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You dont understand! And that isnt at the bottom of it!
Very well, then, it isnt. So stop frowning like that this instant. Id no idea you looked so well when you were fierce. I shall make you fierce often now. Come, you stupid boy! I shall learn in time. How do you know Im not learning already? Come away; weve had enough of the water-hole, I think.
She took his arm, and together they struck across to Ham Gate. But Alfred was silent and moody; and the Bride knew why.
Dear old Alfred, she said at last, pressing his arm with her hand; I know I shall get on well with all your people, in time.
All of them, Gladdie?
At any rate, all but Granville.
Still not Gran! I was afraid of it.
No; I shall never care much about Gran. I cant help it, really I cant. He is everlastingly sneering, and he thinks himself so much smarter than he is. Then he enjoys it when I make a fool of myself; I see he does; and oh, I cant bear him!
A pugnacious expression came into Alfreds face, but passed over, and left it only stern.
Yes, he said, I know his infernal manner; but, when he sneers, its only to show what a superior sort of fellow he is; he doesnt mean anything by it. The truth is, I fear hes becoming a bit of a snob; but at least hes a far better fellow than you think; there really isnt a better fellow going. Take my word for it, and for Heavens sake avoid words with him ; will you promise me this much, Gladdie?
Very well though I have once or twice thought thered be a row between us, and though I do think what hed hear from me would do him all the good in the world. But I promise. And I promise, too, not to gas about Australia, to any of them for a whole week. So there.
They walked on, almost in silence, until Ham Common was crossed and they had reached the middle of the delightful green. And here with the old-fashioned houses on three sides of them, and the avenue of elms behind them and the most orthodox of village duck-ponds at their feet Gladys stopped short, and fairly burst into raptures.
But, said Alfred, as soon as he could get a word in, which was not immediately, you go on as though this was the first real, genuine English village youd seen; whereas nothing could be more entirely and typically English than Twickenham itself.
Ah, but this seems miles and miles away from Twickenham, and all the other villages round about that Ive seen. I think I would rather live here, where it is so quiet and still, like a Bush township. I like Twickenham; but on one side theres nothing but people going up and down in boats, and on the other side the
same thing, only coaches instead of boats. And I hate the sound of those coaches, with their jingle and rattle and horn-blowing; though I shouldnt hate it if I were on one.
Would you so very much like to fizz around on a coach, then?
Would I not ! said Gladys.
The first person they saw, on getting home, was Granville, who was lounging in the little veranda where they had taken tea on the afternoon of their arrival, smoking cigarettes over a book. It was the first volume of a novel, which he was scanning for review. He seemed disposed to be agreeable.
Gladys, he said, this books about Australia; whats a new chum, please? I may as well know, as, so far, the heros one.
A new chum, his sister-in-law answered him readily, is some fellow newly out from home, who goes up the Bush; and hes generally a fool.
Thank you, said Granville; the hero of this story answers in every particular to your definition.
Granville went on with his skimming. On a slip of paper lying handy were the skeletons of some of the smart epigrammatic sentences with which the book would presently be pulverised. Husband and wife had gone through into the house, leaving him to his congenial task; when the Tempter, in humorous mood, put it into the head of his good friend Granville to call back the Bride for a moments sport.
I say the young man assumed the air of the innocent interlocutor is it true that every one out there wears a big black beard, and a red shirt, and jack-boots and revolvers?
No, it is not; who says so?
Well, this fellow gives me that impression. In point of fact, it always was my impression. Isnt it a fact, however, that most of your legislators (I meant to ask you this last night, but our friend the senator gave me no chance) that most of your legislators are convicts?
Does your book give you that impression too? the Bride inquired coolly.
No; thats original, more or less.
Then its wrong, altogether. But, see here, Gran: you ought to go out there.
Why, pray?
You remember what I said a new chum was?
Yes; among other things a fool.
Very good. You ought to go out there, because there are the makings of such a splendid new chum in you . Youre thrown away in England.
Granville dropped his book and put up his eyeglass. But the Bride was gone. She had already overtaken her husband, and seized him by the arm.
Oh, Alfred, she cried, I have done it! I have broken my promise! I have had words with Gran! Oh, my poor boy Im beginning to make you wish to goodness youd never seen me I feel I am!