I hope sincerely you are right, sir, said Hornblower.
The Count was not to know how disturbing this mention of Wellington was to his audience; he could not guess that Hornblower was daily tormented by speculations as to whether Wellingtons sister was widowed or not, whether Lady Barbara Leighton, née Wellesley, ever had a thought to devote to the naval captain who had been reported dead. Her brothers triumphs might well occupy her mind to the exclusion of everything else, and Hornblower feared that when at last he should reach England she would be far too great a lady to pay him any attention at all. The thought irked him.
He went to bed in a peculiarly sober mood, his mind busy with problems of the most varying naturefrom speculations about the approaching fall of the French Empire to calculations regarding the voyage down the Loire which he was about to attempt. Lying awake, long after midnight, he heard his bedroom door quietly
open and close; he lay rigid, instantly, conscious of a feeling of faint distaste at this reminder of the intrigue which he was conducting under a hospitable roof. Very gently, the curtains of his bed were drawn open, and in the darkness he could see, through half opened eyes, a shadowy ghost bending over him. A gentle hand found his cheek and stroked it; he could no longer sham sleep, and he pretended to wake with a start.
It is Marie, Oratio, said a voice, softly.
Yes, said Hornblower.
He did not know what he should say or dofor that matter he did not know what he wanted. Mostly he was conscious of Maries imprudence in thus coming to his room, risking discovery and imperilling everything. He shut his eyes as though still sleepy, to gain time for consideration; the hand ceased to stroke his cheek. Hornblower waited for a second or two more, and was astonished to hear the slight click of the latch of the door again. He sat up with a jerk. Marie had gone, as silently as she had come. Hornblower continued to sit up, puzzling over the incident, but he could make nothing of it. Certainly he was not going to run any risks by going to seek Marie in her room and asking for explanations; he lay down again to think about it, and this time, with its usual capriciousness, sleep surprised him in the midst of his speculations, and he slept soundly until Brown brought him his breakfast coffee.
It took him half the morning to nerve himself for what he foresaw to be a very uncomfortable interview; it was only then that he tore himself away from a last inspection of the boat, in Bushs and Browns company, and climbed the stairs to Maries boudoir and tapped at the door. He entered when she called, and stood there in the room of so many memoriesthe golden chairs with their oval backs upholstered in pink and white, the windows looking out on the sunlit Loire, and Marie in the window-seat with her needlework.
I wanted to say good morning, he said at length, as Marie did nothing to help him out.
Good morning, said Marie. She bent her head over her needleworkthe sunshine through the windows lit her hair gloriouslyand spoke with her face concealed. We only have to say good morning to-day, and to-morrow we shall say goodbye.
Yes, said Hornblower stupidly.
If you loved me, said Marie, it would be terrible for me to have you go, and to know that for years we should not meet againperhaps for ever. But as you do not, then I am glad that you are going back to your wife and your child, and your ships, and your fighting. That is what you wanted, and I am pleased that you should have it all.
Thank you, said Hornblower.
Still she did not look up.
You are the sort of man, she went on, whom women love very easily. I do not expect that I shall be the last. I dont think that you will ever love anybody, or know what it is to do so.
Hornblower could have said nothing in English in reply to these two astonishing statements, and in French he was perfectly helpless. He could only stammer.
Goodbye, said Marie.
Goodbye, madame, said Hornblower, lamely.
His cheeks were burning as he came out into the upper hall, in a condition of mental distress in which humiliation only played a minor part. He was thoroughly conscious of having acted despicably, and of having been dismissed without dignity. But he was puzzled by the other remarks Marie had made. It had never occurred to him that women loved him easily. Mariait was odd, that similarity of names, Maria and Marieloved him, he knew; he had found it a little tiresome and disturbing. Barbara had offered herself to him, but he had never ventured to believe that she had loved himand had she not married someone else? And Marie loved him; Hornblower remembered guiltily an incident of a few days ago, when Marie in his arms had whispered hotly, Tell me you love me, and he had answered with facile kindness, I love you, dear. Then I am happy, answered Marie. Perhaps it was a good thing that Marie knew now that he was lying, and had made easy his retreat. Another woman with a word might have sent him and Bush to prison and deaththere were women capable of it.