So what word am I supposed to use?
Officially, Agent Locke said, we use the term Unknown Subject or UNSUB.
And unofficially? I asked.
Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. If you want to climb inside someones head, he said roughly, you use the word I .
The night before, Id imagined myself in Lias body, imagined what it was like to be her. I could imagine driving this car, parking it like this, climbing outbut this wasnt about cars. Ultimately, I wouldnt be profiling shoppers.
Id be profiling killers.
What if I dont want to be them? I asked. I knew that if I closed my eyes, if I so much as blinked, I would be right back in my mothers dressing room. Id be able to see the blood. Id be able to smell it. What if I cant?
Then youre lucky. Deans voice was quiet, but his eyes were hard. And youd be better off at home.
My stomach twisted. He didnt think I belonged here. Suddenly, it was all too easy to remember that when wed met the day before and hed said nice to meet you, it had been a lie.
Agent Locke set a hand on my shoulder. If you want to get close to an UNSUB, but you dont want to put yourself in their shoes, theres another word you can use.
I turned my back on Dean and focused my full attention on Agent Locke. And what word is that? I asked.
Locke met my gaze. You.
CHAPTER 12
This isnt right. Something about this isnt right .
Fluorescent lights flickered overhead, and on the ground, my shadow flickered, too. At the end of the hallway, there was a metal door, painted
to match the walls. It was slightly ajar, and I wondered if Id left it that way or if my mother had cracked the door open to keep an eye out for me.
Dont go in there. Stop. You have to stop .
I smiled and kept right on walking. One step, two steps, three steps, four. On some level, I knew that this was a dream, knew what I would find when I opened that doorbut I couldnt stop. My body felt numb from the waist down. My smile hurt.
I laid my hand flat against the metal door and pushed.
Cassie?
My mother was standing there, dressed in blue. A breath caught in my throatnot because she was beautiful, though she was, and not because she was on the verge of scolding me for taking so long to report back on the crowd.
A vise closed in around my lungs, because this was wrong. This hadnt happened, and I wished to God it had.
Please dont be a dream. Just this once, let it be real. Dont let it
Cassie? My mom stumbled backward. She fell. Blood turned blue silk red. It splattered against the walls. There was so much of ittoo much.
Shes crawling in it, slipping, but everywhere she goes, the knife is there .
Hands grabbed at her ankles. I turned, trying to see her attackers face, and just like that, my mother was gone and I was back outside the door. My hand pushed it open.
This is how it happened , I thought dully. This is real .
I stepped into the darkness. I felt something wet and squishy beneath my feet, and the smelloh, God, the smell. I scrambled for the light switch.
Dont. Dont turn it on, dont
I woke with a start.
In the bed beside me, Sloane was dead to the world. Id had the dream often enough to know that there was no point in closing my eyes again. I crept quietly out of bed and went to the window. I needed to do somethingto take my cue from the woman Id profiled that morning and run until my body hurt, or to follow in Deans footsteps and take it out on some weights. Then I caught sight of the backyardand more specifically, the pool.
The yard was dimly lit, the water gleaming black in the moonlight. Silently, I grabbed a swimsuit and slipped out of the room without waking Sloane. Minutes later, I was sitting at the edge of the pool. Even in the dead of night, the air was hot. I dangled my legs over the edge.
I lowered myself into the pool. Slowly, the tension left my body. My brain shut off. For a few minutes, I just treaded water, listening to the sounds of the neighborhood at nighttime: crickets and the wind and my hands moving through the water. Then I stoppedstopped treading water, stopped fighting the pull of gravityand let myself sink.
I opened my eyes underwater, but couldnt see anything. There was darkness all around me, and then suddenly, there was a flicker of light at the pools surface.
I wasnt alone.
You dont know that , I told myself, but I saw the faintest blur of motion, and that protest died a quick and brutal death. There was someone up thereand I couldnt stay underwater indefinitely.
Just like that, I felt like I was back in the narrow hallway of my dreams, walking slowly toward something awful.
Its nothing .
Still, I fought the need for air. I wantedirrationallyto stay underwater, where it was safe. But I couldnt. Water plugged my ears, and as my lungs screamed for air, the sound of my own heartbeat surrounded me.
I came up slowly, breaking the surface as quietly as I could. Treading water, I turned in a circle, my eyes scanning the yard for an intruder. At first, I saw nothing. And then I saw a pair of eyes, the moonlight caught in them just so.