Im sorry, Penelope.
Dont waste my time with sorries, Simon. If we stop to apologize and forgive each other every time we step on each others toes, well never have time to be friends.
from chapter 4, Simon Snow and the Second Serpent, copyright © 2003 by Gemma T. Leslie
SIXTEEN
Cath didnt wake up when the door swung open.
But she jumped when it slammed closed. Thats when she felt
Levi sprawled out beneath her, the warm scrape of his chin against her forehead. Then she woke up.
Reagan was standing at the end of Caths bed, staring at them. She was still wearing last nights jeans, and her silvery blue eyeshadow had drifted onto her cheeks.
Cath sat up. And Levi sat up. Groggily. And Cath felt her stomach barreling up into her throat.
Levi reached for Caths phone and looked at it. Shit, he said. Im two hours late for work. He was up then and putting on his coat. Fell asleep reading, he said, half to Reagan, half to the floor.
Reading, Reagan said, looking at Cath.
Later, Levi said, more to the floor than to either of them.
And then he was gone. And Reagan was still standing at the end of Caths bed.
Caths eyes were sticky and sore, and suddenly full of tears. Im so sorry, she said, feeling it. Feeling it in her stomach and in every sore muscle between her shoulders. Oh my God.
Dont, Reagan said. She was obviously furious.
I Im just so sorry.
Dont. Do not apologize.
Cath crossed her legs and hunched over, holding her face. But I knew he was your boyfriend. Cath was crying now. Even though it would probably just make Reagan more angry.
Hes not my boyfriend, Reagan said, very nearly shouting. Not anymore. Not for a long time, actually. So just, dont. Reagan inhaled loudly, then let it out. I just didnt expect this to happen, she said. And, if it did happen, I didnt expect it to bother me. I just its Levi. And Levi always likes me best.
Hes not her boyfriend? He still likes you best, Cath said, trying not to whimper.
Dont be an idiot, Cather. Reagans voice was serrated. I mean, I know that you are. About this. But try not to be an idiot right this moment.
Im sorry, Cath said, trying and failing to look up at her roommate. I still dont know why I did it. I swear Im not that kind of girl.
Reagan finally turned away. She dropped her bag on the bed and grabbed her towel. What kind of girl is that, Cath? The girl kind? Im gonna take a shower. When I come back, Ill be over this.
* * *
And when she came back, she was.
Cath had curled up on her bed and let herself cry like she hadnt all Thanksgiving weekend. She found The Outsiders wedged between the bed and the wall, and threw it on the floor.
Reagan saw the book when she came back to the room. She was wearing yoga pants and a tight gray hoodie, and square brown glasses instead of contacts.
Oh, fuck, she said, picking up the book. I was supposed to help him study. She looked over at Cath. Were you actually just reading?
Not just, Cath said, her voice a hiccupy wheeze.
Stop crying, Reagan said. I mean it.
Cath closed her eyes and rolled toward the wall.
Reagan sat at the end of her own bed. Hes not my boyfriend, she said solemnly. And I knew he liked youhe was here constantly. I just didnt know that you liked him back.
I thought he was here constantly because he was your boyfriend, Cath said. I didnt want to like him back. I tried to be mean to him.
I thought you were just mean, Reagan said. I liked that about you.
Cath laughed and rubbed her eyes for the five hundredth time in twelve hours. She felt like she had pink eye.
Im over it, Reagan said. I was just surprised.
You cant be over it, Cath said, sitting up and leaning against the wall. Even if I didnt kiss your boyfriend, I thought I was kissing your boyfriend. Thats how I was going to repay you for all the nice things youve done for me.
Wow, Reagan said, when you put it that way, it is pretty fucked up.
Cath nodded miserably.
So whyd you do it?
Cath thought of Levis warmth against her arm last night. And his ten thousand smiles. And his forty-acre forehead.
She closed her eyes, then pressed the heels of her hands into them. I just really, really wanted to.
Reagan sighed. Okay, she said. Heres the deal. Im hungry, and I have to finish reading The Outsiders. Levi likes you, you like himIm over it. It could get weird around here real fast if you start dating my high school boyfriend, but theres no turning back, you know?
Cath didnt answer. Reagan kept talking.
If he were still my boyfriend, wed have to throw down. But hes not. So lets go have lunch, okay?
Cath looked up at Reagan. And nodded her head.
* * *
Cath had already missed her morning classes. Including Fiction-Writing. She thought about Nick, and right
at that moment it was like thinking about almost anybody.
Reagan was eating a bowl of Lucky Charms. Okay, she said, stabbing her spoon at Cath, now what?
Now what, what? Cath said, her mouth full of grilled cheese.
Now what with Levi?
Cath swallowed. Nothing. I dont know. Do I have to know what?