I takes off my hat, wipes my shoes well, and goes up; and there she was waiting, and smiled so pleasantly again, and held out her hand to me, as though Id been a friend, instead of a rough, weather-battered street cabman. And do you know what I did, as I went in there, with my eyes all dim at seeing her so, so changed? Why, I felt as if I ought to do it, and I knelt down and took her beautiful white hand in mine, and kissed it, and left a big tear on it; for something seemed to say so plainly that shed soon be where I hoped my own poor gal was, whom I always say we lost; but my wife says, No, not lost, for she is ours still.
She was so light now, that I carried her down in a minute; and when she was in the cab and saw the wilets, she took em down, and held em in her hand, and nodded and smiled again at me, as though she thanked me for them.
Go the same way as you went first time, Stephen, she says.
And I pushed over all the quieter bits, and took her out beyond Hampstead; and there, in the greenest and prettiest spot I could find, I pulls up, and sits there listening to the soft whispers of her voice, and feeling, somehow, that it was for the last time.
After a bit I goes gently on again, more and more towards the country, where the hedges were turning beautiful and green, and all looked so bright and gay.
Bimeby I stops again, for there was a pretty view, and you could see miles away. Of course, I didnt look at them if I could help it, for the real secret of people enjoying a ride is being with a driver who seems no more to em than the horse a man, you see, who knows his place. But I couldnt help just stealing one or two looks at the inside where that poor gal lay back in the corner, looking out at the bright spring-time, and holding them two bunches o wilets close to her face. I was walking backwards and forwards then, patting the horse and straightening his harness, when I just catches the old ladys eye, and saw she looked rather frightened, and she leans over to her daughter and calls her by name quickly; but the poor girl did not move, only stared straight out at the blue sky, and smiled so softly and sweetly.
I didnt want no telling what to do, for I was in my seat and the old horse flying amost before you could have counted ten; and away we went, full pace, till I come up to a doctors, dragged at the bell, and had him up to the cab in no time; and then he rode on the footboard of the cab, in front of the apron, with the shutters let down; and he whispered to me to drive back softly, and I did.
The old lady has lodged with us ever since, for I took a better place on purpose, and my missus always attends on her. Shes werry fond o talking with my wife about their two gals who have gone before; but though I often, take her for a drive over the old spots, she never says a word to me about such things; while soon after the funeral she told Sarah to tell me as the wilets were not taken from the poor gals hand, same time sending me a fi-pun note to buy a suit o mourning.
Of course, I couldnt wear that every day, but there was a bit o rusty crape on my old shiny hat not such a werry long time ago;
and I never buy wilets now, for as they lie in the baskets in spring-time, sprinkled with the drops o bright water, they seem to me to have tears upon em, and make me feel sad and upset, for they start me off thinking about My Fare.
Chapter Nine. Spots on Lifes Sun
yourThats a rum game, youll say. Very good; so it is; and when the things showed up, where am I? stole the vegetables, assaulted Frank Brown, insulted and abused his wife, and plundered his house. What would Mr Payne, or Mr Bodkin, or Mr Knox say to me, eh? Why, of course, I must serve my time in gaol to make amends. But thats what I cant understand, and I want to know why I maynt do it retail, when my betters do it wholesale. Here we are: heres the King of Prussia turned out the King of Hanover and his wife, and, I spose, some more of em; and I mean to say its precious hard; and then again hes been thrashing the Austrians, as perhaps deserved it, and perhaps didnt, while no end of homes have been made desolate, and thousands upon thousands of Gods creatures slaughtered, let alone the tens of thousands as have been mutilated and will bear the marks of the battles to their graves. Ah! Ive sat aside a man as was on the battle-fields, and heard him describe the glory of the war, the anguish of the wounded, the fearful distortion of the dead, the smashed horses, and, above all, that horrible slaughterhouse stench of blood that fouled the air with its sickening, disease-bringing, cholera-sowing taint. And then the King says Hurray, and they sing the Te Deum.
There, I suppose Im very ignorant, but I cant understand it at all; and in my simple fancy it seems blasphemous. Say we had an invading army coming against us same as in the days of good Queen Bess and we drive em off. Those who fall do it in defence of their country, and die like heroes; well, then, lets sing the Te Deum, and thank Him for letting us gain the victory. Say we go to help an oppressed country fairly and honestly. Good again lets return thanks; but when its for the sake of getting land, and for more conquest, why, then, if it must be done, the less that is said afterwards the better. And besides they must be having a grand festival, and bring fifty of the prettiest maidens in the city to meet the King and present him with laurel wreaths. Better have taken him crape bands for the hats of all his party, and to distribute amongst the fatherless! Some pictures there were in the lustrated papers, too, of the laurel-crowned damsels, and the grand religious festival with panoply and priests; but the artist gave one grim rub to the whole thing one as tells, too for here and there, in undress uniform, he sketched out wan-looking men with their arms in slings, or limping with sticks, crippled perhaps for life; and then no doubt theyll give you some of their ideas of glorious war. Illuminations, too, under the Lindens at Berlin; grand enough, no doubt; but it seems as though the heavens wept to see it, for the rains streaming down at a fine rate.