Of course it is! Justin glowered at her. Is that the evidence on which you judge me guilty? His voice lowered ominously. Would you have me sleep in the carriage? Or perhaps the barn? Or common room?
Elizabeths outrage left her in a rush. She eyed him suspiciously. II dont understand.
That is because one must think before one can understand. And you, madam, are not thinking! If you will do so for a moment, you will recall that this marriage is one of convenience. That we have both signed a legally binding document to that effect at my insistence. And that you, madam, have recourse to the law should I ever touch you.
Cold dislike frosted his every word. Elizabeth swallowed hard. Everything he said was true. She cringed inwardly as he continued.
You will also, no doubt recallshould you take a moment to thinkthat I told you earlier I have no desire for intimate contact with you when we are alone. This is, however, a public place, and again, I am known here. It is expected that newly married couples will share a conjugal bed. I have explained that I wish no stigma to attach itself to this marriagethat the truth of our relationship is to be our own private knowledge. With that in mind, perhaps you will be able to understand the necessity of my remaining in this room, not in your bed, for the night hours.
Oh.
Oh, madam? Is that all you have to say? Oh!
Justins frigid glare made icicles seem like cozy flames. Elizabeths stomach started churning like a river in spate. She drew a deep breath to quell the nausea. II beg your pardon. She stared in horror at his furious face. Please forgive me. I did not mean to impugn your honor. I forgot
Forgot? Forgot! Justins voice cracked through the air. Then perhaps you will be able to remember this. After having known my former wife, I have no desire to be emotionally entangled, or romantically involved, with another woman. Any woman! You have my word as a gentleman that I will nevernevertouch you, or try to bed you. You areand you will remainmy wife in name only. I cannot say it more plainly than that!
Before she could respond, he turned on his heel and stormed from the room.
Elizabeth lay on the bed with her cloak pulled closely around her for warmth and watched the firelight playing with the shadows on the rough wood ceiling above. What had she done? He was so angry! And rightfully so. All that he had said was true. Oh, if only she had thought, instead of reacting so violently to the sight of those bags. Yet, when she had remembered
Elizabeth shuddered and closed her mind to the thought. She climbed from the bed and walked over to stand with her ear pressed to the door. For some minutes she stood listening to the indistinguishable murmur of voices from the other room, but she could not tell if Justin Randolph was there. What if he had gone? What if she had made him so angry he had left her? What would she do?
The memory of the proprietors leering face caused the trembling to begin again. Elizabeth backed away from the door and went to sit on the edge of the bed. A burst of muffled laughter reached her through the door and, suddenly, the crushing weight of all she had been through pressed down upon her. Uncontrollable sobs shook her slender frame and hot tears poured from her eyes as she grieved for the mother and father she had never had. Always, they had kept her at a distance, treated her as an unwelcome intrusion in their lives. Yet, through it all she had clung to the hope that someday
Elizabeth wrenched her mind from the thought and sank back onto the mattress. Not even to herself would she admit how desperately she had hoped that one day her parents might love her in return. That hope was dead. And so was the dream. Her someday dream. She sighed, pulled her cloak around her shivering body, and stared at the ceiling. The someday dream had been her comfort when the loneliness and pain of her parents rejection were too intense to be borne. It had given her hope. She had conceived it out of the unarticulated yearnings of innocence and youth, and fed it with her need for tenderness and laughter, gentleness and love. She had shared it with no one, carrying it deep inside where it could be nurtured and kept safe. Now it was gonedestroyed before it had been birthedaborted by her mothers words. All that was left was emptiness. Her dream would never have a face or a voice. Now she knew there was no one like her someone.
They are all alikethey are all alikethey are all alike. Sobs
racked Elizabeths body as her mothers voice chanted the litany of death in her mind and Reginalds cruel face, distorted by lust, leered at her out of the darkness. With her last bit of strength she reached up and clutched the brooch that was fastened to the bodice of her gown, then, too exhausted to fight any longer, she closed her eyes, breathed a long tremulous sigh of surrender, and yielded to the oblivion of sleep.
A trace of tears was on Elizabeths face when Justin returned. His anger dissolved as he stood looking down at her. She was so youngso helplesssovulnerable. Compassion tugged at his heart. He spun on his heel and stalked to the fireplace. Sparks flew up the chimney as he added logs to the fire. He watched until the logs started to flame, then dusted his hands, picked up the bundle of lap rugs and spread them on the floor. He pulled a chair close, sat down and began removing his boots.