I could speak at last though, even if it was but in a whisper; and in those long hours, as she sat by my bed, all reserve was cast aside; and, speaking as one who only looked upon things as they might have been, I told her how I loved her, and how I had kept away, believing that she would be happier with John Ross.
I learnt now of his pettiness, of the way in which he had defamed me; but let that pass. I could forgive him all since I learned that he had never gained entrance to the little heart beating by my side. I learned, too, of Jennys suspicions, aroused by a purchase she had seen the young man make, at a shop in the town, one day when she was not perceived; but I would not have the thought harboured, for I bore him no malice then. And at last I groaned again, and the weak tears forced themselves into my poor smarting eyes as the thought would come of what might have been,
I shall lose my leg? he said, anticipating my words.
I will try and save it, I replied, but you must be prepared for amputation at any moment.
All right doctor, he said, Im in your hands. I wont grumble. If you do take it off, though, and it dont kill me, Ill see if I cant contrive something better than those old wooden legs, that some fellows peg about on.
Well well see, I said, and if youll look at matters in that cheerful way perhaps we shall get on.
I saved that mans leg: for a more patient fellow under suffering it was impossible to find, and in the course of various conversations with him, we talked of strikes and outrages, and the various trade disputes, and by degrees he talked about himself and his experiences over similar affaire.
Ah! he said, some men can always make plenty of friends without taking any trouble, and some can make plenty of enemies in the same way; and that last seems to have been my luck through life. I suppose as an ordinary mechanic Im not such a very bad sort, and Ill tell you why: after about a dozen years of married life theres always a pleasant smile to welcome me home a sweet look that I always answer with a grin which spreads all over my rough, dirty face till it gets lost on each side in my whiskers, and up a-top in my hair. Then, too, for all Im a big, grim-looking fellow, as my mates call Sour Sam, the little ones never seem a bit frightened of me; but one comes and gets hold of my cap, and another my coat, and one come and pulls before, and another comes and pushes behind, till they get me in my chair beside the table; and I know times and times I havent had half a meal for the young rebels climbing on me; for, somehow or another, if there is any time in the day that goes fast, its dinner hour. You get sat down, and toss this little one, and play with that, and eat two or three mouthfuls, and then its time to go back to the shop, and grime yourself up again with steel filings and oil.
I was such a grim, gruff fellow, that my shopmates took precious little notice of me; and one day, after it had been brewing for some time, they all turned out hundred and forty of em.
Now, I was so took aback, and it come upon me so unexpectedly, that I put on my coat and came out with the rest, and stood outside the gates; but as soon as I was outside, I felt mad at having done so, and would have gone back, only it was too late, and what my shopmates had settled it seemed that I must abide by. So, thinking of how it would end, I walked home, though two or three called me a sneak for not joining their meeting at a public-house hard by. After sitting by the fire for an hour I made up my mind what I should do, and that was to go back to work, for I didnt want to strike, and felt that the treatment we got at the works was quite as good as we deserved; and it didnt seem fair to me to look upon my employer as an enemy because he had had so much better luck in the world than I had. So back I went without a word, and as I got near the gates there were three or four of our chaps hanging about.
Where going, Sam? says one.
Works, I says, gruffly.
What for? he says; and just then some others came up, and then from here and there more and more, till fifty or sixty stood round.
Im going into the works, I said, roughly, and trying to shove my way on.
Well, but what for! he says, with a sort of half laugh. We havent heard that theyve given the rise, but being a favourite you got the news first. Why didnt you tell us, mate?
Of course I didnt like his bantering way, nor I didnt like the half laugh which followed; but I said nothing, only tried to push through the crowd, when being brought up short I swallowed down a sort of feeling of rage that seemed to come up my throat, and facing round, I says boldly:
Harry Perkins, youre on strike, as yer call it; well, Im not. You dont mean work: I do; and Im off into the shop.
Well, this seemed to stagger him for a moment, but the next minute half a dozen fellows had hold of me, and I was dragged back right into the middle of the crowd, and the voices I heard naming the pump and river told me I should get some rather rough usage; but the English obstinacy in me began to kick against this treatment, and, shouting out loudly, on the chance of there being some present of my way of thinking, I says: