She stretched languidly, realizing that despite the unfamiliarity of the bed, shed slept well. No nightmares had come to haunt her, no dreams of any kind had disturbed her rest.
Drawing in a slow, deep breath, she thought of the conversation shed shared with Jesse last night. Shed been seeking comfort, his absolute certainty that she would be safe while in Mustang, but hed been unable to offer her any absolutes.
She frowned thoughtfully as she realized what shed really wanted from Jesse was more than a mere assurance that shed be safe in Mustang; shed wanted him to tell her that her blindness would eventually go away, that the bad guys would be put behind bars, that shed be able to pick up the pieces of her life and that eventually the sharp, intense heartache of losing John and Alicia would fade. Shed wanted the impossible from him.
Opening her eyes, a momentary flare of disappointment flowed through her. Darkness. Always darkness. What scared her was that with each day that passed, she expected nothing more.
She was beginning to accept her blindness, and that frightened her as much as anything.
Irritated with her thoughts, she got out of bed. Grabbing the robe that awaited her, she pulled it around her and headed for the bathroom.
She was reaching for the bathroom doorknob when the door suddenly flew open, throwing her off balance. She stumbled forward.
Whoa, Jesse exclaimed. He grabbed her by the shoulders and her hands found the broad expanse of his chest.
Her senses filled with the scent of him, the utterly male, overwhelmingly enticing fragrance of spicy soap and shaving cream. At the same time, her fingertips registered the fevered warmth of his skin and the strength of the smooth muscles beneath.
For one crazy moment she wanted to lay her head against his chest, feel those strong muscles beneath her cheek, listen to the rhythm of his heart beating as his arms enfolded her tightly.
She stepped back, still slightly off balance as she quickly pulled her hands from his chest, as if flames of fire danced just beneath the surface of his skin.
His hands remained on her shoulders and she could feel their warmth penetrating the thin material of her robe. You okay? he asked, his voice huskier than usual as he finally dropped his hands.
Fine. I just got off balance for a moment. She felt the blush of her cheeks. She pulled her robe more tightly around her, hoping desperately that she was sufficiently covered. Ill go back to my room.
No, Im finished in here. Ill just get out of your way, he said, and brushed past her into the hallway. What would you like for breakfast?
Just coffee is fine. Im not much of a morning eater.
Ah, your loss. I make a mean omelet.
Okay, maybe just a small one. She smiled. A woman has a right to change
her mind, right?
He laughed, the deep sound permeating through her. From what I understand about women, its the one thing you can count on. He hesitated a moment. You need help getting to the kitchen?
She shook her head. Ill manage.
A few moments later, standing beneath the warm spray of the shower, she thought of her words. Shed manage. Perhaps it was time to stop wishing her blindness away and learn to manage what fate had handed her.
She could learn Braille, buy a computer program that would talk so she could write letters and such. There were all kinds of products available to help the visually impaired.
No! Her mind rejected the thought. Some place deep inside her was the superstitious fear that if she learned to cope with her blindness, then fate would keep her forever blind. She didnt want to cope. She didnt want to manage. She wanted to see. She wanted her life back.
Leaning her head beneath the brunt of the spray, she allowed shampoo and thoughts of blindness to drain away. Instead, her mind replayed that moment when her hands had touched Jesses chest.
Heat rushed through her at the memory.
She wished shed had an hour to explore the muscled contours and smooth skin, wished her fingers could have taken the time to give her the mental picture that her eyes couldnt provide.
Shutting off the water, she pulled the shower curtain open and reached for the towel near the sink, her mind still filled with thoughts of Jesse.
She pulled her robe back on and left the bathroom. In her room, she quickly dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
As she brushed her hair, she recognized her vulnerability with Jesse. It would be easy to fall into some sort of demented romantic fantasy where he was concerned. He was her protector, her single contact with the world at large. Where Keller had been cold and impersonal, Jesse exuded a warmth that was appealing.
However, she couldnt forget that, to him, she was an assignment. Nothing more. Nothing less. Besides, she thought with a touch of bitterness, what man in his right mind would want to saddle himself with a helpless blind woman? A blind woman who several Templeton cops would love to see dead.
All the lessons her mother had taught her about independence and self-reliance replayed in her mindneeding a man was a weakness not to be tolerated. Shed lectured over and over again that ultimately a woman could only depend on herself for survival, and depending on a man for anything was the work of a fool.