Kolosov Semyon - System life. How to organize life to cope with uncertainty and achieve results without burnout стр 6.

The qualities you possess are no less important. They can be the seed from which you will grow the necessary skills. It is important to admit to yourself and describe your qualities as honestly as possible. What do you consider strong qualities and weak ones. This is a subjective assessment, but we need to start from something. Qualities help to form flexible skills or, as they are commonly called, «soft skills». Harvard scientists say that flexible skills account for 85% of a persons success in the profession, rigid ones account for only 15%. Today, flexible skills are a trend, but we will talk about this in the chapter about training. Therefore, honestly describe your qualities. Without checking with a list of good and bad qualities. Just write what you consider to be the strong and weak qualities of your character. There is no purpose to praise or scold yourself. You need to take a picture of your character and understand what can already be used for growth, and what needs to be tightened. Correcting qualities is difficult. Most of them were formed in childhood, some more thanks to life experience. To change the qualities, sometimes you may need the help of a specialist. Most often, nothing needs to be changed, and the help of a career consultant puts everything in its place. But for now, just finish reading this book. Most likely, the next few chapters and a little consistency will solve your problems.

Mindset

I used to often hear that you are what you think. I dont agree with that. You can think as much as you want, but you will never do it. In order to change something or decide on something, there must be a certain mindset. Mindset is a type or way of thinking. We can also say that this is a persons worldview. In principle, it depends on him how and with whom you will move towards the goal, what will be the reaction and actions in case of difficulties and mistakes. Your confidence, attitude, courage and speed of change depend on it. Youre not what you think you are. You are what you do. To do the right thing, you need to put things in order in your way of thinking. To do this, you need to analyze your thoughts. The American psychologist Carol Dweck devoted a lot of work to the topic of mindset. She is an expert in social psychology and developmental psychology. She has a book, which in the original is called «Mindset». We have translated it as «Flexible consciousness». It explains that success in various spheres of life is not just a special talent or ability. Basically, this is the result of how we look at life. The idea of the book is that there is a «growth mindset» and a «fixed mindset». In short, the first is cool, and the second is bad. Carols book contains many examples from sports, business and personal stories that explain the role of a growth mindset for success, and how a fixed mindset contributes to failure.

Without abstruse books, it is clear that a positive attitude is good. Who would you go to Everest with? With someone who believes and longs for victory? Or with a pessimist who constantly whines and sees negativity everywhere? You will say that believing and longing is not yet done  and you will be right. Just attitude is not enough. Your installations are important, the firmware of your thinking.

Fixed mindset settings assume that every person has a certain set of skills from birth, whether professional, social or other. Such people usually think that:

And other thoughts like that. People with a fixed mindset like phrases like «yes, what are you getting yourself into, its not for you», «what if», «yes, Ive already seen a lot who didnt succeed» and so on. The image of such people is well shown in the second verse of Kastas song «Way higher». Its meaning can be described roughly as «Dry bread at home is better than roast meat abroad.» I think this phrase was invented by the most important boss of people with a fixed mindset. Of course, it is better that there are no such people around you. Surround yourself with people who will pull you up. Life is already full of people who want to pull you down.

People with a growth mindset are diametrically opposite. The mindset of growth is based on the fact that any skill or competence can be developed. That everything can be achieved if you figure it out and act. People with such a mindset will think like this:

It turns out that all people are divided into a kind of pessimists and optimists, confident and insecure people. Most people who call themselves «pessimists» or «skeptics» are afraid of failure. Therefore, they choose comfortable pessimism. There are no trials and problems in pessimism. As well as there is no growth and development. Many people usually say that they are not pessimists, but realists and just soberly assess the situation. That they have already had experience, and they know how it will be. Therefore, it is better not to go into something that you do not understand, it is better not to take risks. Such people are not confident; they did not draw conclusions from the failure and gave up. They usually work well for those who are confident. Insecure people are easier to manage, give loans, use for their needs. Some pessimists even understand this and try to get out with the help of silver bullets: courses, trainings and marathons. They are taught there to visualize, look for motivation, say «yes» to everything and praise themselves in front of the mirror. But it doesnt help, because it doesnt change the mindset.

To make steps towards growth, you need a growth mindset. To change the mindset, you need to work hard on yourself. Its funny that every person has a growth mindset from birth. Look at the children, they are super confident. They try to get up and walk. They fall, but they get up and go. No one develops learned helplessness; no one thinks that it is painful, shameful and scary. They just do it. They just dont understand a lot of things that adults understand. But look at the omniscient adults, most are not sure about anything.

Before graduating from university, I was such a child with a growth mindset. Thanks to Mom. She has always said since childhood that I am the best, and I can do anything. I never thought about the fears of failure and did not doubt myself. But after university I acquired pessimism. When it turned out that no one needed a diamond like me without work experience, I became more and more pessimistic. I didnt know what to do. I was feeling blue and I was ready to accept any job. Working at the factory, I stopped believing that I could achieve something. I didnt even think about what I wanted, and I didnt make any plans for life. Finally, my wife did not let me get bogged down in this swamp. Sometimes her critical thinking cant stop in time, and she may start to worry, but she has always been against pessimistic views. She is exactly the person who knows how to enjoy life and enjoy the moment. She was probably assigned to me so that I wouldnt go crazy for unknown merits in my past life. She was just talking to my negative thoughts: «Why do you think that? What facts are your thoughts based on?» I immediately rushed into the argument, explained to her that she did not understand anything. But every time it turned out that I had no arguments. I was just winding myself up with negativity and generating problems that might not have happened. I was engaged in forecasting and was sad. Then I was captured by a fixed mindset. I was afraid to solve difficult tasks, I wanted to justify my inaction with barriers and to absolve myself of responsibility.