Consequently, Mary Andrews was a little better dressed and better educated than the general run of girls about there; and there was something about her face that used, in its quiet earnestness, to set me anxiously watching her all the time she was teaching, till I used to wake up of a sudden to the fact that the boys in my class were all at play, when, flushing red all over the face, I used to leave off staring over to the girls part of the big school-room, and try to make up for lost time.
I cant tell you when it began, but at that time I used somehow to associate Mary Andrews pale innocent face with everything I did. Every blow I drove into a coal-seam with my sharp pick used to be industry for Marys sake. Of an evening, when I washed off the black and tidied up my hair, it used to be so that she might not be ashamed of me if we met; and even every time I made my head ache with some calculation out of my arithmetic ten times as difficult because I had no one to help me I used to strive and try on till I conquered, because it was all for Marys sake.
Not that I dared to have told her so, I thought, but somehow the influence of Mary used to lift me up more and more, till I should no more have thought of going to join the other pitmen in a public-house than of trying to fly.
It was about this time that I got talking to a young fellow about my age who worked in my shift. John Kelsey his name was, and I used to think it a pity that a fine clever fellow like he was, handsome, stout, and strong, should be so fond of the low habits, dog-fighting and wrestling, so popular amongst our men, who enjoyed nothing better than getting over to Sheffield or Rotherham for what they called a days sport, which generally meant unfitness for work during the rest of the week.
Well, said John, your ways seem to pay you, and he laughed and went away; and I thought no more of it till about a month after, when I found out that I was what people who make use of plain simple language call in love, and Ill tell you how I found it out.
I was going along one evening past old Andrews house, when the door opened for a moment as if some one was coming out, but, as if I had been seen, it was closed directly. In that short moment, though, I had heard a laugh, and that laugh I was sure was John Kelseys.
I felt on fire for a few moments, as I stood there unable to move, and then as I dragged myself away the feeling that came over me was one of blank misery and despair. I could have leaned my head up against the first wall I came to and cried like a child; but that feeling passed off to be succeeded by one of rage. For, as the blindness dropped from my eyes, I saw clearly that not only did I dearly love Mary Andrews love her with all a strong mans first love, such a love as one would feel who had till now made his sole companions of his books but that I was forestalled, that John Kelsey was evidently a regular visitor there, and, for aught I knew to the contrary, was her acknowledged lover.
I did not like playing the spy; but, with a faint feeling of hope on me that I might have been mistaken, I walked back past the house, and there was no mistake, John Kelseys head was plainly enough to be seen upon the blind, and I went home in despair.
How I looked forward to the next Sunday, half resolved to boldly tell Mary of my love, and to ask her whether
and then she ran towards the pits mouth where I was.
Theres no one belonging to you down, is there? I asked her.
Oh yes yes! my father was down, and John Kelsey.
As she said the first words, I felt ready for anything; but as she finished her sentence, a cold chill came over me, and she saw the change, and looked at me in a strange, half-angry way.
Here comes the cage up, I said, trying hard to recover myself, and going up to the bank by her side; but when half-a-dozen scorched and blackened men stepped out, and we looked at their disfigured faces, poor Mary gave a low wail of misery, and I head her say, softly, Oh, father! father! father!
It went right to my heart to hear her bitter cry, and I caught hold of her hand.
Dont be down-hearted, Mary, I said huskily; theres hope yet.
Her eyes flashed through her tears, as she turned sharply on me; and pressing her hand for a moment, I said, softly, Try and think more kindly of me, Mary. And then I turned to the men.
Now, then, whos going down?
You cant go down, shouted half-a-dozen voices; the choke got most the better of us.
But there are two men down! I cried, savagely. Youre not all cowards, are you?
Three men stepped forward, and we got in the cage.
Who knows where Andrews was? I cried; and a faint voice from one of the injured men told me. Then I gave the warning, and we were lowered down; it having been understood that at the first signal we made we were to be drawn up sharply.
The excitement kept me from being frightened; but there was a horrid feeling of oppression in the air as we got lower and lower, and twice over the men with me were for being drawn up.