Every one was armed to the teeth; and on the occasion I am about to speak of, the word was passed that all the helpers on shore should come prepared for resistance, in case of being molested. We took in our cargo, consisting of silks, laces, tea, and other valuable commodities, at Cherbourg, and made the land just before sunset. We stood in at once, and found the spotsman at his post, with a signal that all was clear. The night was pitchy dark, though calm; and, except the signals, not a light was shown. About fifty men were stationed on shore, to carry the things inland.
We set to work as fast as possible getting the things into the boats, and all went on well for some time. I, with some others, in one of the boats, had left the cutter, when a pistol was flashed from the shore as a signal for us to return; but, before we had pulled many strokes, there was a rapid discharge of fire-arms, while loud shouts, oaths, and cries arose: torches were kindled, and by their light we could see our friends on shore mixed in a hot fight with a number of red-coats.
As soon as we made out what was going forward, we pulled back as fast as we could to the vessel, to put the bales into her, intending to return to assist our people; but, before we reached her, a splash of oars was heard close to us, and in a moment a large boat was alongside our galley. At the same time, a loud voice ordered us to surrender; but, as we were not the chaps to do that in a hurry, our coxswain drew his pistol, and fired it towards the boat. A deep groan was the answer, and immediately other pistols were fired on each side. By the flashes we saw a number of men, their cutlasses shining brightly, about to spring into our boat; but, at the same time, we knew that we must beat them or die. They were brave fellows, and would, perhaps, have taken us all; but we were fighting with halters round our necks; for after the resistance we had offered, we knew that, if made prisoners, we should be hung. They had already cut down two or three of our people, when another of our boats came up, and attacked them on the other side. There was now little chance for them: we dared not save them if we would. They fought bravely to the last every one of them was killed.
They were countrymen, and were only doing their duty. That nights work, sir, weighed like lead upon my conscience, till other crimes drove the thoughts of it out, and my heart became seared. It is only now that I am about to quit the world that my conscience is roused up. It is very terrible, sir. My life seems a dreadful dream; and I cannot even now believe that I am to die to-morrow to go where I have already sent so many others, not more fit to die than I am. It is too much to think of. I wonder what sort of a place I shall be in to-morrow at this time! he suddenly exclaimed, after a long silence.
You must trust in the mercy of One who is all merciful, I answered, and repent of your crimes, and then be assured, as was the thief on the cross, you will be forgiven.
I wish I thought it might be so, sir, he observed, but I have been too wicked too great a reprobate for pardon; and he he knows better! that ghastly figure there! he shakes his head, and grins at me, mocking at the very idea of it! Oh, that I could have another spell of life to get free of him! Is there any chance of being let off? he asked, with sudden animation.
Not the slightest, I answered. Do not for a moment indulge in such a hope.
Well, sir, well perhaps it is best as it is. I have thought a good deal about death
since I lay wounded, and have made up my mind to the worst. My life has long been a burden to me; but it is the future the future which makes me tremble; and then that dreadful ghost-like figure unnerves me. Off with you off! he shrieked out. Leave me for this once at rest!
The Spaniards, aroused by his cries, scowled fiercely on him, and cursing him for a noisy madman, again sank back upon the stone floor. After being silent for a minute, he appeared to have perfectly recovered his senses, and continued
I will go on, sir, with what I was telling you about I want to get it off my mind. Well, after we had killed the people in the revenue boat, we hove the things into the cutter, and pulled again to the shore to assist our friends. It was fortunate for them that we did so, for the soldiers had come down in great numbers, and completely got the better of them. Some were made prisoners, numbers were either killed outright or desperately wounded, and the remainder were fighting hand-to-hand for their lives, close down to the waters edge. Some of the best men were with us. We were fresh and desperate; so, managing to drive back the soldiers for a minute, by a furious charge, before they again came on, we covered the retreat of the rest to the boats, and then followed ourselves. In a moment they were afloat, and we were pulling off from the shore. Several volleys were fired at us without doing us any mischief, and we could see the soldiers, by the flashes of their pistols, galloping up and down along the beach, in search of those of our friends who were trying to escape. About twenty of our people got off, but of course all the things, except a few we had on board, were lost, and we vowed vengeance against whomever had betrayed us. We all took a dreadful oath to that effect, which we most fearfully fulfilled. Oh! I wish that it had been broken.