"I need to know where David is."
She started, a terrible memory overwhelming her. "What?"
"I know you know where he is. I should have gone to look for him a long time ago, but.... I have to find him. There are some things I need to ask him. He might not want to see me, and hell, I wouldn't blame him, but...." He looked at her. "Please, Delenn."
She bowed her head. "Minbar," she said softly. "He was in Yedor the last I heard of him, helping with the rebuilding."
"Minbar," John said softly. "Of course. I should have guessed. Thank you."
"John, are you...?"
"All right?" he finished for her. "You know, I really have no idea." He leaned against the door frame, arms folded. "I used to be so sure, but recently everything's just been crashing down around me. There were so many things I took for granted that now I don't know anything about. I think most of all I need some time alone to think about them, but I have to talk to David first.
"I shouldn't be gone long. I'll take the first ship out.... passenger, not a Dark Star . I want to travel incognito for one thing. And.... Delenn.... please don't send any Rangers to keep an eye on me. I really do need to be alone."
She nodded. "How.... how long will you be gone?"
"Not long. We'll.... talk when I get back. I think we'll have a lot to talk about by then."
She nodded once, and then turned back to her notes. An instant later he was gone.
I am blind.
The pain is intense, agonising. A million dots of light
starting to shine. The lake was still dirty and thick with silt. The sky was still dark and heavy. The signs of the devastation of this world were still there, but they were less now.
One day, he hoped, no one would ever be able to tell what had happened. There would be no sign remaining, no hint of the bloodshed humanity was capable of.
Corwin sat silently on the banks of Turon'val'na lenn-veni, looking out across the lake. The Minbari had accepted him now, or most of them at any rate. He was even able to speak with them, and laugh and joke. But none of them were his friends.
Except perhaps one.
He heard the soft footsteps that signalled Kats' arrival. He turned to greet the little worker. As always, she was wearing a simple robe of plain white, her only ornamentation the plain necklace that hung around her neck.
"Satai," he said, nodding his head.
"David," she replied. He had insisted she use his first name. He had no title any more, and heaven hope, he never would again.
"It must have been breathtaking," he said, gesturing across the lake.
"It was," she replied, sitting beside him. "My father brought me here when I was young. He believed all the beauties of our people were embodied in every single drop of water."
"And it now symbolises the destruction of your world."
Her hand brushed his and she looked at him sharply. "You are not to blame," she said, firmly. "We have talked about it. Your world is an airless ball of rock. Ours still lives, and you work hard every day to make it live a little more. I have forgiven you for whatever sins you think you may have committed against me, but you will have to forgive yourself, and you are doing that, a little more every day."
He nodded. "There aren't any dreams any more. At least, not many."
"That is good. Can you accept what your past has brought you? Mary, Carolyn, Susan, John Sheridan can you think about all those names now and feel no guilt?"
"A little, but that is all. Is it so wrong, anyway, to be bound by the past?"
"Wrong?" Her hand slid from his and gently brushed her necklace. "No, it is not wrong, but we must remember the good things and learn from the bad and then.... Ah, but I am lecturing you, and poorly as well. In truth, I came here to ask you something."
"Yes?"
"I have been asked by the rest of the Grey Council to visit Babylon Five soon. They would like one of us to observe things there, at the heart of the Alliance. It is time for us to look outwards again, now that we have repaired much of the damage that was within. We will need a permanent voice in the Alliance Council, and it will be good to speak with the other races in the Alliance. We have been isolated since the war ended, bound up with repairing and undoing. it is.... not good to be too isolated.
"Would you come with me?"
"What?" He started, having been momentarily lost in the melody of her voice. "I.... I am happy here."
"I do not doubt it, but you do not belong here. I do not mean in that you are an alien, but that you are not a man destined to spend the rest of his days farming or building. You are meant for more than that."
"I've seen more than that, Satai. I've seen great things. I've been at the summit of the galaxy, and do you know what happens up there? Everyone dies. At the top all you can see is chess pieces. You move them around and you sacrifice a city here and a world there, all for the greater good, and you don't see who these people are, or what that city meant to them."
"I know. You are talking to a leader, remember. But the important thing, the vital thing, is that every leader remembers that. There can be no harm in someone like yourself standing in the ?chelons of power, someone who knows what it is to be.... at the bottom."