PHOEBE (who is sometimes at the spinet and sometimes dancing ). Toes out. So. Chest out. Georgy. Point your toes, Miss Beveridge so. So keep in line; and young ladies, remember your toes. (GEORGY in his desire to please has protruded the wrong part of his person. She writes a C on his chest with chalk. ) C stands for chest, Georgy. This is S.
(MISS SUSAN darts out of the other room. She is less worn than MISS PHOEBE.)whispering so that the pupils may not hear
PHOEBE (almost instantly ). Thirty-one.
MISS SUSAN. I thank you. (She darts off. )
PHOEBE. That will do, ladies and gentlemen. You may go.
(They bow or curtsy, and retire to MISS SUSAN'S room, with the exception of ARTHUR WELLESLEY TOMSON, who is standing in disgrace in a corner with the cap of shame on his head, and ISABELLA, a forbidding-looking, learned little girl . ISABELLA holds up her hand for permission to speak. )
PHOEBE (with a sinking ). Algebra! It it is not a very ladylike study, Isabella.
ISABELLA. Father says, will you or won't you?
PHOEBE. And you are thin. It will make you thinner, my dear.
ISABELLA. Father says I am thin but wiry.
PHOEBE. Yes, you are. (With feeling. ) You are very wiry, Isabella.
ISABELLA. Father says, either I acquire algebra or I go to Miss Prothero's establishment.
PHOEBE. Very well, I I will do my best. You may go.
(ISABELLA goes and PHOEBE sits wearily. )fingering his cap
PHOEBE. Certainly not. Unhappy boy (ARTHUR grins. ) Come here. Are you ashamed of yourself?
ARTHUR (blithely ). No, ma'am.
PHOEBE (in a terrible voice ). Arthur Wellesley Tomson, fetch me the implement. (ARTHUR goes briskly for the cane, and she hits the desk with it. ) Arthur, surely that terrifies you?
ARTHUR. No, ma'am.
PHOEBE. Arthur,
why did you fight with that street boy?
ARTHUR. 'Cos he said that when you caned you did not draw blood.
PHOEBE. But I don't, do I?
ARTHUR. No, ma'am.
PHOEBE. Then why fight him? (Remembering how strange boys are. ) Was it for the honour of the school?
ARTHUR. Yes, ma'am.
PHOEBE. Say you are sorry, Arthur, and I won't punish you.
(He bursts into tears.)
PHOEBE (incredulous ). Do you wish to be caned?
ARTHUR (holding out his hand eagerly ). If you please, Miss Phoebe.
PHOEBE. Unnatural boy. (She canes him in a very unprofessional manner. ) Poor dear boy.
(She kisses the hand.)gloomily
(She is too soft-hearted to follow his instructions.)almost in tears
ARTHUR (remembering that women are strange ). Don't cry, ma'am; I love you, Miss Phoebe.
(She seats him on her knee, and he thinks of a way to please her.)
(PHOEBE shudders, and MISS SUSAN again darts in. She signs to PHOEBE to send ARTHUR away. )as soon as has gone
PHOEBE (instantly ). Eleven.
MISS SUSAN. William Smith says it is fifteen; and he is such a big boy, do you think I ought to contradict him? May I say there are differences of opinion about it? No one can be really sure, Phoebe.
PHOEBE. It is eleven. I once worked it out with real herrings. (Stoutly. ) Susan, we must never let the big boys know that we are afraid of them. To awe them, stamp with the foot, speak in a ferocious voice, and look them unflinchingly in the face. (Then she pales. ) Oh, Susan, Isabella's father insists on her acquiring algebra.
MISS SUSAN. What is algebra exactly; is it those three cornered things?
PHOEBE. It is x minus y equals z plus y and things like that. And all the time you are saying they are equal, you feel in your heart, why should they be.
(The music of the band swells here, and both ladies put their hands to their ears.)
MISS SUSAN. I was not thinking of that. I was thinking that he is to be at the ball to-night; and we have not seen him for ten years.
PHOEBE (calmly ). Yes, ten years. We shall be glad to welcome our old friend back, Susan. I am going in to your room now to take the Latin class.
(A soldier with a girl passes a yokel follows angrily.)
(She returns to her room, and the sound of the music dies away . MISS PHOEBE, who is not a very accomplished classical scholar, is taking a final peep at the declensions when MISS SUSAN reappears excitedly. )
MISS SUSAN (tragically ). William Smith! Phoebe, I tried to look ferocious, indeed I did, but he saw I was afraid, and before the whole school he put out his tongue at me.
PHOEBE. Susan!
(She is lion-hearted; she remembers ARTHUR'S instructions, and practises with the cane. )
SUSAN (frightened ). Phoebe, he is much too big. Let it pass.
PHOEBE. If I let it pass I am a stumbling-block in the way of true education.
MISS SUSAN. Sister.
PHOEBE (grandly ). Susan, stand aside.
(Giving the cane ARTHUR'S most telling flick, she marches into the other room. Then, while MISS SUSAN is listening nervously , CAPTAIN VALENTINE BROWN is ushered in by PATTY. He is bronzed and soldierly. He wears the whiskers of the period, and is in uniform. He has lost his left hand, but this is not at first noticeable. )
MISS SUSAN. Captain Brown!
VALENTINE (greeting her warmly ). Reports himself at home again.