ESOPHAGUS, n. That part of the alimentary canal that lies between pleasure and business.
ESOTERIC, adj. Very particularly abstruse and consummately occult. The ancient philosophies were of two kinds, exoteric , those that the philosophers themselves could partly understand, and esoteric, those that nobody could understand. It is the latter that have most profoundly affected modern thought and found greatest acceptance in our time.
ESSENTIAL, adj. Pertaining to the essence , or that which determines the distinctive character of a thing. Persons who, because they do not know the English language, are driven to the unprofitable vocation of writing for American newspapers, commonly use this word in the sense of necessary , as, "April rains are essential to June harvests."
ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots, and ethnologists.
EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi.
A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
EULOGY, n. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation, and the damnation of our neighbors.
EVERLASTING, adj. Lasting forever. It is with no small diffidence that I venture to offer this brief and elementary definition, for I am not unaware of the existence of a bulky volume by the Rt. Rev. Dr. Sprowle, sometime Bishop of Worcester, entitled, A Partial Definition of the Word "Everlasting" as Used in the Authorised Version of the Holy Scriptures. His book was once esteemed of great authority in the Anglican Church, and is still, I understand, studied with pleasure to the mind and profit to the soul.
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc. "The exception proves the rule" is an expression constantly upon the lips of the ignorant, who parrot it from one another with never a thought of its absurdity. In the Latin, "Exceptio probat regulam " means that the exception tests the rule, puts it to the proof, not confirms meaning from this excellent dictum and substituted a contrary one of his own, exerted an evil power which appears to be immortal.
EXCESS, n. In morals, an indulgence that enforces by appropriate penalties the law of moderation.
Gat Huckle,
EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them mischievous and of no effect. Following is an extract from an old book entitled, The Lunarian Astonished
Pfeiffer & Co., Boston, 1803:
"Lunarian: Then when your Congress has passed a law it goes directly to the Supreme Court in order that it may at once be known whether it is constitutional.
"Terrestrian: O no; it does not require the approval of the Supreme Court until having perhaps been enforced for many years somebody objects to its operation against himself I mean his client. The President, if he approves it, begins to execute it at once.
"Lunarian: Then the executive power is a part of the legislative. Do your policemen also have to approve the local ordinances that they enforce?
"Terrestrian: Not yet at least not in their capacity of constables. Generally speaking though, all laws require the approval of those whom they are intended to restrain.
"Lunarian: Ah, I see. The death warrant is not valid until signed by the murderer.
"Terrestrian: My friend, you put it too strongly; we are not so consistent.
"Lunarian: But this system of maintaining an expensive judicial machinery to pass upon the validity of laws only after they have long been executed, and then only when brought before the court by some private person does it not cause great confusion?
"Terrestrian: It does.