Around you, Im not sure of anything. Then she doubled up her fists and thumped the sides of her legs in frustration. And, I dont think I was supposed to tell you something like that. Damn it all to hell, I am not good at this stuff.
She stomped away, leaving East to make of her outburst what he would. Then he remembered his caller and put the phone back to his ear.
Ally sat on the terrace with her chin in her hands, staring out at the Pacific. This whole thing was a fiasco. Jonah must have been desperate to even consider someone like her for this task. She kept wanting to blurt out the reason she was here and get it over with. Subterfuge was a part of her life, but shed never used it on one of the good guys. Deceiving East didnt feel right and the longer she played the part of a stressed-out operative, the closer it came to being the truth. If she told him now, the worst that could happen was hed just tell her to get lost. Then all she had to do was tell Jonah she failed.
She sighed.
Therein lay part of her problem. In all of Allys life, shed never failed at anything, except maybe relationships.
Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully as she continued to watch the breakers slamming against the rocks. There had to be a way to accomplish this.
A few moments later, a waiter brought her food, with the comment that he would serve Easts order when he arrived.
Ally nodded.
Will there be anything else? he asked.
Not right now, she said. Thanks.
She reached for the side dish of peanut butter as he walked away and began carefully smearing each square in her waffle with an equal amount of the rich, creamy spread. Once having achieved symmetry, she did the same with the grape jelly until the waffle was all but obliterated beneath the concoction. Then, with a knife and fork, she cut into the waffle, separating a perfect three-square by three-square bite and popped it into her mouth. Her eyes rolled with appreciation as she began to chew.
East stood in the doorway leading out to the terrace, stealing a moment to watch Ally unobserved. At first glance, there wasnt anything really remarkable about her. She was of average height, without an ounce of spare flesh on her body. Her clothes were ordinary; a pair of navy slacks and a white, linen shirt hanging loose about her hips. Her hair was short and capped her head in a thicket of auburn curls and her eyes were the color of new grass. And yet as he watched her methodically preparing her food, he understood her need for control.
He could only imagine what it must have been like for a child such as she; born with an intelligence beyond understanding into a family that didnt have time for her, she must have felt like a misfit from the beginning. He didnt know, but he would guess shed never had a best friend in her life and wondered if, as a child, shed ever spent the night giggling with other girls or playing with dolls. Being a SPEAR operative wasnt conducive to gathering close friends, either. Too many secrets that couldnt be shared.
When she slowly and carefully cut another perfect square of waffle and popped it into her mouth, he was struck by an overwhelming urge to lean over her shoulder and take a great big bite out of the middle of that waffle just to see what shed do when things went out of control.
At that moment, her waiter stopped at her table and topped off her coffee. When she lifted her head to smile and thank him, East pictured himself leaning down and tasting the peanut butter and jelly waffle on her lips. In spite of how physically resilient he knew she must be, there was something very fragile about her insecure smile and the curve of her cheek.
But hed been too accustomed to denying himself to do anything so foolish as to get involved with a womanespecially an operative. After what hed done, he didnt deserve happiness. It was enough that he was still alive. The kid
hed hit with his car was not.
He shoved aside his personal feelings as he strode to their table and took his seat. Looks good, he said, pointing toward the food on her plate as the waiter filled his cup.
Umm, she nodded, still chewing.
Your food is ready, sir, the waiter said. Ill be right back with it.
Good, Im starved, East said, taking a careful sip of the hot brew in his cup.
Suddenly, Ally gasped as a seagull swooped into their line of vision, filched a piece of left-over toast from a nearby table that had yet to be bussed and then disappeared over the roof of the hotel.
Theyre pests, but this is their territory and theres little we can do about them if we choose to eat outdoors.
I rather like them, Ally said. I just wasnt expecting it, thats all.
East watched her pick up her knife and start to cut through her food, again sectioning off that same three-by-three square bite. Her forehead was knotted in serious concentration and she was gripping her knife and fork so hard that her knuckles were almost white. He frowned, believing that she was closer to a breakdown than he first suspected. Instinctively, his need to help her kicked in and he leaned forward.