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LORD NORBURY'S MOTTO
Right can never die right left AN AMOROUS PUN
Many of these whims have never before appeared in print.
Counsellor Grahaarty. "Miss Glass," replied the barrister. "Glass! " reiterated the facetious judge; "by the love which man bears to woman, I should often become intoxicated, could I press such a glass to my lips !"
THE JOKER'S RETORT
Irish stick PENCILING WITH A PICKAXE
Bully Egan post obit pencil penciling with a pickaxe TIME AND ETERNITY
time piece grasping time eternity THE CANAL AND LOCKS
water ways canal locks DROPPING THE SUBJECT
subject drop JAM SATIS
Jam satis THE CRITICS CURTAILED
dogs cur-tailed SHAKE-SPEARE
Shake-speare KING AND JAMES, THE DUBLIN LORD MAYORS
King James CURLED HAIR
in Sackville Street, Dublin, who is a very pretty woman, remonstrated with her on having so long delayed sending home his order: "Sure your Lordship," said the good woman, with great naiveté , "there's no curled hair to be had now in Dublin, neither for love nor money ." "By the powers above," replied his Lordship, looking amorously, "but it was very plentiful in this city, Mrs. O'Connor, when I was a curly boy ."
TRIAL OF A HORSE
try it try the horse yourselves A DRY WIPE
wipe HOW TO CUT A FIGURE IN THE TEMPLE
temporal artery; never called to the bar you have cut a figure in the Temple THE GAME JOKE
fleecy hosiery Woodcocks forsake the Moors MAJESTICALLY MOUNTED
mounts you both A SPORTING PUN
hares! wig THE FEMALE LINGUIST
conjugate declining HOPE AND JOY
'Hope told a flattering tale,
That Joy would soon return.'"
A RUM WITNESS SENT TO QUOD
queered But," continued the facetious counsel, "although Mr. Daly's attachment to good pieces is proverbial, we do not choose that he shall monopolize all the good pieces in Dublin, from 'My Grandmother ' down to 'Miss in her Teens .'"
LORD NORBURY'S EPITAPH.SAID TO HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY HIMSELF
He's dead! alas, facetious punster ,
Whose jokes made learned wigs with fun stir:
From heaven's high court, a tipstaff's sent,
To call him to his pun -ishment:
Stand to your ropes! ye sextons, ring!
Let all your clappers ding, dong, ding!
Nor-bury him without his due,
He was himself a Toler too!
PUNNING EPIGRAMS
THE SPORTING PUNSTERS
Two merry wags, of Cockney land,
Well known at Rhodes's, in the Strand,
Where tavern wits choice puns let fly,
Resolved their dogs and guns to try.
Dress'd cap-a-pee, in sporting suit,
With jacket, belt, and net to boot,
Away they trudge to Hampstead Rise,
To take the pheasants by surprise.
And what will strange appear, though true,
A poor stray'd cock-bird came in view,
Uprising 'tween the punning elves,
Who miss'd the bird, but shot themselves.
Condoling on their hapless gunning,
They yet could not desist from punning:
"Ne'er mind, Tom, peasants each we've hit."
"Why leave the aitch , Ned, out of it?"
"Because," quoth Ned, "I'd fain forget
The aitch that frets my body yet."
"Still pop for pop ," quoth Tom again.
Says Ned, "I feel a shooting pain ;
But then I've heard, those who aspire
To be good sportsmen must stand fire."
"Agreed," cries Tom, "and in my head
'Tis now engraved in molten lead ."
By Bernard Blackmantle.ON SIR THOMAS MORE, LORD CHANCELLOR OF ENGLAND
When More had few years Chancellor been,
No more suits did remain;
The like shall never more be seen,
Till More be there again!
R.B. SHERIDAN'S EPIGRAM ON PITT
The nation is pawn'd! we shall find to our cost,
And the minister since has the duplicate lost.
We shall all be undone by the politic schemer,
Who, though "Heav'n-born ," will not prove a Redeemer .
ON "RECOLLECTIONS OF LORD BYRON, BY THE LATE R.C. DALLAS, EDITED BY HIS SON."
A mighty DULL ASS is old prosing Dallas,
And quite as dull and prosing is his Son
What! fifteen shillings for the book! Alas!
No pleasant "Recollection " I am done .
The Learned Judge's name.
In the ministerial prints Mr. Pitt was usually so designated.
DEAN SWIFT'S BARBER
Rove not from pole to pole , but step in here,
Where nought excels the shaving but the beer ."
G. COLMAN TO MISS M. TREE,
Impromptu, on Miss M. Tree's intended marriage andretirement from the stage
You bloom and charm us! still the bosom grieves,
When Trees of your description take their leaves .
TO CAPTAIN PARRY, THE POLAR NAVIGATOR,
On his giving a Fete on board the Hecla
Dear Captain Parry, you are right
To give the belles a levee;
God grant your dancing may be light ,
For oh! your book is heavy .
SAM ROGERS TO CHARLES LAMB
Elia's Pen
Says Elia , "Zounds, this pen is hard!"
Quoth Samuel Rogers, "Do not huff;
But write away, my honey bard,
You soon can make it soft enough ."
FRI v. DAY
Good Friday rain'd, Sam Rogers dined
On soles, for fish were all the go;
And Sam allowed the Fri was good ,
Although the day was but so so .
TO THE LATE MR. COUTTS
Written at Holly Lodge, Highgate, by the Duke of Gordon, and presented in the Drawing-room by the Marquis of Huntley
An apple , we know, caused old Adam's disgrace,
Who from Paradise quickly was driven;
But yours, my dear Tom, is a happier case,
For a Melon transports you to heaven.
TO MRS. COUTTS, THE GAY WIDOW
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