She did not understand his request and liked it even less, but she did not think now was the time to argue.
Hoping against hope that he would not speak while her back was to him, she turned. Talorc moved so that he had a view of both her face and the soldiers behind her. Because of his position away from the other soldiers, Guaire was the only other person whose face she coud see.
With a sick feeling, she suddenly began to realize what might be happening. Her stomach lurched while her hands grew clammy and her head buzzed with dizzy terror. She could not force herself to ask again what was happening because she feared she already knew.
She was being tested, and if what she suspected was true, the covering she had worked so hard to hide her secret behind was being ripped away with ruthless efficiency. She could pretend to hear whatever Talorc had instructed his men to do behind her. She could keep lying through her actions, if not her words, but there was no strength left in her for the subterfuge.
And it probably wouldnt work anyway.
As he stared at her, a look of horrified understanding dawned in Guaires usually warm green eyes. The horror turned to unmistakable pity as she felt the color drain from her face.
Talorc knew. They all knew. Her affliction had been laid bare.
Somehow Talorc had realized the truth of Abigails infirmity at the lake and he had brought her back here to test his new knowledge in front of his warriors. Darkness played at the edges of Abigails vision, but she refused to give in to the weakness. She would not faint.
But it took several deep breaths before her body was in agreement with the conviction of her mind.
Pain lancing through her, she faced her husband in silent entreaty.
But there was no mercy to be found in him. His countenance was so dark with anger she flinched away from him.
A look of disgust crossed his features. Have you kept so much of yourself hidden you do not know me any better than that? I will never hit you.
The words were harsh, but his expression was harsher.
It was just as she had feared. He knew she was deaf and now he hated her. She was flawed and he did not want her anymore. Like many in the Church, he believed her infirmity deserved punishment rather than compassion.
You are deaf, he said with clear antipathy, confirming her fear.
Everything inside her stilled as hope drained away to leave her hollow. The time for acknowledging the truth had come. I
Dinna lie to me, he said, interrupting her confession. Though that is all you have done since the moment of our meeting.
She shook her head. That was not true. She had hidden her affliction, but she had not lied about anything else. Not ever.
His glare turned sulfuric. You cannot deny it. I shouted a warning when I heard the swine coming through the forest, but you did not react in any way. Then, just now, I had my soldiers yell a war cry and you did not so much as twitch though such a noise would have sent even a seasoned warrior running.
I was concentrating on my pleats. And she had not been looking at him to read his lips. She did not care about what had just happened. He had only been testing the new knowledge, not discovering it.
There were many signs, I cannot believe it took me so long to realize the truth.
I had many years experience learning to hide my affliction. And she had had a compelling reason to keep it hidden, one that grew more important each dayher love for and desire to stay with the man who now hated her.
How is it that you speak? he demanded.
I did not lose my hearing to a fever until my tenth year.
And you have lied about the truth of your condition since then?
Yes.
How?
Emily.
I should have known.
Dont you denigrate her. She was the only one who cared enough to try to save me. She worked with me, hours every day, so I would continue to speak normally. I learned to read lips with her help and constant guidance. No one in our keep knew of my affliction except my mother and stepfather. And eventually, my sister Jolenta. She hated sharing the pain of her past but owed her husband as much truth as she could give him.
He did not ask if her deafness was why her mother hated her so. He must realize it was.
I told Osgard there
was no deception in you. I was a fool. She could have stood it if only anger showed in his eyes, but hurt lurked there as well.
Abigails heart broke. No.
Yes! Perhaps your bitch of a mother convinced you to lie to me initially, but you have had ample opportunity since then to admit the truth.
I was afraid.
Just like the rest of your countrymen, liars and cowards, every one of them.
No, its not like that.
He looked at Guaire. Take her to our chamber.
Talorc, please. She grabbed his arm, but he shook her off.
You have already made a fool of me, will you add to my humiliation by disobeying me in front of my warriors?
Why not? You revealed my secret in front of them.
You deceived them as well; they deserved to witness the truth, too.
I wanted a chance to fit in. She didnt expect him to understand or care. The only one who ever had was Emily, but she told him the truth anyway.