It couldnt be.
Alix, you look like youve seen a ghost. Do you know him? her colleague asked.
Yes, she replied quietly, her mouth dry, her palms damp. I know him.
A ghost. It was a good way to describe Terrance. He was a ghost from her past. How many times had she wondered if he was dead? Had been convinced of it? Because if he were alive, she was certain he would have tried to explain how he could have gone from loving her to disappearing into some black hole, forever out of sight.
Here he was, older, handsomer, looking for all the world as if hed just been away on an extended vacation.
And he was smiling.
Damn him to hell.
Undercover M.D. Marie Ferrarella
MARIE FERRARELLA
To
Sherry and Rick Newcomb,
with affection
Contents
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 1
Even so, she felt as if her whole body had just been turned inside out and twisted. Hard.
She pressed her lips together. A silent scream filled her.
One moment, Alix DuCane was sitting in the third floor conference room, trying not to nod off as the combination of lack of air and Blair Memorials chief of staff giving his weekly informal talk conspired to put her to sleep. The next, adrenaline was charging through her body like an F15 Tomcat the split second before it broke through the sound barrier.
And all because of the name that Dr. Beauchamp had just uttered. The name of the newest addition to the hospitals pediatric ward. Dr. Terrance McCall.
It couldnt be.
The words vibrated within her chest.
It couldnt be.
Almost afraid to look, unconsciously holding her breath, Alix shifted her eyes to the right as she detected movement from that side of the room.
It couldnt be, but it was.
Terrance.
Terry.
Oh God.
The breath in her throat caught there like a solid, immovable lump. She felt as if she was choking. For one frightening second, it was as if all the carefully reconstructed pieces of her once-shattered
world threatened to crack apart again. The pieces she had worked so hard to put together after Terrance had vanished from her life, leaving her with haunting questions and a heart that ached so badly she was certain it would literally break.
Alix, you okay?
The whispered question came from her right, from Reese Bendenetti. The surgeon leaned forward as if to get a better look at her face.
Reese was as close a friend as she had at Blair. She appreciated his concern, but this was something she couldnt share. Not yet.
Very carefully she took in a deep breath, trying not to appear as stunned, as upset as she was.
Yes, Im okay. Thanks for asking. The quip lacked her usual verve. She hoped he wouldnt notice. The last thing she wanted right now were more questions.
Reese looked from Alixs face to the man who had come up to join Beauchamp at the podium. Blairs newest physician was tall, blond and good-looking in a rugged sort of way.
You look like youve seen a ghost. Do you know him?
Yes, she replied quietly, her mouth dry, her palms damp. I know him.
A ghost. It was a good way to describe Terrance, she thought. He was a ghost. A ghost from her past. Literally.
How many times had she wondered if he was dead? Had been convinced of it? Because if he were alive, she was certain Terrance would have gotten in touch with her, if only just once. He would have tried to explain how he could have gone from loving her, from being the center of her universe, to disappearing into some black hole, forever out of sight.
Wouldnt he have at least tried?
Yet here he was, older, handsomer, looking for all the world as if hed just been away on a long, extended vacation.
He was smiling.
Damn him to hell.
She felt Reese shifting beside her. You want to go out for some air? he prodded, his voice low as Beauchamp went on talking.
Alix had known Reese for five years, and they had been there for each other, through good times and bad. He knew her as well as anyone. In all that time, she knew hed never seen her like this. Not even when Jeff, her husband of two years, had been killed in that boating accident.
Reese could no doubt see that the man at the front of the room had left one hell of a footprint on the beach of her life.
As if set on delayed reaction, Alix waved away his suggestion, never taking her eyes off the front of the room. Off Terrance.
Im okay, she declared in a whisper that was a little too fierce to be true.
She wasnt okay. But she was a survivor and she would be. Even now, she tried to tell herself, the shock of seeing Terrance after all these years was abating.
Her heart rate was returning to normal.
Alix took another deep breath and let it out slowly as she forced a smile to her lips. She turned to look at Reese. She could feel the waves of his concern washing over her. It helped. Some.
Really, she added with what she prayed was a convincing note.
Alix didnt want to admit to anything being wrong. She was incredibly independent and incredibly proud. Any show of weakness was inexcusable. She prided herself on being there for people, not vice versa.