It will be better, said Sally, when we can afford a larger house. Just have patience. And, in the meantime, suppose we tidy this room a little. She stooped to pick up the brown paper at her feet and revealed the chemistry set. Wherever did you get this?
The OJack gave it to me just now, said Johnny.
Sallys worn face broke into an enchanted smile. Wasnt that kind of him! she exclaimed. She picked up the lid of the box and examined it lovingly. They watched her glumly. Quite the worst part of the whole business was the way the Ogre seemed to have cast a spell on their mother, so that whatever he did she thought he was right. How lavish! she said. Non-toxic, guaranteed non-explosive Oh, you must be pleased with this, Johnny!
He gave one to Malcolm too, Johnny said.
That was thoughtful, said Sally. Then he wont feel left out.
But we do, Mummy, said Gwinny. He didnt give anything to me and Caspar. Or Douglas, she added, not wishing the Ogre to outdo her in fairness.
Oh, I do wish youd be reasonable, Guinevere, said Sally unreasonably. You know were hard up just now. Come and set the table and stop complaining. And this room is to be tidy before supper. Ill ask Jack to make an inspection.
This threat was enough to cause Johnny and Caspar a little energetic work. By the time the Ogres heavy feet were heard on the stairs, Caspar had piled books, papers and records in a sort of heap by the wall, and Johnny had pushed most of the construction kits under his bed and the cupboard, so that, apart from the chemistry set, the floor was almost clear.
The Ogre stood in the doorway, with his hands in his pockets and his pipe in his mouth and looked round the room with distaste. You do like to live in squalor, dont you? he said. I suppose all those toffee bars are an essential part of your diet? OK. Ill report a clear floor. How are you getting on with that chemistry set?
I like it, Johnny said, with a polite smile. But Ive been too busy clearing up to use it yet.
The Ogres heavy eyebrows went up and he looked rather pointedly round the room. Ill leave you to it, then, he said. A thought struck him. I suppose I ought in fairness to make a surprise inspection over the way, he said. They watched him turn and walk across the landing. They saw him open the door to Malcolms and Douglass room. They waited hopefully. It would be wonderful if, for once, it was those two who got into trouble.
Nothing happened, however, except for a surprisingly strong stench, which swept across the landing and made Caspar cough. Malcolms voice followed it. This chemistry set is positively brilliant, Father! Look at this.
Having fun, are you? said the Ogre, and he shut the door rather hastily and went downstairs.
Pooh! said Caspar.
I just like that! said Johnny. If it had been us making a smell like that, we wouldnt half have got it! All right then. Watch me after supper. Ill make the worst stink you ever smelt, and if he says anything, Ill say, what about Malcolm?
Johnny was as good as his word. After supper, he set to work in the middle of the carpet, mixing all the strongest and likeliest-looking things from the various tubes and phials and heating them with the spirit lamp to see what happened. When he found a good smell, he poured it carefully into a toothmug and mixed another. The savour of the room went through rotten cabbage, elderly egg, mouldy melon, gasworks and bad breath; blue smoke hung about in it. Caspar, who was lying on his bed doing history homework, coughed considerably, but he bore it in a good cause.
When Gwinny came in instead of going to bed, she was exquisitely disgusted. She sat beside Johnny in her pink nightdress, wriggling her bare toes and pretending to smoke one of the Ogres pipes that she had stolen. Eeugh! she said, and peered at Johnnys flushed face through the gathering smoke. We look like a witches convent. Caspar looks like a devil looming through the smoke.
Coven, said Caspar. Devil yourself.
Giggling, Gwinny stuck her spiky hair out round her head and carefully tapped some of the ash out of the pipe into the toothmug. The mixture fizzed a little. Do you think itll explode now? she asked hopefully.
Shouldnt think so, said Johnny. Move, or youll get burnt.
Is it smelly enough? asked Gwinny.
I still havent found the one Malcolm got, admitted Johnny.
Try a dead fish or so. That should do it, Caspar suggested. Gwinny squealed with laughter.
Gwinny! boomed the voice of the Ogre. Are you in bed?
Gwinny dropped the pipe, jumped up and fled. In her hurry, she knocked the toothmug flying and Johnny was too late to save it.
Half the mixture spilt on the carpet. The rest splashed muddily on Gwinnys legs and nightdress. Gwinny squealed again as she raced for the door. Its cold! But she dared not stop to apologise. She continued racing, up the next stairs and into her little room on the top floor. She left behind her the most appalling smell. It was worlds worse than the one Malcolm had produced. It was so horrible that it awed them. They were staring at one another in silence, when Gwinny began to scream.