At her request several Rangers immediately began to take off their shirts, but Bigfoot Wallace made no move to remove his, and his was the only shirt large enough to cover much of Matty Roberts.
I guess you wont be sashaying around naked much longer, Matty, he observed, sipping his chickory.
Why not? I aint stingy about offering my customers a look, Matilda said, rejecting several of the proffered shirts.
Bigfoot nodded toward the north, where a dark tone on the horizon contrasted with the bright sunlight.
One of our fine blue northers is about to whistle in, he informed her. Youll have icicles hanging off your twat, in another hour, if you dont cover it up.
I wouldnt need to cover it up if anyone around here was prosperous enough to warm it up, Matilda said, but she did note that the northern horizon had turned a dark blue. Several Rangers observed the same fact, and began to pull on long Johns or other garments that might be of use against a norther. Bigfoot Wallace was known to have an excellent eye for weather. Even Matilda respected itshe strolled over to her pallet and pulled on a pair of blacksmiths overalls that she had taken in payment for a brief engagement in Fredericksburg. She had a tattered capote, acquired some years earlier in Pennsylvania, and she put that on too. A blue norther could quickly suck the warmth out of the air, even on a nice sunny day.
Well, weve conquered a turtle, I guess, Major Chevallie said, standing up. I suppose that Mexican diedI dont hear much noise from across the river.
If hes lucky, he died, Bigfoot said. It was just three Indians Comanches, Id figure. I doubt three Comanches would pause more than one night to cut up a Mexican.
About that time Josh Corn and Ezekiel Moody came walking back to camp from the sandhill where they had been standing guard. Josh Corn was a little man, only about half the size of his tall friend. Both were surprised to see a sizable snapping turtle kicking its legs in the air, not much more than arms length from the coffeepot.
Whys everybody dressing up, is there going to be a parade? Josh asked, noting that several Rangers were in the process of pulling on clothes.
That Mexican didnt have no way to kill himself, Bob Bascom remarked. He didnt have no gun.
No, but he had a knife, Bigfoot reminded him. A knifes adequate, if you know where to cut.
Where would you cutIve wondered, Gus asked, abruptly leaving Call to contemplate the Mexican mustang alone. He was a Ranger on the wild frontier now and needed to imbibe as much technical information as possible about methods of suicide, when in danger of capture by hostiles with a penchant for torture.
No Comanches going to be quick enough to sew up your jugular vein, if you whack it through in two or three places, Bigfoot said. Aware that several of the Rangers were inexpert in such matters, he stretched his long neck and put his finger on the spot where the whacking should be done.
Its right here, he said. You could even
poke into it with a big mesquite thorn, or whack at it with a broken bottle, if youre left without no knife.
Long Bill Coleman felt a little queasy, partly because of the mescal and partly from the thought of having to stick a thorn in his neck in order to avoid Comanche torture.Me, Ill shoot myself in the head if Ive got time, Long Bill said. Well, but that can go wrong, Bigfoot informed him. Once set in an instructional direction, he didnt like to turn until he had given a thorough lecture. Bigfoot considered himself to be practical to a faultif a man had to kill himself in a hurry, it was best to know exactly how to proceed.
Dont go sticking no gun in your mouth, unless its a shotgun, he advised, noting that Long Bill looked a little green. Probably the alkaline water didnt agree with him.
Why not, its hard to miss your head if youve got a gun in your mouth, Ezekiel Moody commented.
No, it aint, Bigfoot said. The bullet could glance off a bone and come out your ear. Youd still be healthy enough that they could torture you for a week. Shove the barrel of the gun up against an eyeball and pullthats sure. Your brains will get blown out the back of your headthen if some squaw comes along and chews off your balls and your pecker, you wont know the difference.
My, this is a cheery conversation, Major Chevallie said. I wish Matilda would come back and remove this turtle.
Id like to go back and have another look at them tracks, Bigfoot said. It was about dark when I seen them. Another look couldnt hurt.
It could hurt if the Comanches that got that Mexican caught you, Josh Corn remarked.
Why, those boys are halfway to the Brazos, by now, Bigfoot said, just as Matilda returned to the campfire. She squatted down by the turtle and watched it wiggle, a happy expression on her broad face. She had a hatchet in one hand and a small bowie knife in the other.
Them turtles dont turn loose of you till it thunders, once they got aholt of you, Ezekiel said. Matilda Roberts ignored this hackneyed opinion. She caught the turtle right by the head, held its jaws shut, and slashed at its neck with the little bowie knife. The whole company watched, even Call. Several of the men had traveled the Western frontier all their lives. They considered themselves to be experienced men, but none of them had ever seen a whore decapitate a snapping turtle before.