Chapter 8
Up in his room he saw his reflection in the familiar mirror he went closer and examined his own face with worry, comparing it after a moment with a photograph of himself in uniform taken just before the war.
«Good Lord!» he said aloud. The process was continuing. There was no doubt of it he looked now like a man of thirty. He was not delighted, he was uneasy he was growing younger. He had hoped until that moment that when he reached a physical age equal to his age in years, the grotesque phenomenon which had marked his birth would stop. He trembled. His future seemed to him awful, incredible.
When he came downstairs Hildegarde was waiting for him. She seemed irritated, and he wondered if she had at last discovered that there was something wrong with him. He made an effort to break the uneasiness between them when he mentioned the matter at dinner in what he considered a tactful way.
«Well», he remarked, «everybody says I look younger than ever».
Hildegarde looked at him scornfully and grumbled, «Do you think it's anything to boast about?»
«I'm not boasting», he said uncomfortably.
«I think you have enough dignity to stop it», she said after a moment.
«How can I?» he demanded.
«I'm not going to argue with you», she answered angrily. «But there's a right way of doing things and a wrong way. If you've made up your mind to be different from everybody else, I don't suppose I can stop you, but I really don't think it's very tactful».
«But, Hildegarde, I can't help it ».
«Yes, you can. You're simply stubborn. You think you don't want to be like anyone else. You always have been that way, and you always will be. But just think how it would be if every one else looked at things as you do what would the world be like?»
Benjamin thought there was no answer to that stupid argument and didn't say anything, and from that moment a misunderstanding between them began to grow. He wondered what possible charm she had ever had over him.
In addition to the breakup, he found, as the new century started, that his desire for amusements grew stronger. He was at every party of the city of Baltimore, danced with the prettiest of the young married women, chatted with the most popular of the debutantes , and found their company charming, while his wife sat among other older women who came to watch their children, and now followed him in disapproval with jealous, puzzled, and scornful eyes.
«Look!» people remarked. «What a pity! A young fellow that age married to a woman of forty-five. He must be twenty years younger than his wife». They had forgotten as people often forget that back in 1880 their mothers and fathers had also remarked about this same strange couple.
Benjamin's growing unhappiness at home was compensated for by his many new interests. He started playing golf and made a great success of it. He started to enjoy dancing: in 1906 he was an expert at «The Boston», in 1908 he was the best at the «Maxixe», and in 1909 every young man in town
was jealous of his «Castle Walk».
His social life, of course, influenced his business partly, but he felt that after twenty-five years of hard work at wholesale hardware, he could soon hand it over to his son, Roscoe, who had recently graduated from Harvard.
He and his son were, in fact, often mistaken for each other. This pleased Benjamin he soon forgot the secret fear which had come over him on his return from the Spanish-American War, and now took a natural pleasure in his appearance. There was only one fly in the ointment he hated to appear in public with his wife. Hildegarde was almost fifty, and the sight of her made him feel absurd
Chapter 9
He almost immediately got a leading position in the class, partly because he seemed a little older than the other freshmen, whose age was about eighteen.
But his real success was due to the fact that in the football game with Yale he played so well, with so much energy and with such a cold anger that he scored seven touchdowns and fourteen field goals for Harvard, and as a result eleven of Yale men were carried one by one from the field in despair. He became the most celebrated man in college.
Strangely enough , in his third year he was hardly able to play football. Everybody noticed that he had become much thinner and was not quite as tall as before. He made no touchdowns indeed, the team kept him only in hope that his enormous reputation would bring terror to the Yale team.