Nor I! shouted each of the other officers.
You see, said Ann, how helpless I am. Had not Private Files proved himself a traitor and a deserter, I would gladly have conquered this Ruggedo; but an Army without a private soldier is like a bee without a stinger.
I am not a traitor, Your Majesty, protested Files. I resigned in a proper manner, not liking the job. But there are plenty of people to take my place. Why not make Shaggy Man the private soldier?
He might be killed, said Ann, looking tenderly at Shaggy, for he is mortal, and able to die. If anything happened to him, it would break my heart.
It would hurt me worse than that, declared Shaggy. You must admit, Your Majesty, that I am commander of this expedition, for it is my brother we are seeking, rather than plunder. But I and my companions would like the assistance of your Army, and if you help us to conquer Ruggedo and to rescue my brother from captivity we will allow you to keep all the gold and jewels and other plunder you may find.
This prospect was so tempting that the officers began whispering together and presently Colonel Cheese said: Your Majesty, by combining our brains we have just evolved a most brilliant idea. We will make the Clockwork Man the private soldier!
Who? Me? asked Tik-Tok. Not for a sin-gle sec-ond! I can-not fight, and you must not for-get that it was Rug-ge-do who threw me in the well.
At that time you had no gun, said Polychrome. But if you join the Army of Oogaboo you will carry the gun that Mr. Files used.
A sol-dier must be a-ble to run as well as to fight, protested Tik-Tok, and if my works run down, as they of-ten do, I could nei-ther run nor fight.
Ill keep you wound up, Tik-Tok, promised Betsy.
Why, it isnt a bad idea, said Shaggy. Tik-Tok will make an ideal soldier, for nothing can injure him except a sledge hammer. And, since a private soldier seems to be necessary to this Army, Tik-Tok is the only one of our party fitted to undertake the job.
What must I do? asked Tik-Tok.
Obey orders, replied Ann. When the officers command you to do anything, you must do it; that is all.
And thats enough, too, said Files.
Do I get a salary? inquired Tik-Tok.
You get your share of the plunder, answered the Queen.
Yes, remarked Files, one-half of the plunder goes to Queen Ann, the other half is divided among the officers, and the Private gets the rest.
That will be sat-is-fac-tor-y, said Tik-Tok, picking up the gun and examining it wonderingly, for he had never before seen such a weapon.
Then Ann strapped the knapsack to Tik-Toks copper back and said: Now we are ready to march to Ruggedos Kingdom and conquer it. Officers, give the command to march.
Fall in! yelled the Generals, drawing their swords.
Fall in! cried the Colonels, drawing their swords.
Fall in! shouted the Majors, drawing their swords.
Fall in! bawled the Captains, drawing their swords.
Tik-Tok looked at them and then around him in surprise.
Fall in what? The well? he asked.
No, said Queen Ann, you must fall in marching order.
Can-not I march with-out fall-ing in-to it? asked the Clockwork Man.
Shoulder your gun and stand ready to march,
distance from the ground. And there was General Apple, bounding away in another direction, his three-cornered hat jammed over his eyes and his long sword thumping him upon the arms and head as it swung this way and that. And there, also, appeared General Cone, who had struck a rubber rock headforemost and was so crumpled up that his round body looked more like a bouncing-ball than the form of a man.
Betsy laughed merrily at the strange sight and Polychrome echoed her laughter. But Ozga was grave and wondering, while Queen Ann became angry at seeing the chief officers of the Army of Oogaboo bounding around in so undignified a manner. She shouted to them to stop, but they were unable to obey, even though they would have been glad to do so. Finally, however, they all ceased bounding and managed to get upon their feet and rejoin the Army.
Why did you do that? demanded Ann, who seemed greatly provoked.
Dont ask them why, said Shaggy earnestly. I knew you would ask them why, but you ought not to do it. The reason is plain. Those stones are rubber; therefore they are not stones. Those rocks around us are rubber, and therefore they are not rocks. Even this path is not a path; its rubber. Unless we are very careful, your Majesty, we are all likely to get the bounce, just as your poor officers and Tik-Tok did.
Then lets be careful, remarked Files, who was full of wisdom; but Polychrome wanted to test the quality of the rubber, so she began dancing. Every step sent her higher and higher into the air, so that she resembled a big butterfly fluttering lightly. Presently she made a great bound and bounded way across the stream, landing lightly and steadily on the other side.
There is no rubber over here, she called to them. Suppose you all try to bound over the stream, without touching the stepping-stones.
Ann and her officers were reluctant to undertake such a risky adventure, but Betsy at once grasped the value of the suggestion and began jumping up and down until she found herself bounding almost as high as Polychrome had done. Then she suddenly leaned forward and the next bound took her easily across the brook, where she alighted by the side of the Rainbows Daughter.