It hadnt mattered that her father hated her, that hed been bitterly disappointed that she hadnt been another son. It hadnt mattered that he had never forgiven her for surviving a difficult birth while his wife had died. None of it had mattered as long as Jerrod loved her.
Lies, she thought bitterly.
All smoke and mirrors. No substanceno truth. Any love she might have entertained for Jerrod, despite the lies and betrayal, had died an irreversible death on the day she had buried Miranda.
She shoved these thoughts aside, refusing to go to the dark places in her soul where she mourned the baby girl she had lost. Although her brothers knew shed lost a baby years ago, none of them had known the depth of her grief. Shed never shared that with anyone.
I now pronounce you husband and wife, Jerrod said, his deep voice bringing Johnna firmly back to the present.
And son, Brian quipped, his face beaming with happiness.
Mark laughed and ruffled Brians hair. And son, he agreed.
You gonna kiss the bride, or do I get to do it for you? Luke asked.
Mark gathered April into his arms. I think, dear brother, this is a job I can handle all by myself.
As he kissed his new bride, Johnna was once again filled with a bittersweet wistfulness. She hardened herself against it, hating herself for entertaining any weakness or desire for anything remotely resembling love.
Fortunately, the congratulations were over quickly. Mark and April departed for a one-night stay at a bed-and-breakfast in town. Brian left with Matthew to return to the ranch, where he was spending the night with a friend.
Luke scurried out, probably in anticipation of a hot date, and Johnna headed for the door with him, unwilling to be left in the small church with Jerrod.
She needed time to think, and she headed to the place where shed always done her best thinking. In the lobby of the courthouse, she stepped into the elevator and punched the button for the top floor.
When she reached that floor, she headed for the stairs that led up to the roof. She shoved open the door and stepped out, at the same time drawing in a deep breath of the hot arid air.
She walked over to the five-foot-high wall that surrounded the flat roof and peered out onto the streets of the small town.
The four-story courthouse was the tallest building in Inferno, and it was here on this very roof that fantasies had been spun and dreams had been dreamed.
There were many people who cursed the Inferno heat, but Johnna had always loved it. She shrugged out of her suit jacket, closed her eyes and allowed the hot air to embrace her.
Jerrod, a minister. How on earth had the man who shed once believed had probably invented sin become a man of God? It simply didnt compute.
I thought I might find you here.
She stiffened but didnt move, refused to turn around to face him.
You always loved it up here.
She sensed his approach, knew when he stood just behind her, for his familiar, masculine fragrance seemed to wrap itself around her. I still love it up here, she said. Ive always considered this my own little piece of the world, and at the moment I consider you a trespasser.
He was silent for a moment, then said, I was once invited into your little piece of the world.
That was a long time ago. She turned to face him. Hed shed his robe and now wore a pair of worn jeans and a white T-shirt that emphasized his bronzed skin and the sharp blue of his eyes.
Yeah, it was a long time ago, he agreed easily, and moved to stand next to her.
For a long moment they stood side by side, staring out over the ledge. Although she didnt want to talk to him, she couldnt help the curiosity that surged up inside her. When he had left Inferno, where had he gone? What had prompted him to become a minister? How had he made it through college?
I guess congratulations are in order, she finally said. Youve come a long way.
For trailer trash, Ive done all right.
Heat that had nothing to do with the outside temperature warmed her face as she remembered the hurtful words shed flung at him the last time shed seen him.
But she would not apologize. Instead, she sighed wearily. Why did you follow me up here, Jerrod? What do you want from me?
Because I needed to talk to you, because I want you to reconsider your decision about Erin.
She looked at him once again. I cant imagine why she would want me to represent her.
I can tell you why. Again his gaze bore steadily into hers. She told me if she can make you see shes innocent, then she feels like she can convince everyone. She also knows you arent part of the good-old-boy network and that youre a true advocate for your clients.
Im glad she has such a fine opinion of me, but that doesnt change my mind.
I would think that youd jump at the opportunity to defend an innocent woman in a murder case. Its what you talked about years ago when wed sit up here and talk about our futures.
But not Erin McCall.
Her heart rebelled at the thought. Anyone but Erin, she thought. She can probably afford any lawyer in the state.