As for the kissing-her-senseless part, well, he was too
tough to let that bother him for long. Hed been trained as a Ranger, after all. Hooah! Steely minded when he wanted to beor when he was forced to bethis moment had just become one of those times that called for using his dogged determination.
Josh, Im guessing youre not currently married, she said quietly from her corner of the seat.
He nearly bit down on his tongue as his steely mind reeled. What makes you say so?
Youre not wearing a ring and you said you didnt live anywhere. But that doesnt tell me if youve ever been married, or if you have kids somewhere. Do you?
Swallowing hard and slowly shaking his head, he answered, No ex-wife. No children. And its probably just as well.
Oh? Why? Dont you like kids?
The ache in his gut grew into a pain of longing so bad he barely kept from doubling over. He couldnt understand why these old familiar pains hadnt gone away long ago. Geez, youd think a big, tough guy like him wouldve gotten over it already.
Kids are okay, I guess. Ive never had a chance to be around them much. He took the opportunity and checked her expression. What are you getting at?
From her spot snugged up close to the passenger door, Clare shrugged at Joshs question. Oh, nothing much. What the devil could she say that didnt make her sound nosy and controlling as hell? Its only that if you had kids, I would think youd be much more sympathetic to why I cant take a chance on losing Jimmy.
Im plenty sympathetic. Im taking you two with me and Im going to help you get away.
She narrowed her lips in a frown to keep herself from asking why. But she decided she had nothing more to add to the conversation. Maybe shed already said too much.
Josh must have guessed she wanted more information, because he kept trying to explain. Look. When I said it was probably just as well that Id never had kids, I was talking about how crazy my life is right now. I got busted out of the Rangers a few months ago and I havent put my feet back under me yet. I dont have a job, no house and no ideas of what I want to do next. I have no clue where Ill be for sure next week, let alone six months from now. What kind of life is that for a kid?
None. But she also took into consideration the fact that he looked to be about midthirties and he had never been married and didnt seem too interested in having a family anytime soon, if ever.
Clares slightly shakyand definitely rattledmind came to an instant conclusion. As much as this guy was hot and turned her knees to mush when he glanced her way, and as much as he had come to their rescue several times, he was not now nor ever would be the guy for her. She wanted a big family badly. Always had. There would be a lot more children coming into her life, she just knew it. And she needed a steady guy who wanted kids as badly as she did in order to get that family.
Clare wanted a career, too, of course. She wanted it all. But didnt women these days have a chance of getting it all? Gulping down a bubble of indecision mixed with apprehension, she tried to find some semblance of her old backbone. She and Jimmy had come this far. She would find a way out of the mess shed caused. And then, when they were finally safe, she would also find a nice man who wanted a family. One who wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with her as they went through life together, working and raising kids. He had to be out there somewhere.
Josh Ryan definitely didnt qualify as the life partner she envisioned.
He guided Lucille onto the Southwest Freeway and within twenty minutes they were miles out of Houston. The fast-food places and convenience store/gas stations gave way to big unbroken parcels of live oak and cottonwood, while the sun came peeking through a patch of early morning haze and lit their surroundings. Daylight. A new day. There had been a time last night when she didnt think she would live to have another day with Jimmy.
Cranking her neck, she glanced over her shoulder to check on the baby. He was still sleeping soundly. She had kept him up too late last night. Chalk one more mistake against her.
Clare let her gaze wander from Jimmys seat to stare out the back window. Scanning the road behind them, she looked for any sign that someone might be following them. But she saw nothing out of the ordinary in the growing light of dawn. Just the usual early-morning traffic. Relaxing in her seat, she leaned her head back against the headrest. Maybe she could get a few minutes sleep herself.
When she next opened her eyes, the sun was higher in the sky, pouring heat through the back windshield and raising the temperature in the pickups cab. Jimmy was making his normal morning waking-up-and-now-its-time-to-eat noises in the backseat.
a clean T-shirt over the babys head.
Turning from the sight of the sexy mother leaning over her child, Josh took a deep breath to clear his mind. The air here was drier than it had been in Houston, and full of the hay and sage smells like he remembered from when he grew up in these parts. He hadnt been home in nearly fourteen years, and he wasnt particularly happy about going there now.