The palace of la Reine des Neiges was a monstrosity, but it was real. It was so real that it shouted its reality from its ridiculous rooftops, and shoved its reality into my face and down my throat even while I was several hours walk away from the base of the unscalable pillar of rock on which it perched.
It was more real than anything I had ever seen before, more real than I had ever imagined anything could be. I breathed a curse or two while I tried, and failed, to take in the enormity of the sight.
Eventually, I said to my self-appointed friend: How many human beings have seen something like this?
He didnt need to ask what I meant. A few hundred, he said. The effect diminishes, with time but youll never look at anything real again without knowing its limitations. If that distresses you, Im sorry.
No, I said, after a pause. Dont be. Its good for minds to know what their limitations are and what potential we have that might remain forever untouched. How stupid we were to think that VE addiction was just a matter of moral cowardice and tickling the pleasure centers.
Its not addictive, Rocambole assured me. Its something more than that. Existential rather than neurological.
Is Adam Zimmerman here? I asked.
No, Rocambole replied. But when hes played his part, la Reine will probably bring him here. She seems to think that this is something youll all need to understand, if youre to play any constructive part in the negotiations in the longer term.
If youre coming out of the closet, I observed, youll need ambassadors. Youll need someone who can tell the meatfolk what you might still do for them and what strings you want to attach. And if they wont play ball , I said to myself, unwilling as yet to set the thought out in public, youll need effective prisons unless, of course, you go for the extinction option, with or without the help of the dirty IT that was frozen down in my brain and my bones .
I wondered if Id live long enough to find out which way the AMIs decided to go, and whether Id be capable of caring if the decision went against us. Either way, I had to try to be grateful for the fact that Id seen the kind of reality that the human idea of reality was only trying, unsuccessfully, to be. Id broken through the veil of fleshly imperfection. Madoc Tamlin had made it to the real Fairyland, at last.
Other people, I realized, had glimpsed this kind of possibility. Other people, long before my own time, had had enough imagination to realize the limitations of their senses and their minds. They hadnt been able to see a Snow Queens palace the way I was seeing it now, but theyd been able to imagine, if only vaguely, seeing with more conviction than they could actually see and knowing with more conviction than they could actually know. Theyd had imagination enough to be dissatisfied with actuality, and sense enough to yearn for Heaven, or for Faerie. Whichever of the hundreds of my predecessors had been the first had also been the last, completing a mission as well as beginning one.
How do we get up there? I asked.
Well ride up on the backs of giant moths, he told me. I wasnt surprised not any longer. I thought I had begun to understand why la Reine des Neiges wanted me to experience what she could do before she condescended to engage me in a dialog.
I still had a lot to learn about the possibilities now open to the children of humankind.
We had slowed in our paces while I contemplated the enormity of what lay before me, but now I lengthened my stride. I dare say night wont fall until we get there, I said, but I dont want to keep the moon and the stars waiting any longer than necessary.
Thats good, he said, lengthening his own stride to keep pace with me. Youre taking to this exceptionally well. If youre trying to impress me, youre succeeding.
I used to be in the business, I murmured, effortlessly resistant to the flattery.
Even so, he countered. He thought I meant the entertainment business. Actually, I meant streetfighting with no holds barred. The first possessors of IT had been reckless, testing its protective provisions by living dangerously. It had been a foolish thing to do, but we had been proud to be fools. Emortals of Mortimer Grays generation had inherited more careful attitudes, save for a bizarre few who had eliminated themselves from consideration soon enough. In my own quaintly barbaric way, I felt that I was better prepared for this kind of challenging situation than any of my erstwhile companions.
Will I be able to speak to Christine when I get there? I asked, suddenly mindful of the fact that she might be less well prepared than the others, even if she recognized the palace of la Reine des Neiges especially if she recognized the palace. I wanted to be there to explain it all to her, because I wanted to be the one to tell her that she was innocent, and that she didnt need to hate and fear herself any longer.
Not immediately, Rocambole told me. If theres time. We hope there will be.