I dont know why I even try, its going to be dumb.
I cant Saturday, Shauna is having her bat mitzvah.
Bat mitzvah? Ha. He was sweating at his temples from coaching us. You going to go make out with some Jewish dudes at the bat mitzvah?
No, but shes my friend.
I know shes your friend, shes greata little horsy in the face, butno, sorry, thats mean, I didnt mean that. Look, you should go, but if you did this for me, Id consider it a personal favor. I dont think Ill be out late. Im going out with a teacher . Just bring your dress and you can change at my place and Ill drive you to the party after.
I thought about it and then I said okay. Shauna Woo was on the team. She was nice, but also just a girl. Her dad was Asian and her mom was Jewish. She was rich and she had just about everything, but she had been bitten on the face by a dog when she was younger. There were two jagged lines across her left temple and the top of her cheek.
On Saturday I went to Mr. Bs at five thirty and he left for his date. His son, Michael, was five, he had a round head that was a little pointy on top, and unlike Mr. B he was blond. He was nice but he was just a kid, empty and selfish. He sat on the floor and looked up at the TV and played his video game.
What are you playing?
The Legend of Zelda. He was controlling a green elf walking around a graveyard.
What are you doing with that flute?
Its an ocarina. It does stuff. Like, you can call fairies, or call your horse. The elf played a song on the flute and day turned to night and then lightning hit a grave and it exploded. Then the elf jumped into the grave.
My older sister, Tiff, had given me a joint for the weekend and I went out on the porch and lit it. It was nice to smoke alone. I leaned on the wooden rail and it was wet from dew but I leaned on it anyway. The sky was black with a dark blueness at the horizon, and different from a Phoenix sky, sadder. I watched the blueness sink below the houses until there was only black and stars. I smoked half the joint and licked my fingers and put out the end and put the unsmoked half in my Reds pack. I lit a cigarette and sucked hard. Shauna and everyone were at the party already. She had become a woman that day, but she would always have her scars.
When I went back in Michael was still playing. The elf was riding on a horse, galloping across a grass valley. I told Michael he should stop playing so we could watch a movie. Mr. B had a videotape of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Michael said he wasnt allowed to watch it but I let him. We sat on the couch together. Sex in a baseball dugout, sex in a pool house, an abortion. The joint made all of it funny. Michael didnt laugh or say anything. He was really quiet when the boobs and vaginas came out. Then it ended.
I dont want to go to bed, he said. I picked him up and carried him into his room. I put him under the blankets and I lay next to him above the blankets. I guess he should have brushed his teeth but I thought, Fuck it. There was nothing to say because he was a little kid. I stared at the ceiling. I thought about my sister. Sometimes we laughed so much that I thought wed never stop. But we hadnt done it much lately; she had a boyfriend now. Then Michael was asleep.
At eight Mr. B came home. What are you watching? he said. I was watching Cheers. He sat on the couch a little away from me. On TV Cliff was joking with Norm and Sam. He said, Well, ya see, Norm, its like this. . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. . . . He was going to tell a joke but Mr. B started talking. Well, that was a shitty date.
What happened? I said.
Nothing. Thats the thing with teachers, its always nothing . Boring. I feel like Im back in school or something. I cant believe you have to listen to those people every day. At least I can go home if I want. He laughed at his joke.
I dont listen, I said.
You dont? You listen to me .
Well, yeah, of course I do that, Coach. I smiled because I liked him.
You fucking
in front of a train at the East Meadow crossing.
My stepdad knew his dad, said Ivan. Said he was a prick, probably why the kid killed himself.
We walked across Arastadero to Gunn. There was a large electronic billboard on a post. Above the electronic part there was a black part with fancy red lettering that said GUNN and TITANS. The electronic part said, BEAT PALY! GO TITAN FOOTBALL. 10/10, 6 P.M. Paly was going to be our high school the next year.
We walked through campus. The buildings were made of cement, and in the dark the place was like a bunker. We made our way through the shadows to a grassy area. In the center was a huge oak tree that rose above the roofs of the classrooms. There was moonlight all around and it made the top of the tree silver-white. The ground was a little wet but we sat on the big roots, which were dry. We all leaned our backs against the trunk. Teddy had a little bottle of peach schnapps and he passed it around. I asked if they wanted some of the joint Id been smoking and we passed that around.