If theyre about food, water, air, or shelteryes. Jesus, Cath, Im your roommate.
Okay, Cath said, turning back to her book, so noted.
So, do you want me to show you where the dining hall is?
No, thats okay.
You cant keep living off diet bars. Youre running out.
Im not running out.
Reagan sighed. Levi might have eaten a few.
Youre letting your boyfriend steal my protein bars? Cath leaned over her bed to check on her stashall the boxes were open.
He said he was doing you a favor, Reagan said. Forcing the issue. And hes not my boyfriend. Exactly.
This is a violation, Cath said angrily, forgetting for a moment that Reagan was probably the most intimidating person shed ever met.
Get your shoes, Reagan said. Im showing you where the dining hall is.
No. Cath could already feel the anxiety starting to tear her stomach into nervous little pieces. Its not just that. I dont like new places. New situations. Therell be all those people, and I wont know where to sitI dont want to go.
Reagan sat at the end of her own bed, folding her arms. Have you been going to class?
Of course.
How?
Class is different, Cath said. Theres something to focus on. Its still bad, but its tolerable.
Are you on drugs?
No.
Maybe you should be.
Cath pushed her fists into her bed. This isnt any of your business. You dont even know me.
This, Reagan said. This is why I didnt want a freshman roommate.
Why do you even care? Am I bothering you?
Were going to dinner right now.
No. Were not.
Get your student ID.
Im not going to dinner with you. You dont even like me.
I like you fine, Reagan said.
This is ridiculous.
Jesus Christ, arent you hungry?
Cath was squeezing her fists so hard, her knuckles were going white.
She thought about chicken-fried steak. And scalloped potatoes. And strawberry-rhubarb pie. And wondered whether the Pound dining hall had an ice cream machine like Selleck did.
And she thought about winning. About how she was letting this win, whatever this wasthe crazy inside of her. Cath, zero. Crazy, one million.
She leaned over, compressing the knot in her stomach.
Then she stood up with as much dignity as she could scavenge and put on her Vans.
I have been eating real food, she muttered. I eat lunch at Selleck with my sister.
Reagan opened the door. Then why dont you eat here?
Because I waited too long. I built up a block about it. Its hard to explain.
Seriously, why arent you on drugs?
Cath walked past her out of the room. Are you a licensed psychiatrist? Or do you just play one on TV?
Im on drugs, Reagan said. Theyre a beautiful thing.
* * *
There was no awkward moment in the dining hall, no standing at the doorway with a tray, trying to decide on the most innocuous place to sit.
Reagan sat at the first half-empty table she came across. She didnt even nod to the other people sitting there.
Arent you going to be late for work?
Cath asked.
Im going out. But I was gonna eat dinner here first anyway. We pay for all these meals; may as well eat them.
Caths tray had a plate of baked macaroni and two bowls of Brussels sprouts. She was ravenous.
Reagan took a big bite of pasta salad. Her long hair fell over her shoulders. It was a dozen shades of red and gold, none of them quite natural. Do you really think that I dont like you? she asked with her mouth full.
Cath swallowed. She and Reagan had never had a conversation before today, never mind a serious one. Um I get the feeling that you dont want a roommate.
I dont want a roommate. Reagan frowned. She frowned as much as Levi smiled. But that has nothing to do with you.
Why live in the dorms, then? Youre not a freshman, right? I didnt think upperclassmen lived on campus.
I have to, Reagan said. Its part of my scholarship. I was supposed to get my own room this yearI was on the listbut all the residence halls are over capacity.
Sorry, Cath said.
Its not your fault.
I didnt want a roommate either, Cath said. I mean I thought I was going to live with my sister.
You have a sister who goes here?
Twin.
Ew. Weird.
Why is that weird? Cath asked.
It just is. Its creepy. Like having a doppelgänger. Are you identical?
Technically.
Ew. Reagan shuddered melodramatically.
Its not creepy, Cath said. What is wrong with you?
Reagan grimaced and shuddered again. So why arent you living with your sister?
She wanted to meet new people, Cath said.
You make it sound like she broke up with you.
Cath speared another Brussels sprout. She lives in Schramm, she said to her tray. When she looked up, Reagan was scowling at her.
Youre making me feel sorry for you again, Reagan said.
Cath turned her fork on Reagan. Dont feel sorry for me. I dont want you to feel sorry for me.
I cant help it, Reagan said. Youre really pathetic.
I am not.
You are. You dont have any friends, your sister dumped you, youre a freaky eater And youve got some weird thing about Simon Snow.
I object to every single thing you just said.
Reagan chewed. And frowned. She was wearing dark red lipstick.