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The rest of the summer, with its university entrance exams, was incredibly stressful and busy. In other words, I had no time or emotional energy to think of anything other than starting this new chapter of my life. However, a few months later, I got my first ever mobile phone, which had the numbers of my parents and a few friends, but it was missing yours. By hook or by crook, I managed to get hold of it and had to gather all my courage to text you. To my surprise, you were pleased to hear from me, and I was overjoyed! Word after word, walk after walk around the university campus, everything felt both familiar and fresh. Once again, I became completely helpless in my growing infatuation, and I simply couldnt stop what I had started.
Back then, I was bitter and confused about our relationship not developing into something bigger and better, about it breaking off where others only get going. But when I came to think of it more, I found it perfect: we both got what we needed to move forward without any fears or anxiety, knowing the best of each other and leaving out the worst.
You have always been genuinely happy to see me and hugged me like the dearest of friends; and Ive always mirrored it back. You often invited me to house parties (both yours and your friends=)), took me to dance clubs and for long night rides in your car, and even shared a huge bucket of ice cream with me once when I was at my lowest. You were considerate and protective of me, and I appreciate it enormously. Over the years, I have often had basically the same dream with slight alterations in the setting: I come to a crowded event, where I know absolutely no one, and almost start panicking, but suddenly I see your brown eyes smiling at me in the middle of that human ocean, we hug each other, and everything becomes right with the world. Thank you for that and for everything we have shared in real life. Its so easy and enjoyable to think of you; I always do it with a smile on my face and in my soul. There was almost nothing complicated about the time I knew you and spent with you. Its something Im going to keep safe in my memory forever.
Chapter 8. My Soul Sister
Whenever I think of you, I immediately feel all warm and fuzzy. That is the effect you have always had on me, right from the very first time we met.
I returned home from my first two-month summer trip to France and started a third year at university. Life seemed too dull and mundane in contrast to the excitement and new experiences of traveling abroad. A good friend of mine, whom I have known since before high school, once took me out to a new café that she liked for its warm and cozy ambiance and delicious desserts. It didnt click in my mind at first, but I bet she wanted to cheer me up and lift my spirits, so I greatly appreciated her thoughtfulness.
The place was called Chocolate. As we were walking there, she told me they had the best chocolate cake in town. I smiled because this girl always discovered the best cafés, stores, bookshops, hairdressers, and people. She also mentioned that her new classmate from university would be joining us, insisting that she was the coolest and most interesting person she had ever met: intelligent, kind, and polite. I never doubted my friends ability to form accurate impressions of people, but I certainly didnt anticipate what happened next.
When we arrived at the café, you were already there. My friend sat next to you, and I took a chair opposite you. We introduced ourselves, and even before we ordered our coffees and cakes, I knew that I liked you, just like my friend did. I vividly remember looking at you across the table and having the weirdest impression: your eyes matched your light-brown hair, which immediately made me realize deep inside that I wanted to be friends with you! It has been over 18 years since that rainy September evening, but I still cant quite comprehend how this connection formed in my mind, and even more so, how it made any sense, but it did. It made perfect and undeniable sense. I believe it was one of those signs that clearly indicate we have just met a kindred soul, or a soulmate if you will.
Our conversation flowed smoothly as if we had known one another for years. Your favorite dessert turned out to be chocolate (a coincidence?), we all liked good books and movies, and you even attended the same dance studio as I did. You exuded an incredibly welcoming and cozy energy that made it easy to trust you and share everything that was on our minds and in our hearts. There were no awkward silences that often occur when a newcomer joins an already established close friendship.
By the time I got home that evening, I was certain that I wanted this newfound connection to grow and decided not to wait for another opportunity to meet you. So, under the pretext of coordinating our dance studio schedules, I asked my friend for your phone number, hoping to spend some time talking with you before or after classes. I must have called you that same night. Although I was very determined to take a chance and directly asked if you wouldnt mind going to the dance classes with me, I also felt nervous yet hopeful that you would agree. Was it because you enjoyed my company or simply couldnt say no to a new acquaintance? Im not entirely sure, but Im so glad that you graciously accepted. Im even happier that my somewhat stalker-like approach didnt scare you off. Anyway, this marked the beginning of our beautiful long-lasting friendship.
In the following 5 years, we spent an insane amount of time together, attending the same dance classes and festival rehearsals, swimming, drinking coffee, eating desserts, taking long walks in the city, making mulled wine, watching movies, taking photos, always enjoying each others company, and talking. Or, more accurately, talking, talking, and then talking some more. I quickly realized that not only were you an active listener like me who always showed genuine interest by asking insightful questions, but also the only person I knew I could share my innermost thoughts and feelings with, without being judged or frowned upon. To this day, you are the only friend whom I have ever trusted to share ALL of myself with. Its priceless. You have always understood, supported, and encouraged me by giving me your time, warm energy, bright smiles, and by saying simple yet wise and powerful words when I needed to hear them the most. Moreover, it always amazes me that we have stayed on the same wavelength, exploring similar concepts in life, even after we moved to different cities and countries. Whenever we meet up or talk on the phone, I get washed over by this familiar feeling of mutual trust, of being completely understood and seeing myself mirrored in you. On top of that, it seems as if no time has passed at all, and we effortlessly pick up our conversation and friendship right where we left off. My love for you and my appreciation of you, your presence in my life go beyond any words. You are the sister I have never had, or how I like to think of it, my spiritual sister. And I believe our strong soulful connection is evident, since for a while, we were even considered biological sisters by those who didnt know us well.
My dear friend, I am infinitely grateful to have found you and to know that I can always be absolutely sincere with you, telling you all about my life experiences and my perception of them, and always count on receiving truly empathetic feedback. Thats why I have always felt relaxed and uninhibited with you, in the way only close friends can be. And I have missed it all so much: your non-judgemental attitude, the laughs that we shared, the very special bond that, as I feel, we have always had. You are a gem of a person, and I love you endlessly. May you be as happy in life as our friendship and interactions make me.