Garth looked shocked. Revenge? No, thats notoh, I suppose in the first few months I thought about it a lot. But you get over anger, you know. After a few years, perspective sets in.
Yes, and thats the danger, isnt it? In my family, we were taught to nurture our grudges lest we forget.
But why? He looked genuinely distressed for some reason.
Because once you forgive, she said, as if explaining something to a small child, you set yourself up for another betrayal.
Thats what you were taught?
Never let an insult pass, she said, half-conscious that she was reciting lines her father and sisters had spoken to her many times. She ticked the points off on her fingers. Never let a slight pass, never forget, build realistic plans for your revenges. Youre either up or down from other people and you want always to be up. If they hurt you, you must knock them down.
Now he looked sad. Is that why youre doing all this? He gestured at the walls. To get back at someone?
To get back, at all, she said earnestly, I must have my revenge. Else I am brought low forever and can never go home. For otherwise Her voice caught.
For otherwise, I have no reason to return .
His expression, of compassion, would have maddened her on anyone else. You were telling me about the horses, he said quietly.
Ah. Yes. Grateful of the distraction, she said, Well, they have these huge barrel-shaped bodies and elegant long necks. Long heads like on my ring. She held it up, splaying her fingers. But their legs! Garth, their legs are twice the length of their bodieslike spiders legs, impossibly long and thin. They stalked around the paddock like well, like spiders! I dont know how else to describe it. They were like a dream thats just tipping over to become a nightmare. Im not sure I want to see them again.
He nodded. There are cattle loose between some of the estates. Ive seen them, they look similar. You have to understand, theres no room on the city wheels to raise livestock.
Venera pried open the lid of the grease can and picked up a brush. But now that the nation of Buridan has returned, the horses are our responsibility. There are costs it seems a dozen or more great nations have acted as caretakers for one or another part of the Buridan estate. Some are tenants of ours who havent paid rent in centuries. Others are like Guinevera, whove been tending the horses. Theres an immense web of relationships and dependencies here, and we have a little under a week to figure it all out.
Garth thought about it for a while. First of all, he said eventually, you need to bring a foal or two up here and raise it in the estate. He grimaced at her expression. I know what I just said, but its an important symbol. Besides, these rooms will just fill up with people if you give them a chance. Why not set some aside for the horses now?
Ill think about that.
They cleared out the space behind the rack, and slid it against the wall. It fit comfortably over the exit hole. As they stood back to admire their work, Garth said, Its a funny thing about time, you know. It sweeps away anger and hate. But it leaves love untouched.
She threaded her hand through his arm. Ah, Garth, youre so sentimental. Did it ever occur to you thats why you ended up scrabbling about on Greater Spyre for the past twenty years?
He looked her in the eye. Truthfully, no. That had never occurred to me. If anything, Id say I ended up there because I didnt love well enough, not because I ever loved too well.
She sighed. Youre hopeless. Its a good thing Im here to take care of you.
And here I thought it was I taking care of you.
They left the cellar and re-entered the bedlam of construction that had taken over the manor.
Venera knew exactly what it was, shed suffered these before. All day her jaw had been bothering her; it was like an iron hand was inside her throat, reaching up to clench her skull. Around dinner a strange pulsating squiggly spot appeared in her vision and slowly expanded until she could see nothing around it. She retired to her room, and waited.
How long was this one going to last? They could go on for days, and she didnt have days. Venera paced up and down, stumbling, wondering whether she could just sleep it off. But no, she had mounds of paperwork to go through and no time.
She called Garth. He exclaimed when he saw her and ran to her side. Youre white as a new wall!
Never mind, she said, detaching herself from him and climbing into bed. Bring in the accounts books. Its just a headache, I get them. Im sick but we need to go through these papers.
He started to read the details of Buridans various contracts. Each word was like a little explosion in her head. Venera tried to concentrate, but after ten minutes she suddenly leaned over the edge of the bed and retched.
You need to sleep! His hands were on her shoulders. Garth eased her back on the bed.
Dont be ridiculous, she mumbled. If we dont get this stuff straight, we wont convince the council
and theyll cart us both away in chains. A blossom of agony had unfurled behind her left eye. Despite her brave words Venera knew she was down for however long the migraine decided to hold her.