Are you going to have me arrested?
The older woman shook her head, half smiling. Not if you make a discreet enough exit from my office. I suggest the back stairs. I cant see how sending you home in chains would do anything but fan the flames at this point.
Thank you. She stood and looked toward the door the ambassador had pointed at. I wont forget this.
Just so long as you never tell anyone that you saw me, said the ambassador with an ironic smile. So what will you do?
I dont know.
If you stay here in the capital, we might be able to help youset you up with a job and a place to stay, said the ambassador sympathetically. It would be below your station, Im afraid, at least to start
Thanks, Ill consider itand dont worry, if I see you again, I wont be Venera Fanning anymore. Dazed, she pushed through the door into a utilitarian hallway that led to gray tradesmens stairs. She barely heard the words Good luck, before the door closed behind her.
Venera went down one flight, then sat on a step and put her chin in her hands. She was trembling but dry eyed.
Now what? The news about the Severance had been electrifying. She should board the next ship she could find that was headed for the Meridian countries, and But it might take weeks to get there. She would arrive after the crisis was resolved, if it hadnt been already.
There was one man who could have helped her. Hayden Griffin was flying a fast racing bike, a simple jet engine with a saddle. Shed last seen him at Candesce as the sun of suns blossomed into incandescent life. He was opening the throttleracing for homeand surely by now he was back in Slipstream. If shed gone with him when he offered her his hand, none of her present troubles would have happened.
Yet she couldnt do it. Venera had killed Haydens lover not ten minutes before and simply could not believe that he wouldnt murder her in return if he got the chance.
She hadnt wanted to kill Aubri Mahallan. The woman had lied about her intentions; she had joined the Fanning expedition with the intention of crippling Candesces defenses. She worked for the outsiders, the alien Artificial Nature that lurked somewhere beyond the skin of Virga. Had Venera not prevented it, Mahallan would have let those incomprehensible forces into Virga and nothing would now be as it was.
Once again Venera took out the bullet and turned it over in her fingers. She had killed the captain of the Rook and his bridge crewshot them with a pistolin order to save the lives of everyone aboard. Captain Sembry had been about to fire the Rook s scuttling charges during their battle with the pirates. She had shot several other people in battle and killed Mahallan to save the world itself. Just like shed shot the man who had been about to kill Chaison, on the day theyd met
Either she had killed those people because of a higher purpose, or from naked self-interest. She could admit to being ruthless and callous, even heartless, but Venera did not see herself as fundamentally selfish. She had been bred and raised to be selfish, but she didnt want to be like her sisters or her father. That was the whole reason why shed escaped life in Hale at her first opportunity.
Venera cursed. If she flew away from Garth Diamandis and the key to Candesce now, she would be admitting that she had killed Aubri Mahallan not to save the world but out of pure spite. Shed be admitting that shed shot Sembry in the forehead solely to preserve her own life. Could she even claim to have been trying to save Chaison too?
All her stratagems collapsed. Venera returned the bullet to her pocket, stood, and continued down the steps.
When she reached the street she looked around until she spotted the apartment where at this moment Brydda and the rest of the Buridan trade delegation must be frantically searching for her. Leaden with defeat and anger, she let her feet carry her in that direction.
13
She had to provide some explanation for why shed returned early from the expedition, if only for the council representatives with their clipboards and frowns. We were successful beyond expectations,
she said, pinioning Brydda with a warning glare. A customer has come forward who will satisfy all of our needs for quite some time. There was simply no need to continue with an expensive journey when wed already achieved our goal.
This was far more information than most nations ever released about their customers, so the council would have to be content with it.
The return of the ruler of Buridan was a hectic affair, and it took until near dinnertime before Venera was able to escape to her apartment to contemplate her next move. There had been no messages from Sacrus, neither demands nor threats. They thought they had her in their pocket now, she supposed, so they could turn their attention to more important matters for a while. But those more important matters were her concern too.
She had a meal sent up and summoned the chief butler. I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason, she told him. I will be working here until very late. He bowed impassively, and she closed and locked the door.