Is that why youre here?
My apartment needs a little work, he said, deliberately downplaying the situation. But thats only
part of the reason that I decided to come back now.
And the other part?
To see you.
She stared intently into her cup for a long moment before lifting her gaze. Why?
Because Ive spent some time in the past few weeks reevaluating my life, facing my mistakes, acknowledging my regrets.
Her smile was sad. Where do I fit in? A mistake? Or a regret?
He reached across the table and covered her hand with his own. The mistake was in letting you go.
You say that as if I wanted out of our marriage, but you were the one who left. You were the one who wanted the divorce.
I was too screwed up to know what I wanted. After my father died He shrugged.
I know his death was hard on you, she said gently. I know you wished youd had a chance to bridge the distance between the two of you.
I tried. I guess I just didnt try hard enough. The sense of regret, of guilt, still gnawed at him. Did I ever tell you about the last conversation I had with him?
She shook her head. What happened?
We argued. He smiled wryly. It seemed like we were always arguing about something. This time it was about you.
Me?
He wantedno, he demandedthat I give up coaching. He said it was past time for me to quit chasing a dream, to get a real job, to be the kind of husband you deserved.
Richard McIver had berated Colin for even considering the coaching job, insisting that a woman like Nikki needed security and stability, not the kind of nomad existence his career would entail.
But without his career, Colin had nothing to offer his wife. So hed taken the job, shed stayed in Fairweather, and their marriage had become a casualty of geographical distance.
And his father had died as hed lived: angry with and disappointed in his youngest son.
Im sorry, Colin.
So am I, he said. About so many things.
He rubbed his thumb over her third finger, where his ring had once sat. I thought you would have married again.
She tugged her hand, but he didnt release his hold.
And I thought till death do us part meant something longer than ten months.
He winced at the direct hit. I guess I deserved that.
What do you want me to say, Colin? Do you want me to tell you that theres no one else in my life because I havent been able to forget about you? Well, I havent. I havent forgotten how devastated I was when you walked out on me, and I wont ever risk going through that again.
I am sorry.
She shrugged off his apology, glanced at her watch. Your half hours almost up.
Colin pushed back his chair and rose to his feet with her. He knew he should be grateful shed even been willing to sit down and have a conversation with him. After five years, it was more than hed had a right to expect. But it wasnt nearly enough.
He walked with her across the street back to the clinic parking lot. She stopped beside her car, turned to face him. Thanks for the coffee.
So this was it thenthe brush-off. Hed expected it, but he wasnt prepared for it. He couldntwouldntbelieve that there was nothing left for them.
Testing her, maybe testing himself, he lifted his hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear and allowed his fingers to graze her cheek as he pulled back. He heard her sharp intake of breath, knew the casual contact had sparked something inside her. It had sure as hell stoked the fire that burned inside him.
Is it really so easy to walk away? he asked.
The warmth in her eyes cooled considerably. You tell me.
No. He dropped his hands to her slender waist, struggled against the impulse to pull her tight against his body. Events of the past few days had shown Colin how short life could be, and he didnt want to waste any more time. He also knew if he moved too fast, hed scare her off. Leaving you was the hardest thing Ive ever done.
But you did it.
I thought it was the best thing for both of us. He stroked his hands down over her hips slowly, then back to her waist, his thumbs skimming her ribs. Now I know I was wrong. Because even after five years, I cant forget the way it was between us.
That was a long time ago, Colin.
It could be like that again.
She started to shake her head.
He didnt want to hear the protest he knew was coming, so he silenced her the most effective way he knewwith his mouth.
He felt her stiffen, but she didnt pull away. In fact, her eyelids had just started to lower when the shrill ring of his cell phone intruded.
Later that evening, as Nikki sat alone on the front porch of her home, she would admitif only to herselfthat shed never experienced with another man the kind of desire shed felt just being
held by Colin. The simple anticipation of his kiss had heated her blood more quickly and completely than any other mans kisses ever had.
The physical attraction worried her. Shed never been the type of woman to let her hormones overrule her common sense. Except with Colin. The only man who could make her heart soar with a simple look, an innocent touch, was the only man whod ever broken that same heart.