She shook her head. To speak of it would hurt too much.
Its your mother, he murmured. She said she was happy about the engagement. Your family has always been ambitious. In some ways a king for a son-in-law is even better than a president.
I know. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hung on as hard as she could. Its horrible. Shes horrible. She said she was proud of me. Thats the first time shes ever said that. Because Ive always been a disappointment.
The hurt of a decade of indifference from her family swept through her. Nobody came to my college graduation. Did you know that? They were all still angry because Id refused to marry you. And they hated that I became a vet. No one even acknowledged my finishing school and going to work. My mother didnt say a word in the Christmas newsletter. She didnt mention me at all. Its as if by not marrying well, Id ceased to exist.
She felt the light brush of his lips on her head. I am sorry.
She sniffed. Im only their child when I do what they want. I was afraid it would be the same for Brittany. I wanted her to be happy and strong so I tried to let her know that I loved her no matter what. That my love wasnt conditional on her marrying the right man.
Im sure she knows how much you care.
I hope so. Laurel said she would be heartbroken.
Murat chuckled. Not to marry a man twice her age whom she has never met? I suspect you raised her better than that.
What? She lifted her head and stared at him. They were far closer than shed realized, which was really stupidwhat with her being in his arms and all.
I didnt raise her, she said. Shes not my daughter.
Isnt she?
It was what shed always believed in her heart but never spoken of. Not to anyone. How could Murat grasp that personal truth so easily?
I know all about expectations, he said, lightly tracing the curve of her cheek. There was not a single day I was allowed to forget my responsibilities.
Which made sense. I guess when youre going to grow up and be king, you arent supposed to make as many mistakes as the rest of us.
Exactly. So I understand about having to do what others want, even when that means not doing what is in your heart.
Except I wasnt willing to do that, she reminded him. I did what I wanted and they punished me. Not just my parents, but my sisters, too. I ceased to exist.
His dark gaze held her captive. She liked being held by him, which was crazy, because he was the enemy. Only, right this second, he didnt seem so bad.
You exist to me, he said.
If only that were true. Reluctantly she pushed away and stood on her own.
I dont, she said. I have no idea what your engagement game is about, but I know its not about me.
How can you say that? Youre the one Ive chosen.
Why? she asked. I think youre being stubborn and difficult. You dont care about me. You never did.
He frowned. How can you say that? Ten years ago I asked you to marry me.
What does that have to do with anything? If youd really loved me, you wouldnt have let me go. But you didnt care when I left. I walked away and you never once came after me to find out why.
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