The Adam Zimmerman who was born in 1968, stole the world in 2025, and was frozen down in 2035, was a creation of the conditions of twentieth century as it lurched through its Millennial moment. His self-discipline and self-sufficiency were responses to that worlds insanity, no less natural for being so very rare. The great majority of men always participate in the particular madness of their times, which they consider to be inevitable and irresistible, but there is always a tiny minority which is driven to a contrary extreme. Every era generates its Adams; the particular, peculiar, and perfect Adam that was Adam Zimmerman was one of many such creations, and like the rest he was the only one completely appropriate to his own era.
In becoming so utterly determined to evade the tyranny of the late twentieth century the tyranny of the Grim Reaper in his final and most flamboyant phase Adam Zimmerman embodied the late twentieth century. He was, in a sense, the incarnation of the late twentieth century. The consequence of this was that although his desperate attempt to hurl himself through time into a new and better era was entirely understandable as a response to the malaise of his environment, and precisely definitive of the man he was, Adam Zimmerman could never really belong in any era to which he might have been delivered. He could never be, or hope or become, a citizen of the future. Even though his relationship with his own time was encapsulated in his fervor to leave it, he remained firmly anchored to the world that had created him and made him what he was.
There is, I admit, a certain paradoxicality in this contention but there is always a certain paradoxicality in human affairs, which afflicts the unique even more acutely than it afflicts the ordinary.
When Adam Zimmerman went into suspended animation he ceased to be Adam Zimmerman, because the very possibility of Adam Zimmerman was annihilated on the instant. When he woke up, of course, he was still Adam Zimmerman by name, and his name was one to conjure with. It was a famous name, a powerful name, a name overloaded with significance but the paragon of self-discipline and self-sufficiency that the name had once identified was gone. In its place there was something very different: an atavism; a messiah; a phantom; a pawn; a symbol of everything that had changed in human history and human nature.
In attaining his goal, Adam Zimmerman lost it. In becoming attainable, that goal had become worthless.
This, you must remember, was a mortal man. He had dreamed of emortality, but in himself body, mind, and spirit alike he was mortal. It was mortality that made him what he was: a fever burning against extinction; a passion to deny the inevitable. The angst which drove him to achievement was no mere matter of biochemistry burdened in the genome; it was far more deep-seated than that. Had the problem been a matter of biochemistry it could have been countered by biotechnology,
but it was not that kind of problem, and it had to be tackled in a different way. It was a historical problem, of maladjustment to the moment; it had to be worked out on the stage of history, by means of a readjustment to the moment.
Adam Zimmerman believed that there was only one way in which a creature of his kind and a product of his world could overcome the soul-sickness born of the fear of death. In that, he was correct. He believed that the way was to become emortal, by removing himself to a world and time whose citizens were all emortal. In that, alas, he was mistaken.
Mortals can be made emortal; this we know. Mortals like Madoc Tamlin or Christine Caine could accept emortality gratefully, because they had always believed themselves capable of it, while never valuing it so highly that it became the be-all and end-all of their existence.
But Adam Zimmerman was not that kind of mortal.
He was different . In the final analysis, and in the fullness of time, it was the fact of that difference rather than its precise configuration which determined his fate.
Eight
The enormity of Adam Zimmermans achievement as a time traveler did not become clear to him immediately. Confused by his conscription into the AMI war, he learned only by degrees what sort of a world it was to which he had come. His learning process was made far more difficult by the upheavals surrounding him, and it is not at all surprising that once the reign of peace was restored and he was safely returned to Earth he slipped by slow degrees into a deep depression.
By the time Adam arrived on Earth he was equipped with the very best Internal Technology to alleviate his moods, but his troubles were no mere matters of chemical imbalance. It was his confrontation with circumstance that harassed him, and would not let him accept the gift of tranquility. He visited Manhattan, which he had once considered to be his home, and found it alien. He visited the crater where once had stood the old city of Jerusalem, which he had once considered to be his spiritual home, and found it far less alien than he had hoped.