time he's been broody and distracted, and to be honest I might as well not be there.
I feel like crying with disappointment. I just don't understand it. It was going so well. We
were getting on so fantastically. What went wrong?
'I'll just go and freshen up,' I say, as our main-course plates are removed, and Jack simply
nods.
The Ladies is more like a palace than a loo, with gold mirrors, plushy chairs and a woman in
uniform to give you a towel. For a moment I feel a bit shy about phoning Lissy in front of her,
but she must have seen it all before, mustn't she?
'Hi,' I say, as Lissy picks up. 'It's me.'
'Emma! How's it going?'
'It's awful,' I say dolefully.
'What do you mean?' she says in horror. 'How can it be awful? What's happened?'
'That's the worst thing.' I slump into a chair. 'It all started off brilliantly. We were laughing
and joking, and the restaurant's amazing, and he'd ordered this special menu just for me, all
full of my favourite things'
I swallow hard. Now I put it like that, it does all sound pretty perfect.
'It sounds wonderful,' says Lissy in astonishment. 'So how come-'
'So then he had this call on his mobile.' I blow my nose. 'And ever since, he's barely said a
word to me. He keeps disappearing off to take calls, and I'm left on my own, and when he
comes back the conversation's all strained and stilted, and he's obviously only half paying
attention.'
'Maybe he's worried about something, but he doesn't want to burden you with it,' says Lissy
after a pause.
'That's true,' I say slowly. 'He does look pretty hassled.'
'Maybe something awful has happened but he doesn't want to ruin the mood. Just try talking
to him. Share his worries!'
'OK,' I say, feeling more cheerful. 'OK, I'll try that. Thanks, Lissy.'
I walk back to the table feeling slightly more positive. A waiter materializes to help me with
my chair, and as I sit down, I give Jack the warmest, most sympathetic look I can muster.
'Jack, is everything OK?'
He frowns.
'Why do you say that?'
'Well, you keep disappearing off. I just wondered if there was anything you wanted to talk
about.'
'It's fine,' he says curtly. 'Thanks.' His tone is very much 'subject closed' but I'm not going to
give up that easily.
'Have you had some bad news?'
'No.'
'Is it a business thing?' I persist. 'Or or is it some kind of personal'
Jack looks up, a sudden flash of anger in his face.
'I said, it's nothing. Quit it.'
Great. That puts me in my place, doesn't it?
'Would you both care for dessert?' A waiter's voice interrupts me, and I give him a strained
smile.
'Actually, I don't think so.'
I've had enough of this evening. I just want to get it over and go home.
'Very well.' The waiter smiles at me. 'Any coffee?'
'She does want dessert,' says Jack, over my head.
What? What did he just say? The waiter looks at me hesitantly.
'No I don't!' I say firmly.
'Come on, Emma,' says Jack, and now his warm, teasing tone is back. 'You don't have to
pretend with me. You told me on the plane, this is what you always say. You say you don't
want a dessert, when really, you do.'
'Well, this time, I really don't.'
'It's specially created for you.' Jack leans forward. 'Haagen-Dazs, meringue, Bailey's sauce on
the side'
Suddenly I feel completely patronized. How does he know what I want? Maybe I just want
fruit. Maybe I want nothing. He has no idea about me. None at all.
'I'm not hungry.' I push my chair back.
'Emma, I know you. You want it, really-'
'You don't know me!' I cry angrily, before I can stop myself. 'Jack, you may know a few
random facts about me. But that doesn't mean you know me!'
'What?' Jack stares at me.
'If you knew me,' I say in a trembling voice, 'you would have realized that when I go out
to
dinner with someone, I like them to listen to what I'm saying. I like them to treat me with a bit
of respect, and not tell me to "quit it" when all I'm doing is trying to make conversation'
Jack is staring at me in astonishment.
'Emma, are you OK?'
'No. I'm not OK! You've practically ignored me all evening.'
'That's not fair.'
'You have! You've been on autopilot. Ever since your mobile phone started going'
'Look.' Jack rubs his face. 'A few things are going on in my life at the moment, they're very
important-'
'Fine. Well, let them go on without me.'
Tears are stinging my eyes as I stand up and reach for my bag. I so wanted this to be a perfect
evening. I had such high hopes. I can't believe it's gone so wrong.
'That's right! You tell him!' the woman in gold supportively calls from across the room. 'You
know, this girl's got a lovely husband of her own,' she exclaims to Jack. 'She doesn't need
you!'
'Thank you for dinner,' I say, staring fixedly at the tablecloth, as one of the waiters magically
appears at my side with my coat.
'Emma,' says Jack, getting to his feet in disbelief. 'You're not seriously going.'
'l am.'
'Give it another chance. Please. Stay and have some coffee. I promise I'll talk-'