Spheres of life
To analyze the current state of life, you can use the pop tool «Balance Wheel». Dont rush to close the book. Its not what you think. The balance wheel is used by different coaches, it has become boring to everyone and seems a bit childish. But no matter how cool and smart you are, this tool clearly shows the situation and raises questions about itself. More than once I observed the reaction «Oh, cmon, why do we need this wheel anyway» when people filled it in. And then they could not tear themselves away in reasoning about what this wheel consists of, and what kind of assessment should be put there. It doesnt matter in what form you do it, even if its just a list. The grades you set are important. For example, I just use columns, as in the equalizer in the player.
Balance equalizer
The main goal is not to balance the wheel, but to see your life settings. So, you can make an upper-level slice to move from the general to the particular. How to set a preset in the equalizer and make more subtle settings? For example, you select «rock» and the sliders fall into place. Then you tweak it for yourself and get a sound that suits you. So, lets use the concept of «Balance equalizer», not «Wheel». And we will also agree that our goal is to see the current state of the spheres of life, and not to balance them. I dont believe that the wheel can be balanced in general. It will change over the course of life, as values and the concept of happiness will change. Therefore, it will look different in different periods.
You know perfectly well what to do. Take a piece of paper or an online service. Draw 10 columns: «health», «energy», «time», «family», «love», «finances», «friends/environment», «career/business», «hobbies», «development». This is the base, and usually it is enough. Once it was decided that the balance of these spheres would make life happy. All people are unique and think in their own categories. Therefore, the wheel format raises questions again. Everything that you consider an important part of life, you can add as a new column. For example, I add «recreation», «sports» and «nutrition» separately. They are included in the «health» by default, but it is important for me to see and record the assessment separately. There is no need to delve into and come up with what is included in each item. If its hard to figure out, then divide one item into two different ones. When the columns are ready, then evaluate each sphere on a 10-point scale, where from 0 to 3 is a complete absence or minimal satisfaction; from 4 to 7 is an average degree, something has already been achieved, but not ideal; from 8 to 10 is maximum satisfaction.
It is important to identify fundamental problem areas. To improve anything, you need to understand what is wrong there now. Then fix it, achieve stability and then further growth. Very often, after watching enough successful posts or seeing an imbalance in the balance wheel, people immediately think about high goals and begin to take rash actions. For example, they buy a gym membership, and then it gets dusty on the table since there is a lot of work, no strength, etc. Its not their fault. This is how our brain works. It doesnt understand the past and the future. It perceives thoughts about a beautiful body as if you already have a beautiful body. Gives you a kick, you do harsh things, and then comes up with an explanation to save energy. At such moments, the owner of the fitness club rejoices and pumps the sphere of finance in the balance wheel at your expense. If you didnt know, then fitness clubs know about this mechanism, and this is their earnings model. You buy a subscription and dont go there. Just send your money and thats it. Its perfect. By this I want to say that before you aim at a big goal, you need to patch holes in fundamental things.
If you have from 1 to 3 on the balance wheel in the areas of «health», «energy», «time», «finance», then starting to move towards a big goal is like bailing out water with a bucket in a boat with a hole. It is always necessary to solve fundamental problems first in order to be in line for new changes. Evaluate your spheres of life, highlight the areas with the smallest ratings. Then line them up in a list from the most important to the least important. The top 4 must include: «health», «energy», «time» and «finance». If you have bad grades there, then forget about everything else for now and concentrate on them. Without them, you simply will not be able to start and finish the job.
Environment
Everyone knows the proverbs «tell me who your friend is, and Ill tell you who you are» or «two peas in a pod.» They are most cheerfully known as «London is the capital of Great Britain». Every second person utters them, but has never meaningfully thought about his environment and its influence. The environment is one of the strongest factors affecting you. Each person pays attention to social connections with 150 people. Real social connections, not all 600 friends on a social network. The figure of 150 was confirmed by the evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar back in the 60s. In his theory, he calls all 150 people friends, but in fact, real friends are about 5 people. Then there are 15 people of friends and acquaintances. They make up your close circle of friends.
Model of a persons social environment
At each level, you spend time communicating, giving emotions, energy and thoughts. And what is important you also get them from the environment. Someone is charging you and supporting you. Someone is just crying to you or complaining about life. Someone wants to discuss gossip or impose their interests. Someone has not achieved anything themselves and does not want you to achieve it. Someone is genuinely happy for you, and someone smiles into your eyes, and then discusses with their friends what an asshole you are.
Until 2013, I myself had never thought about the environment. Ive always been surrounded by my best friends. We had common interests and each others support. We studied, worked, had a cool vacation and made music. It was a great time; it was a separate life. Then some left Donetsk, and some lived far away. We rarely saw each other, and messengers were not so popular then. Most of the time I was working. I went to the factory, where most of my entourage were factory workers. There were a lot of cool guys there, but the composition of the shifts often changed, and I rarely crossed paths with them. Then I just got into the universe of workers, where many people think that no one can achieve anything on their own, that everywhere there are small salaries, the bosses are assholes, they all pumped themselves into cars and apartments, and the president does not worry about our well being, and we are simply used as slaves. There were shifts of 12 hours, so I listened to this attitude to life and the world almost around the clock. I couldnt not communicate, but I didnt support anyone either. I thought that if I dont think so, then I just listen to them like a radio, and it doesnt affect me. One day, in another conversation with my wife about buying an apartment in Donetsk, I caught myself thinking that I also began to think so. That everyone is to blame for me, and apartments cost a lot of money, and you cant earn money on them in an honest way. I just felt that I was becoming like these people at the factory. Whose goals in life do not go beyond a bottle of cognac on the weekend. After that, I just got sick of work, and I wanted to change everything. Country, city, job, everything to completely reset. So that Will Smith «flashed» me a device from «Men in Black», and I forgot all about these times.