at Guy. Thats how the world works. Isnt it?
He didnt answer.
She turned her gaze back to the river. After Dads contract ended with Air America, we tried it for a while in San Francisco. He worked for a commuter airline. And Mom and I, well, we just enjoyed living in a town without mortars and grenades going off. But She sighed. It didnt last. Dad got bored. I guess he missed the old adrenaline high. And the glory. So he went back.
They got divorced?
He never asked for one. And Mom wouldnt hear of it anyway. She loved him. Willys voice dropped. She still loves him.
He went back to Laos alone, huh?
Signed up for another two years. Guess he preferred the company of danger junkies. They were all like that, those A.A. pilotsall volunteers, not drafteesall of em laughing death in the face. I think flying was the only thing that gave them a rush, made them feel alive. Mustve been the ultimate high for Dad. Dying.
And here you are, over twenty years later.
Thats right. Here I am.
Looking for a man you dont give a damn about. Why?
Its not me asking the questions. Its my mother. Shes never wanted much. Not from me, not from anyone. But this was something she had to know.
A dying wish.
Willy nodded. Thats the one nice thing about cancer. You get some time to tie up the loose ends. And my father is one hell of a big loose end.
Kistner gave you the official verdictyour fathers dead. Doesnt that tie things up?
Not after all the lies weve been told.
Whos lied to you?
She laughed. Who hasnt? Believe me, weve made the rounds. Weve talked to the Joint Casualty Resolution Committee. Defense Intelligence. The CIA. They all had the same advicedrop it.
Maybe they have a point.
Maybe theyre hiding the truth.
Which is?
That Dad survived the crash.
Whats your evidence?
She studied Guy for a moment, wondering how much to tell him. Wondering why shed already told him as much as she had. She knew nothing about him except that he had fast reflexes and a sense of humor. That his eyes were brown, and his grin distinctly crooked. And that, in his own rumpled way, he was the most attractive man shed ever met.
That last thought was as jolting as a bolt of lightning on a clear summers day. But he was attractive. There was nothing she could specifically point to that made him that way. Maybe it was his self-assurance, the confident way he carried himself. Or maybe its the damn whiskey, she thought. Thats why she was feeling so warm inside, why her knees felt as if they were about to buckle.
She gripped the steel railing. My mother and I, weve had, well, hints that secrets have been kept from us.
Anything concrete?
Would you call an eyewitness concrete?
Depends on the eyewitness.
A Lao villager.
He saw your father?
No, thats the whole pointhe didnt.
Im confused.
Right after the plane went down, she explained, Dads buddies printed up leaflets advertising a reward of two kilos of gold to anyone who brought in proof of the crash. The leaflets were dropped along the border and all over Pathet Lao territory. A few weeks later a villager came out of the jungle to claim the reward. He said hed found the wreckage of a plane, that it had crashed just inside the Vietnam border. He described it right down to the number on the tail. And he swore there were only two bodies on board, one in the cargo hold, another in the cockpit. The plane had a crew of three.
What did the investigators say about that?
We didnt hear this from them. We learned about it only after the classified report got stuffed into our mailbox, with a note scribbled From a friend. I think one of Dads old Air America buddies got wind of a cover-up and decided to let the family know about it.
Guy was standing absolutely still, like a cat in the shadows. When he spoke, she could tell by his voice that he was very, very interested.
What did your mother do then? he asked.
She pursued it, of course. She wouldnt give up. She hounded the CIA. Air America. She got nothing out of them. But she did get a few anonymous phone calls telling her to shut up.
Or?
Or shed learn things about Dad she didnt want to know. Embarrassing things.
Other women? What?
This was the part that made Willy angry. She could barely bring herself to talk about it. They implied She let out a breath. They implied he was working for the other side. That he was a traitor.
There was a pause. And you dont believe it, he said softly.
Her chin shot up. Hell, no, I dont believe
it! Not a word. It was just their way to scare us off. To keep us from digging up the truth. It wasnt the only stunt they pulled. When we kept asking questions, they stopped release of Dads back pay, which by then was somewhere in the tens of thousands. Anyway, we floundered around for a while, trying to get information. Then the war ended, and we thought wed finally hear the answers. We watched the POWs come back. It was tough on Mom, seeing all those reunions on TV. Hearing Nixon talk about our brave men finally coming home. Because hers didnt. But we were surprised to hear of one man who did make it homeone of the crew members on Dads plane.