnt turn off the part of my brain that wanted to understand .
Whats the deal with you and Dean? I asked Lia, forcing myself to think about anything other than the fact that part of me wanted to keep reading. Michael might have told me that he and Lia had hooked upmore than oncebut Dean was the one who could dial her back a notch just by saying her name.
Ive been in love with him since I was twelve. Lia shrugged, like she hadnt just bared her soul to me. And then I realized, she hadnt .
Oh, God, she said, gasping for air between
giggles. You should see your face. Really, Cassie, Im not a fan of incest, and Dean is the closest thing to a brother I have. If I tried to kiss him, he might actually hurl on me.
That was comforting. But the fact that it was comforting just sent me right back into the tailspin from that morning: why should I care if there was anything between Lia and Dean, when Michael was the one whod kissed me of his own free will?
Look, as adorable as watching you angst is, Lia said, take a bit of friendly advice: theres not a person in this house who isnt really, truly, fundamentally screwed up to the depths of their dark and shadowy souls. Including you. Including Dean. Including Michael.
That sounded more like an insult than advice.
Dean would want me to tell you to stay away from him, Lia said.
And Michael? I asked.
Lia shrugged. I want to tell you to stay away from Michael. She paused. I wont, but I want to.
I waited to see if she was finished. She didnt say anything else.
As far as advice goes, that kind of sucked.
Lia executed an elaborate bow. I try. Her eyes flitted back to the binder in my hand. Do me a favor?