****
It was movie night again. I was trying hard to hide how disappointed I was, but it wasnt quite working. Id been pretty cold to Robert over the past couple of days; I even told him to pick the movie this time, even though I always had, ever since wed started this little family tradition.
I settled into the couch, not asking what it was. I pulled my phone out to shoot Caleb a quick text.
Are you okay, honey? He seemed pained by the way I was treating him. My indifference to him was taking its toll, just like I knew it would.
Im fine, I responded, not looking up.
He reached out and touched my arm. If somethings wrong, you can let me know, okay?
I just told you nothings wrong, I snapped, injecting annoyance into my voice until it came out as a full-on bratty whine. I pulled my arm away. God.
He didnt say anything. I stuck
to my end of the couch, withholding my affection from him. Lets see how he likes it , I thought. I flicked my eyes up to his face for a second, just to check out the results. Good. He was holding his hurt in. It was plain as day to me. Now all I had to do was twist the knife a little. It was totally unlike me, but I was pissed. Just because Robert thought I was his little possession, didnt mean I was going to let him ruin my whole future.
I cant go to the cabin next Sunday, either. Im going shopping with Melanie and Vanessa.
He didnt say anything. He watched the screen stonily for a second before he turned to me. But you love going there. You were so excited about it.
Well I guess now Im not. I couldnt believe the words I was saying. I was being such a brat. Roberts face looked like it was being deflated. Id never seen him look so hurt before, about anything. I felt an acidic pang in my stomach. There was no reason to take it this far. Just because I knew his only weakness, it didnt mean I had to use it to hurt him like this.
Okay, sweetheart. Are you sure?
It felt wrenching to tell him, but I stubbornly forced myself to say the words: Im sure.
Okay. The expression on Roberts face was one of complete destruction. He turned away from me for a moment, ostensibly to adjust the cushion behind him.
I felt bad, but I wanted to get my way. I wasn't going to sit at home when I should be having a life.
I felt even worse when I saw the movie. It was Pitch Perfect , my favorite. Id asked him to choose, and of course he had picked the one he knew I liked the most. I put my phone away guiltily and glanced at Robert again. He was staring straight ahead, his face expressionless. I melted a little and scooted towards him, taking up my familiar position on the couch with my head on his leg. I wanted him to play with my hair, or touch me, or do something. But he didnt lift a finger; he just sat there coldly.
The movie ended, and I was still wide awake.
****
Are you sure this is okay? Caleb asked. I had just got off lifeguarding, and we were hanging around my house. I rolled my eyes.
Its fine. My daddy doesnt get home for another two hours. He has a board meeting.
Caleb took a sip of his yerba mate and shifted on the couch uncomfortably. Why do you always call him that? Your daddy? Its not like youre a little girl.
I was annoyed with Caleb--I didnt always call Robert daddy ; just sometimes. Because thats what he is. You should be kissing my ass right now. I managed to make him let me go to Sonic Emergence.
Really? You made it sound like he was really pissed about my DUI. Oh man, Sonic Emergence is going to be so heady! Its going to be too trip!
He is pissed. In fact, Im not supposed to see you again, ever. And he doesnt actually know Im going to Sonic Emergence. I told him Im going to go shopping with Melanie and Vanessa instead.
Heady. Too trip. I was so irritated.
Why did you have to get that stupid DUI? You were at the beach and it was crowded. You knew the cops were going to be near. That was really stupid. I felt like hitting him.
It wasnt my fault-- Caleb whined, just as the front door slammed open. I froze in my seat. Robert was standing there in his business suit with a phone pressed against his ear. For a moment, he seemed too annoyed with something to even look up at us. He loosened his tie as he walked in, and I swore I could see his veins bulging in his neck. That board meeting hadnt gone too well, I gathered.
His expression didnt change as he walked into the house. Shit , I thought. Look at what Caleb had got me into now . Robert was clearly pissed about something already; he probably wouldnt have any patience left over for me...or Caleb for that matter.
Emily, what are you doing? he finally hissed. This little annoyance of finding me with Caleb, on top of whatever shit storm had just occurred, would likely send him over the edge. "Quit saying, 'Im sorry', Robert fumed to the person on the other end of the call. Sorry isnt good enough. How could you let them persuade you that reducing our equity was a good decision? You need to be talking to me. Look, Ill call you back. Somethings come up thats more important than your little fuck-up."