'I don't think so,' she says at last, turning back.
'Well, how about the guy in the grey T-shirt?' I say, gesturing hopefully. 'Is he in a boy band
or something?'
'Mmm no. I don't think so.'
There's silence as we look at each other.
'Is anyone famous here?' I say at last.
'Celebrities aren't guaranteed!' says Lissy defensively.
'I know! But you'd think-'
'Hi!' A voice interrupts us and we both look round, to see two of the girls in jeans approaching
our table. One of them is smiling at me nervously. 'I hope you don't mind, but my friends and
I were just wondering aren't you that new one in Hollyoaks ?'
Oh, for God's sake.
Anyway.
I don't care. We didn't come here to see tacky celebrities taking coke and showing
off. We just came to have a nice quiet drink together.
We order strawberry daiquiris and some luxury mixed nuts (?4.50, for a small bowl. Don't
even ask how much the drinks cost). And I have to admit, I feel a bit more relaxed now I
know there's no-one famous to impress.
'How's your work going?' I ask, as I sip my drink.
'Oh, it's fine,' says Lissy with a vague shrug. 'I saw the Jersey Fraudster today.'
The Jersey Fraudster is this client of Lissy's who keeps being charged with fraud and
appealing and because Lissy's so brilliant getting let out. One minute he's wearing
handcuffs, the next he's dressed in hand-made suits and taking her to lunch at the Ritz.
'He tried to buy me a diamond brooch,' says Lissy, rolling her eyes. 'He had this Asprey's
catalogue and he kept saying "That one's rather jolly." And I was like, "Humphrey, you're in
prison! Concentrate!"' She shakes her head, takes a sip of her drink, and looks up. 'So what
about your man?'
I know at once she means Jack, but I don't want to admit that's where my mind has leapt to, so
I attempt a blank look and say, 'Who, Connor?'
'No, you dope! Your stranger on the plane. The one who knows everything about you.'
'Oh him .' I feel a flush coming to my cheeks, and look down at my embossed paper coaster.
'Yes, him! Have you managed to avoid him?'
'No,' I admit. 'He won't bloody leave me alone.'
I break off as a waiter puts two fresh strawberry daiquiris on the table. When he's gone, Lissy
gives me a close look.
'Emma, do you fancy this guy?'
'No, of course I don't fancy him,' I say hotly. 'He just disconcerts me, that's all. It's a
completely natural reaction. You'd be the same. Anyway, it's fine. I only have to get through
until Friday. Then he'll be gone.'
'And then you'll be moving in with Connor.' Lissy takes a sip of her daiquiri and leans
forward. 'You know, I reckon he's going to ask you to marry him!'
I feel a tiny lurch in my stomach, which is probably just my drink going down or something.
'You're so lucky,' says Lissy wistfully. 'You know, he put up those shelves in my room the
other day without even asking! How many men would do that?'
'I know. He's just great.' There's a pause, and I start to shred my paper coaster into little
bits. 'I suppose the only tiny little thing would be that it's not that romantic any more.'
'You can't expect it to be romantic for ever,' says Lissy. 'Things change. It's natural to become
a bit more steady.'
'Oh, I know that!' I say. 'We're two mature, sensible people, and we're having a loving, steady
relationship! Which, you know, is just what I want out of life. Except' I clear my throat
awkwardly. 'We don't have sex that often any more'
'That's a common problem in long-term relationships,' says Lissy knowledgeably. 'You need
to spice it up.'
'With what?'
'Have you tried handcuffs?'
'No! Have you?' I stare at Lissy, riveted.
'A long time ago,' she says with a dismissive shrug. 'They weren't all that Um why not
try doing it somewhere different. Try doing it at work!'
At work! Now, that's a good idea. Lissy is so clever.
'OK!'I say. 'I'll try that!'
I reach for my bag, get out a pen and write 'shag@work' on my hand, next to where I've
written 'nb: darling'.
Suddenly I'm filled with fresh enthusiasm. This is a brilliant plan. I'll shag Connor at work
tomorrow, and it will be the best sex we've ever had, and the sparkle will come back, and
we'll be madly in love again. Easy. And that will show Jack Harper.
No. This is nothing to do with Jack Harper. I don't know why that slipped out.
There's only one tiny hitch to my scheme. Which is that it's not quite as easy to shag your
boyfriend at work as you'd think. I hadn't quite appreciated before how open everything is in
our office. And how many glass partitions there are. And how many people there are, walking
around all the time.
By eleven o'clock the next morning I still haven't managed to put a game plan together. I think
I'd kind of pictured doing it behind a pot plant somewhere. But now I actually look at them,
pot plants are tiny! And all frondy. There's no way Connor and I would be able to hide behind
one, let alone risk any movement.
We can't do it in the loos. The girls' loos always have people in there, gossiping and putting