In 1883 Mr. H. P. Stephens submitted to Gaiety audiences a one-act piece which he called "Galatea, or Pygmalion Re-versed." In this Galatea was the sculptor, and Pygmalion the statue; and with Miss Farren as the former, and Mr. Edward Terry as the latter, the result was eminently laughable. Cynisca, by the way, was turned into a man (Cyniscos), and was played by Elton.
Two mythological burlesques
Miss Raynham was the hero; Mr. David James, his apprentice Cambyses; Mr. Thomas Thorne, the Princess Mandane; Miss Ada Swanborough, Venus; Miss Elsie Holt, Cupid; and Miss Eliza Johnstone, Mopsa.
stand to the credit of Gilbert Abbott a'Beckett "The Son of the Sun, or the Fate of Phaeton," played at the Fitzroy Theatre so long ago as 1834; and "The Three Graces," a two-act piece, seen at the Princess's in 1843, with Oxberry, Wright, and Paul Bedford in the cast. Both of these travesties are very smoothly and gracefully written, with fewer puns than the author afterwards permitted himself. "The Three Graces," moreover, is not very prolific in contemporary allusion; though here and there, as in the following passage, between the heroines Aglaia, Thalia, and Euphrosyne there is some gentle satire:
Agl. Euphrosyne, we shall be miss'd by Venus.
Eup. With her we easily can make our peace,
If something, her attractions to increase,
We take from earth.
Agl. Why, yes, that's very true,
If we could only meet with something new.
Eup. That mixture for the hair, what is it call'd?
It's advertised as "solace for the bald."
Agl. I'll take her some of that.
Eup. Or what's that's stuff
For which, I saw the other day a puff?
Something to be upon the features sprinkled,
And offering "Consolation to the wrinkled."
Tha. Venus don't want such aids.
Eup. That's very true;
Want them, indeed! the ladies never do;
But when such little purchases are made,
Of course 'tis only to encourage trade.
Agl. They've got on earth a very odd idea
Of what the Graces really are, I fear.
Eup. They have indeed: I chanced one day to go
Into a first-rate milliner's depôt ,
That is par excellence the first of places
To meet with earthly notions of the Graces.
Agl. That's very true and there what did you see?
Eup. Things unbecoming either of us three.
Agl. What wear they on their heads? I think I've known
Mortals who've dress'd them something like our own.
Eup. Bonnets they lately wore, but oh, so small,
They nearly dwindled into none at all.
Apol. Euterpe, Music's Muse, I understand
That you had lodgings somewhere in the Strand.
Eut. Oh! the Lyceum! Yes; I had a bout of it
For a short time, until they burnt me out of it.
Apol. Melpomene, Thalia, still remain
Your temples, I suppose, near Drury Lane?
Thal. Our temples! Yes; as usual they stand,
Extensively superb, and coldly grand.
But, oh! the worship's wholly chang'd! Ah me! it is
A cruel thing they've turn'd out us poor deities.
My friend Melpomene's dagger, and her bowl,
Are in the clutches of a noisy soul
With Madame Melodrama for her name.
Apol. That's downright usurpation.
All. Shame! oh, shame!
Thal. And as for me, my place a pretty pass!
Is taken by a vulgar thing, called Farce.
Apol. But where is Shakspeare?
Thal. Bless me, don't you know?
Shakspeare is trampled on.
Apol. By whom?
Thal. Ducrow.
Mr. Burnand has written more "classical" burlesques than any man living or dead. A university man, like Talfourd, he has displayed complete mastery of mythologic themes, submitting them to ingenious perversion, and adorning them with a wealth of pun and parody of which it is impossible, in these brief limits, to give more than a few samples. He has shown special interest in the legends connected with the siege of Troy, producing three burlesques more or less connected with that event. First, in 1860, came "Dido," at the St. James's, with Charles Young as the heroine; next, in 1866, "Paris, or Vive Lemprière," at the Strand; next, in 1867, "The Latest Edition of Helen, or Taken from the Greek," at Liverpool. Helen of Troy, I may note, en parenthèse , had been the heroine of two other travesties: one by Vincent Amcotts "Fair Helen" (Oxford, 1862); the other by Mr. Robert Reece "Our Helen" (Gaiety, 1884).
In "Dido," Mr. Burnand's genius for word-play is agreeably manifested. I take some lines at random:
"Æneas, son of Venus, sails the sea,
Mighty and high ."
"As Venus' son should be."
On the sea-shore, dear, I've just come from walking,
Studying my fav'rite poets. Need I tell ye
The works I read were those of Crabbe and Shelley ?
It is the Queen of life she seems aweary;
And mad as Lear , looking just as leary .
A riddle strikes me: "Why's she thus behaving,
Just like a bird of night?" "'Cos she's a raving ."
Mad as a March hare. It is the fate
Of hares to be then in a rabid state.
"I ne'er shall move as heretofore so gaily,
I feel quite ill and dizzy."
"Dizzy? Raly?"
What? no one here? Thy singing vain appears.
Land may have necks and tongues it has no ears .
None to be done, and nothing here to do.
[Takes off begging paper.]
"I'm starving." Ah, it happens to be true!
On air I cannot feed, howe'er one stuffs,
Not even when it comes to me in puffs .
I wonder what's become of our small party,
Who, yesterday, were sailing well and hearty?
I saw our shipwrecked crew sink in the bay ;
'Twould be a subject fit for Frith , R.A.
And if the shore last night they failed in gaining,
I am the only Landseer now remaining.
Being no gambler, I'll ne'er trust again
My fortunes to the chances of the main .