Graves Charles Larcom - Mr. Punch's History of Modern England. Volume 4 of 4.1892-1914 стр 18.

Шрифт
Фон

The Government certainly did not expect war, but whether by lucky chance or in a moment of wise prevision, a momentous decision was taken by the Admiralty in March:

"The Admiralty has decided that, in the place of the grand manoeuvres this year, there shall be a surprise mobilisation. Last year's manoeuvres were, we believe, something of a fiasco, but to ensure the success of the surprise mobilisation, five months' previous notice is given."

Punch's Punch Punch

his country. Another conspicuous absentee from England at this period of storm and stress was Lord Northcliffe. A notice appeared in the Daily Mail in the following words:

Lord Northcliffe rarely sees and never reads a letter, being mainly nowadays engaged in golf and travel.

Punch O si sic semper! Punch's Punch

An Unconscious Prophecy

Punch Punch

BALLAD OF THE WATCHFUL EYE
O keep your eye on David,
The demigod of Wales,
Before whose furious onset
Dukes turn their timid tails;
Whom Merioneth mystics
Praise in delirious distichs
And, matched with whose statistics,
Munchausen's glory pales.
O keep your eye on Winston,
And mind you keep it tight,
For nearly every Saturday
You'll find he takes to flight;
Now eloquent and thrilling,
Now simply cheap or filling,
And now bent on distilling
The purest Party spite.
O keep your eye on Haldane,
Ex-Minister of War,
The sleek and supple-minded
And suave Lord Chancellor;
Whose brain, so keen and subtle,
Moves swifter than a shuttle,
Obscuring, like the cuttle,
Things that were plain before.
O keep your eye on Birrell,
So wholly free from guile,
Conspicuous by his absence
From Erin's peaceful isle;
Who wakes from floor to rafter
The House to heedless laughter,
Careless of what comes after
Can he but raise a smile.
O keep your eye on Masterman,
Dear David's henchman leal,
Whose piety and "uplift"
Makes ribald Tories squeal;
In every public function
Displaying the conjunction
Of perfect moral unction
With perfect Party zeal.
Last, keep your eye on Asquith
And he will bring you through,
No matter what his colleagues
May say or think or do;
For in the dirtiest weather,
He moulted not a feather
And safely kept together
His variegated crew.

Mr. Punch certainly kept his eye on Lord Haldane to good purpose witness the stanzas "To the Cabinet (suggested by a recent doctoring of Hansard)":

The judgment of the People's "Yea" or "Nay"
Wherefore should virtuous men like you shun?
You are or so you confidently say
Prepared for Dissolution.
Then snatch a hint from Haldane's little fake,
Who glanced with eye alert and beady at
His speech in proof, and, for appearance' sake
Added the word "immediate ."

"No orders were issued, no orders are likely to be issued, and no orders will be issued for the coercion of Ulster."

Ulster and the "Plot"

Punch Entente

"For the third time in the course of three successive Sessions the Home Rule Bill passes the second reading stage." So Punch wrote of the "business done" in Parliament on April 6. But the arbitrament of the vote did not allay the suspicions of the Opposition. April and May were given over to acrimonious discussions of the alleged "Plot" by the Government to overawe Ulster by armed occupation. Punch admired the imperturbability of Mr. Asquith, who is shown combining in his own person the rôles of prisoner, judge and jury. Mr. Austen Chamberlain demanded a judicial inquiry into the "Plot," but was beaten by eighty votes in a House of 608 members. Simultaneously Punch depicted Sir Edward Carson as the Ulster King-at-Arms, armed and defiant, and declared through the mouth of John Bull that "he was not going to have Civil War to please either Radical Extremists or Tory Die-Hards." Simultaneously, too, Punch printed a most eulogistic notice of Mr. Norman Angell's Foundations of International Policy , in which the reviewer declared that if he were a politician he would "move for a further supplementary Naval Estimate to expend the price of a Dreadnought in distributing this fighting pacificist's book to all journalists, attachés, clergymen, bazaar-openers, club oracles, professors, headmasters, and other obvious people in both Germany and Britain."

Mr. Lloyd George's last Budget topped two hundred millions, but showed a small surplus. Punch portrayed the income-tax payer as an old cow complaining that "it isn't milking, it's murder." The enhancement of the death duties Punch regarded as a raising of the fares to Styx, which would cost the Plutocratic Shades more.

The debates on the Home Rule Bill suggested to Punch a contrast between 1906 and 1914, the efforts of the Liberals to improve the situation having only resulted in turmoil, discontent and bitter recrimination. The third reading was carried on May 25 by 351 votes to 274, Mr. William O'Brien having cheerfully remarked that the Bill, if it became an Act, would be born with a rope round its neck. Heated discussions took place over the refusal of the Government to disclose the details of the Amending Bill. The Speaker had invited Mr. Asquith to supply further particulars, as the Opposition had insistently demanded, but, according to Punch , the Premier's luminous and courteous response did not add a syllable to the information

Ваша оценка очень важна

0
Шрифт
Фон

Помогите Вашим друзьям узнать о библиотеке