look, even causing disgust, the good thought somehow evaporated of itself, and so Pseldonymov remained without a bonus. The greater was his amazement when this same Pseldonymov, not more than a week ago, put in a request to get married. 14Ivan Ilyich remembered that he had somehow had no time to occupy himself with the matter more thoroughly, so that the matter of the wedding had been decided lightly, hastily. But all the same he remembered with precision that Pseldonymov was taking his bride together with a wooden house and four hundred roubles in cash; this circumstance had surprised him then; he remembered even cracking a light joke about the encounter of the names Pseldonymov and Mlekopitaev. He clearly recalled it all.
As he went on recollecting, he fell to thinking more and more. It is known that whole trains of thought sometimes pass instantly through our heads, in the form of certain feelings, without translation into human language, still less literary language. But we shall attempt to translate all these feelings of our heros and present the reader if only with the essence of these feelings, with what, so to speak, was most necessary and plausible in them. Because many of our feelings, when translated into ordinary language, will seem perfectly implausible. That is why they never come into the world, and yet everybody has them. Naturally, Ivan Ilyichs feelings and thoughts were a bit incoherent. But you know the reason why.
What then! flashed in his head. So we all talk and talk, but once it gets to business, only a fig comes out. Heres an example, this very same Pseldonymov: hes just come from the church, all excited, all hopeful, expecting to taste This is one of the most blissful days of his life Now hes busy with the guests, giving a feastmodest, poor, but merry, joyful, sincere What, then, if he knew that at this very moment I, I, his superior, his chief superior, am standing right here by his house and listening to his music! But how, in fact, would it be with him? No, how would it be with him if I should suddenly up and walk in now? hm Naturally, hed be frightened at first, numb with bewilderment. Id be interfering with him, Id probably upset everything Yes, thats how it would be if any other general walked in, but not I Heres the thing, that any other, only not I
Yes, Stepan Nikiforovich! You didnt understand me just now, but heres a ready example for you.
Yes, sir. We all shout about humaneness, but heroism, a great deed, that were not capable of.
What kind of heroism? This kind. Just consider: given the present-day relations between all members of society, for me, for me to come after midnight to the wedding of my subordinate, a registrar, who makes ten roublesafter all, this is bewilderment, this is a turnabout of ideas, the last day of Pompeii, 15bedlam! No one will understand it. Stepan Nikiforovich would die before he understood it. Didnt he say: we wont hold out. Yes, but thats you old people, people of paralysis and stagnation, but I will hold out! Ill turn the last day of Pompeii into the sweetest day for my subordinate, and a wild act into a normal, patriarchal, lofty and e-thi-cal one. How? Like this. Be so good as to listen
Well here I am, suppose, going in: theyre amazed, interrupt their dancing, stare wildly, back away. Right, sir, but here I show myself: I go straight to the frightened Pseldonymov and, with the tenderest smile, in the simplest words possible, say: Thus and so, I say, I was visiting His Excellency Stepan Nikiforovich. I suppose you know, its here in the neighborhood Here I tell, lightly, in some amusing way, the adventure with Trifon. From Trifon I pass on to how I went by foot WellI hear music, I ask a policeman, and find out that you, brother, are getting married. Why dont I stop at my subordinates, I think, to see how my clerks make merry and get married. Now, youre not going to drive me out, I suppose! Drive out! What a phrase for a subordinate. The devil hell drive me out! I think hell lose his mind, hell rush headlong to sit me in an armchair, hell tremble with delight, he wont even know what to make of it at first!
Well, what could be simpler, more gracious, than such an act! Why did I come? Thats another question! Thats, so to speak, the moral side of the matter. Theres where the juice is!
Hm What was I thinking about? Ah, yes!
So then, of course, theyll seat me next to the most important guest, some titular councillor, or a relative, a retired staff captain with a red nose Gogol described these originals nicely. So, naturally, I make the acquaintance of the bride, praise her, encourage the guests. I beg them not to be embarrassed, to make merry, to go on dancing, I
joke, I laugh, in shortIm amiable and charming. Im always amiable and charming when Im pleased with myself. Hm the thing is that I still seem to be a bit that is, not drunk, but just
Naturally, being a gentleman, Im on an equal footing with them and by no means demand any special tokens But morally, morally its another matter: theyll understand and appreciate My act will resurrect in them all the nobility of And so I sit there for half an hour Even an hour. Ill leave, naturally, just before supper, otherwise theyll start bustling about, baking, frying, theyll bow low before me, but Ill just drink a glass, congratulate them, and decline supper. Ill say: business. And as soon as I pronounce business, their faces will all become respectfully stern at once. By this Ill delicately give a reminder that they and I aredifferent, sirs. Earth and sky. Not that Id want to impose it, but its needed even in the moral sense its necessary, whatever you say. However, Ill smile at once, even laugh, perhaps, and everyone will instantly cheer up Ill joke once more with the bride; hm and even this: Ill hint that Ill come again in exactly nine months as a godfather, heh, heh! And shell certainly give birth by then. Because they multiply like rabbits. So everyone bursts out laughing, the bride blushes; I kiss her on the forehead with feeling, even bless her, and tomorrow my deed is already known in the office. Tomorrow Im stern again, tomorrow Im demanding again, even implacable, but by now they all know who I am. They know my soul, they know my essence: Hes stern as a superior, but as a man hes an angel! And so Im victorious; Ive caught them with some one small act that wouldnt even occur to you; theyre mine now; Im the father, theyre the children Go on, Stepan Nikiforovich, Your Excellency, try doing something like that